Long Shot
by budds
Summary: The summer after Santana finished her senior year at McKinley High, she she begins working as a service clerk at the local drug store. Her life starts to change as she becomes infatuated with the girl who works at the diner next door.
1. I Felt It

**Hello! Welcome to my story :D**  
**Thank you for taking interest and I hope you enjoy the first chapter! This story is slightly based on my real life because I do work at a drug store and there just might be a girl at a diner next door.**  
**The chapters will get longer and more intricate so tell me what you think!**

**Thank you again!**

* * *

"Twenty two forty five"

"What?"

"Twenty two forty five"

"Can you repeat that slower?"

I gripped the edge of the counter frustrated at the elderly woman who stood before me. Okay scratch that, she was an old ass lady who bought way too many goddamn items for her own good, was creating a giant line, and was using a check for twenty two dollars.

I inhaled slowly and tried not to express my anger. I reached over and tilted the top of the register so she could look at the price. She tilted her glasses and craned her neck forward, as if she was looking through a microscope. I tried not to make a comment about how uncomfortably close she was getting to me.

Clenching my teeth, I grabbed the phone next to me, pushed a button, and my voice echoed throughout the entire store.

"Can I have a second cashier to the front?"

Yes, I work customer service at the local drugstore in Lima. Do I like it? Hell no. After graduating from McKinley, I decided that I wasn't ready to ship myself across the world to fancy colleges with names I can't pronounce. I needed more time to myself to think about my life, so I'm attending the local community college to get my act together. My parents wanted me to take summer classes or get a job, so here I am.

I tugged the collar of my navy blue polo and exhaled as I sat down on the bench outside. My head was pounding and this fifteen – soon to be twenty – minute break was all I needed in the moment.

"Hey there lady"

I looked over and smirked as Mr. Mohawk came strutting over with a lighter in his hand and a pout forming on his lips. He has been working here for god knows how long, but he always manages to spice up my day.

"What do you want Puck? I'm trying to enjoy my break without anyone wanting anything from me." I said sternly but a hint of humor sprinkling my words.

"Well that's just the thing there San," He held up a lighter and flicked it between his thumb and forefinger in a small circle, I guess he learned something useful in high school, "I don't want anything from you, I just happen to have this lighter who needs a buddy to keep him company."

I rolled my eyes and laughed as I reached into my pocket and pulled out a box of Marlboro's. Why do soft packs even exist? It seems like a stupid idea to continue to create a less stable packaging when better options exist, like the idea of making an old folks home for old people. I really hate old people.

I pulled a cigarette out and held it between my fingers, "What's in it for me huh? You're always mooching smokes off of me."

His pout elongated and he ran a hand through his Mohawk with his freehand. I don't blame him, it was miserably hot outside. I pulled on my polo collar again and waited for him to formulate a clever excuse this time when my eyes caught locked onto something, or rather, _someone_.

Her name was Brittany. She worked at the diner next to my store, a store whose name will never be uttered to avoid sheer humiliation. She worked as a waitress, or a cook, or a billboard because I'm sure she would get paid more than minimum wage from the stares she got, the majority of which were mine. I had only been there once to grab a to-go menu and never racked up the courage to go back in. I only saw her in passing glimpses like these. She seemed sweet enough but girls were my kryptonite.

She had ran outside the diner after a man who left his wallet on the counter, long and shiny blonde hair following behind her, as well as a really, _really_, nice ass. I would go more into description but I haven't seen her enough to note all her features other than the most blatant ones. I had to double check to see if she actually had angel wings protruding out of her back because I know for a fact no customer would get an ounce of sympathy from me if they left their shit on my counter. This is one of the many reasons why I'm such a bitch, but I've grown to accept that title throughout high school.

I realized that I had been leering for a long time and quickly looked back to Puck, hoping he hadn't notice. Who am I kidding? Of-fucking-course he notice.

He tilted his head back and started cracking up, taking a few steps back and covering his face with his hand. My face flushed red, I hated when that happened. I hated showing any emotion that portrayed weakness or openness, I keep to myself.

"Why the fuck are you laughing!" I barked angrily at Puck. I know damn well why he was laughing but I chose to act ignorant in hopes that maybe he was laughing at something else.

He snorted and bent over, leaning forward and eased his face right next to my ear, "And I thought I was obvious when I checked out girls." He snapped back, grabbed the cigarette from between my fingers and started walking away.

"Hey get back here, where are you going!" I yelled over to him, angry that he always finds a way to leave with more than he came with.

"My shift starts in ten and I wanna smoke the hell out of this cigarette." He smiled and turned the corner. I sighed and looked down, defeated. What the hell was his problem? What was _my _problem? I'm Santana Lopez for fucks sake. I can't believe I got awe-struck by a girl _and_ let Puck make a fool out of me within one crappy break.

I leaned back and exhaled as I squinted, realizing the sun was just overheard. It was only five o'clock and I had another six hours left in my shift before I got to go home and relax until I had to come back to this miserable place.

This was going to be a long summer.


	2. I Never Saw it Coming

**Welcome readers :) Thank you for taking your time to read this. I've had this idea for a while but I never got the push to write the story. I work as a service clerk at a drug store myself so this might be slightly based on reality :P**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

The next day I walked into work with the usual disinterested look on my face. I had only been working here for a month and I was already sick of it. Why were people always so rude? I mean, I'm a bitch but that doesn't mean everyone else has to be one.

I entered the code to enter the hallway and stood in front of the time clock. I could hear sounds coming from around the corner in the office but I wasn't exactly in the mood to greet my manager with fake smiles. I had to save those for eight more hours.

7:20 am

I had ten minutes until my shift started. I hated getting to work earlier than I was scheduled but I had no choice really. My parents still had work and I swear my mom uses her blow dryer right outside my door.

"Hey you!"

Peering over, my coworker stood before me, smiling at me with a toothy grin as she leaned against the wall next to me. She had short blonde hair, a beautiful face, and a lovely figure. She was basically a real life Cinderella, but her life has been far from a happily ever after. She keeps to herself, like me. This is probably why I can tolerate her. She's been working here for about half a year.

She grabbed my cheek and yanked it forcefully, pulling my entire body towards her. "Hey sleepyhead wake up! There's no way you're making me work harder to pick up your slack _again_."

"Stop it Quinn" I croaked out as I slapped her hand out of my face. Just because she a little older than me doesn't mean she can act like she's in charge of me. I hate when people tell me what to do, which pretty much explains why I hate this job - and most people. In a normal situation I probably would have jumped her, verbally or physically, but Quinn and I have known each other even before I applied to this miserable place. She went to the same high school as me and helped me get hired here. She's always trying to do things in my best interest.

I needed more people like her in my life.

"It's not even time to punch in yet, let me have ten minutes of fucking peace?"

"Eight minutes you mean?" She retorted back with a victorious grin on her face like she just told me the best comeback. I could just feel that today was going to be one of _those _shifts.

Suddenly I remembered something that I had been meaning to ask that might lighten up the mood a little, or at least her attitude.

"Heard back from Yale yet?"

Her snarky grin faded and she seemed more relaxed as she shook her head, a large smile immediately plastering her face. "Not yet, I'll find out in two weeks!"

"You said that two weeks ago" I responded with an annoyed tone. Quinn was one of the most talented people I knew and deserves this better than anyone. Yes she can be irritating at times but anyone who can get Santana Lopez to tolerate them deserves some sort of acknowledgement.

She rolled her eyes and shook her hand in front of her face, "You sound just like my grandmother. It takes a long time for this stuff to be properly reviewed to make sure each individual is qualified to be able to get in. It's a very prestigious school and-"

"-Your grandmother? Hot damn." I interjected while licking my lips and closing my eyes slowly. I was tired and decided to see how much fun I could have with her because I had gotten my answer already.

"What? Ugh is that all you took from what I said?" Quinn said in a disappointed tone, I think I was already getting to her.

Bingo.

"Oh that means I can have her since I took her? Mmm Quinn you just made my day."

"That's disgusting."

"Yeah keep talking dirty to me."

"What! I'm not, and the only dirty talk is the way you're grossing me out about my own grandmother."

"I bet I could get your grandmother to gross you out too."

Quinn rolled her eyes and shook her head. She knew that anything said would be turned against her and decided to avoid furthering the conversation.

I could have just said _Oh I'm sorry you don't know yet_ or _keep trying!_, but that's not how I roll. If I am going too deep without bracing myself, I'll find the nearest escape to buoy myself out of it. Also, it makes things a lot more hilarious.

It was about time to punch into the time clock - who knew being perverse could kill so much time? – when the door to the hallway beeped as someone entered the code to get it. It took them a few tried to get it right. Obviously they were in a rush, I mean they _were _about to be late. I could have helped but that required effort….and caring.

The door swung open and a tall boy with his work polo half on stumbled in. Thank god he had a plain white t-shit underneath or I'd have puked from the epic manboobage that was threatening to spilled out. He struggled with himself to get into the right holes.

Wanky.

"Crap I'm late!" He practically yelled as he tugged the shirt over his head and B-lined for the time clock.

With boobs that big, I'd guess he was already in his second trimester. How could he just figure out now he was late? Okay, that was mean of me but still funny, and that's all that matters.

I whipped the smiled off my face at my own thoughts and turned to him, "Finn its 7:29, you're not going to be late."

"I just can't be late again." The boy said desperately as he fumbled with his employee number on the time clock like he had done with the door code.

Quinn chimed into the conversation and looked directly at the boy, her voice more calm than it was a moment ago, "Finn, you need to be more responsible with this. I already talked you out of _one_ write up."

Finn's face dropped in admission to this and he looked at her while he played with his nametag. He was probably going to say something sappy, but I interrupted his train of thought before he could utter anything.

"Maybe you should spend less time with your boyfriend and more time getting ready for work earlier? I mean I know morning wood must be a hard task to handle when two guys are involved but he does have a massive mouth which means double the-"

"Santana!" Quinn barked at me and gave me a sharp glare. "Can you not be so god damn mean to him! He just walked in and you're already being a bitch!" Her eyes were fixated on me but flicked between me and Finn to see how he reacted.

Finn wasn't gay, despite how he acts and talks and exists. It's just that his best friend – or life partner, whichever you prefer – was impossible to handle half the time. He was cocky, arrogant, and jumped from girl to girl while shamelessly flirting with customers. I don't see anything wrong with flirting, but I hate having competition and he was quite cute, despite his bleach blonde hair and gigantic mouth.

I looked at Quinn and immediately felt a little bit of regret for bashing on Finn so quickly, even though I thought it was fantastic humor.

Finn usually would have retorted with either something less clever than me, or a continuation of the ridiculous situation I painted for him but he was also awestruck by Quinn's outburst.

A silent took over after the cyclone of sarcastic to serious emotions that had accumulated within a ten-second span of time. I took this opportunity to punch in, the beeps of the button penetrating the uneasy vibe, only making the silence stand out more.

Quinn punched in right after me and walked out the door, not making eye contact with either of us as the door closed loudly behind her. I'm pretty sure she yanked it shut so no one would follow after her.

Finn looked at me confused and it didn't help that my expression reflected his; well mine was more attractive of course.

"What was that about..?" He asked as he stared at the door and then back at me, but his eyes were looking off to the side and I could tell he was replaying the situation in his head again.

I shook my head and sighed. I actually, genuinely felt bad this time for insulting Finn. Even though I'd only been working there a month, I already grew accustomed to how I could talk to each coworker and what their personalities were like in different situations. And by different situations I meant different methods of me harassing them verbally. I knew I could make those remarks to Finn and he wouldn't be offended, but saying those things around Quinn..

I walked out the door, the door slamming loudly behind me as well. Maybe Quinn didn't pull the door behind her and it was always this loud? But I know I would have noticed it before. Whatever it's just a fucking door.

I eyed around the store looking for where Quinn had gone. Goosebumps immediately covered my skin because the door to the hallway happened to be at the back of the store in aisle 10, where we kept all out frozen foods and cold drinks. I can't believe I was actually looking for her, I didn't really care that much but the look she gave me made my heart sink a little. I'm not exactly sure how a hollow heart can sink but that's beside the point. I felt _something_ from the look in her eye and I knew exactly why she gave me that look.

I walked down the arctic aisle and peered over my shoulder occasionally to make sure she didn't walk by without me knowing. I had to be on register one right now because the store was open and people were already coming in.

Was I really wasting my time looking for her? As if I had any idea what to tell her once I found her. I don't do well with talking about feelings and admitting I did something wrong.

"Santana, you need to be in the front. You already have a line forming!"

I spun around and saw a tall man with curly brown hair and a chin you could see from the lot over. Okay it was _that_ big, but it definitely was a feature that stood out. He was an understanding manager and never barked orders at me, but kept it professional. I liked him.

"Okay I'll be right over Mr. Shue" I replied with a smile that I hoped was an acceptable guise for how I was really feeling. Why did I feel so bad? I always hurt people's feelings and it's not like anything I said was actually true about Finn.

At register one was literally the worst place on the planet. Not only were you confined to one area and couldn't venture off to do anything else in order to kill time, but the majority of the people who shop always end up complaining about some unnecessary little thing. I swear there's a group out there that purposely gets together and plans out how to make service clerks hate their lives. Maybe those were just called assholes.

My train of thought all froze when I saw the person who appeared before me. I was on automatic mode with greeting and scanning that I didn't even notice her walk in. My heartbeat quickened and I know that she could visibly see the change of color splash over my face when I met her eyes.

They were so blue.


	3. Someone Pulled it Tighter

**I'm getting quite a few people adding this story to their alerts and such! I appreciate it, it really means a lot to me! Thank you :)**

* * *

"Hi!"

"Uh…um…h-hey!"

Was I really stuttering? I've talked to so many girls in my life and now here I am choked up from this girl in front of me. This was the first time she came into the store while I worked. Seeing her at a distance was a lot easier to handle but here she was, right in front of me and I definitely wasn't ready.

My pulse quickened as my hands clamored to grab the items she was buying and run them through the scanner. I didn't want her to think I was an emotional mess _and_ slow.

As I scanned her items I realized that the silence was becoming eerie and it had just hit me that I wasn't talking to her like I would have if she were just any other customer.

"How are you doing today?"

I sounded so fake and monotone, she's probably going to think I didn't want to talk to her. Did I want to talk to her? I could barley form a sentence normally. Why am I getting so flustered? So many conflicting thoughts raced through my mind that only assisted in further making the situation more difficult for me.

She answered, but I was too in thought to even listen to what she said. I could tell she asked me something because of how she tilted back and forth on her heel and was staring directly at me with her lips pursed.

I had that same little tick when I was waiting on someone.

Daring to venture into danger, my eyes looked up and met her gaze again. Damn those eyes, I know its so cliché, but I've never been so mesmerized by something like this before. They weren't just blue, but they shimmered on their own and had patterns that caused you to look deeper into them to fully appreciate the design. It's probably because I've only really seen her at a distance and never got to see her face so close up that I was taken aback by this now.

"W-What was that?" I managed to croak out as I snapped out of my daze.

She tilted her head to the side and blinked as a smile grew on her face. God she was so damn adorable. I tried to look at anything but her eyes but I felt that everything else was too dull in comparison. Like when you look at a picture and the thing that you immediately look at is the most vibrant object and all the rest is insignificant.

"I asked how your day was." She answered sweetly, she didn't even sound irritated that I completely ignored her.

"Oh! Mine was good, thanks" I replied with a little more confidence.

She nodded when I replied and pulled out her phone from her pocket. It must have vibrated, or she just didn't want to continue this poor excuse for a conversation, I wouldn't blame her.

"Oh wait! I forgot something. Can I go grab it real quick! I'll be fast I promise!" She leaned forward and placed her hands on the counter as she asked, almost begging me.

I tried to hold back a laugh at the fact she was asking me to do something that didn't require my permission, it was quite silly. "Yeah it's fine, there."

She darted to the back of the store and once she was out of my field of vision I exhaled loudly. I shook my head and tried to relax before I had to face her again. It was crazy how nervous she was making me. Maybe when she came back I could ask about something that would trigger a normal conversation.

"Can you call for a manager please?"

Fuck my life, seriously?

I turned my head to follow the voice and my eyes met the old lady that now stood before me. I didn't notice her come up while I waited for my stutter-inducer to come back.

The lady was old as hell and had a permanent frown from her sagging wrinkly skin. She was probably one of those ladies that only bought cat food and had coupons stored for things she would never need.

"Yeah, one moment _please_." I said to her, but it might as well have been "Bitch wait" from the tone I used.

Before she could react to my sassy attitude, I turned and grabbed the phone and clicked the button to turn on the intercom.

Shit, what did she want me to do?

"Can I…uh..erm.." My muscles tensed at the embarrassment of my own uncertainty echoing throughout the store. I knew I was more nervous because Brittany was in the store and could hear me. It always ends up that way doesn't it? You can do something easily hundreds of times a day but right when someone whose opinion you slightly care about is around, you will almost always make a mess of yourself. Maybe that's just me.

"Manager! Mr. Shue! To the front please" I practically yelled when my brain decided to work.

She nodded to me and stepped toward the front door. It was more of a slither considering how damn slow she moved.

Exhaling loudly again, I looked down and closed my eyes. Even though there weren't many people in the store this early, I felt so embarrassed by my slip-up.

The sound of clattering items smashing on the counter caused me to jolt up and meet Brittany's gaze again. I didn't know which was scarier, the loud noise or the fact that her eyes pull me in the more I look at them.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to...interrupt." She said with a small smirk forming on her mouth. It wasn't fueled by any rudeness, she was genuinely sorry.

What was she interrupting? Oh right, I forgot I was looking at the floor like some pinned-up zombie. She probably thinks I'm a zombie considering how difficult it is to do such simple tasks like speaking.

"What! Oh no I was just..did you find everything else you needed?" My face flushed again and I just wanted her to busy herself with her phone again so I had a moment to think.

"Yep!" she said as she rose on her tip-toes for a second and popped back down as she flicked her head forward, pointing to the pile on the counter.

Five cans of Arizona Green Tea, the extra sweet flavor, were lying on the counter. A smirk immediately grew on my face as I calmed down a little more. She was buying the exact same flavor I always got. The regular ones were just never sweet enough.

I ran them through the scanner and put them in plastic bags gracefully. I knew they weren't fragile but I felt a little pressured to be a better bagger while she watched me. I double bagged them and place them on the counter. If I was this slow and smooth with every customer I'd always have a line. Luckily there was no one in line behind her so taking my time was worth it.

"Seventeen twelve" I said after had bagged all of her items. She started fumbling with her purse, which looked like it was painted by a five year old in finger painting class. The base was white but it had colored spots speckled all over it. I couldn't help but smile as she stuck her tongue out of her mouth and furrowed her brows. Her determination was so tangible, which only made her more adorable considering how simple. Finally she pulled out her wallet which was covered in unicorns.

Are you fucking serious?

She opened it up and pulled out a crumpled up twenty dollar bill. She unfolded it and tried to take out the creases before handing it to me. I assumed that since she worked at a diner, it was probably a habit to have straight bills - or it was just another adorable tick.

I gave her change to her and hesitated a little because I knew I would have to venture again into adversity by meeting her gaze. After grabbing the receipt when it finished printing, I took a short breath and looked up at her.

"Have a nice day"

"Thank you Santana"

She winked with a sly smirk and walked out with her things as I stood in shock, realizing what had just happened. I quickly looked down to confirm that my own desires weren't getting the best of me, and surely enough they weren't.

I wasn't wearing my nametag.


	4. Took it as a Warning

**Here's chapter four! Thanks again to everyone who's taking time to read :)**

**Chapters will be longer too don't worry about that!**

* * *

"So was she working today?" asked a tall, built boy with mocha colored skin from behind the counter at the diner. He looked eagerly at the blonde girl, his eyes shimmering as brightly as his earrings.

Brittany dropped her purse and shopping bag when she reached him and smiled up at the boy. He looked so excited to hear her response that would make or break his day. "Yeah she's working up front today. I'm guessing she just started her shift so you have time to catch her."

The boy's face lit up immediately at Brittany's words, making a fist with his hand and jolting it up in an effort to contain his excitement.

"But seriously Matt, when're you going to make me stop spying? You should just go talk to her yourself, she seems friendly enough."

His head shook violently at her words while he grabbed his apron and tied it behind his back, "Are you crazy Britt! There's no way I'm going to just rush in without planning my next move first!"

"You gotta have a first move to have a 'next move' right?" Brittany teased, "Just go in and talk to her. Maybe offer her some free pancakes to swoon her over!" She put one hand on her heart and the other to her head dramatically, leaning back against the wall that divided the kitchen from the main area of the diner.

Matt grabbed an egg and held it up threateningly behind his head and held it there, causing Brittany to shriek and jolt behind the wall laughing.

"Next time I won't hesitate!"

"Good! Then maybe you'll say something to her!"

A few hours passed and the store had begun to fill up with customers. It never seemed too full but with the amount of aisles that were scattered throughout the store, it was hard to really estimate how many people were in there at a given time. Also it was a Saturday, which was the busiest day.

It was about time for my break, which always seemed to be placed at the best times on normal days. However, after the run in with Brittany, I wanted to take my break immediately after she walked out the door. The rest of the time was a blur as I replayed the conversation – or lack of – in my head.

Picking up the phone, I paged for Finn to come to the front register to take my place for me. I hadn't seen him since the incident in the hallway except for a couple moments he passed by to stock items on the shelves. Within a few minutes he was up front and sure enough he still has that same unsure look on his face.

"Hey." he said timidly, avoiding eye contact with me.

"I need my break." I knew he wanted to talk more about earlier but I wasn't really in the mood to talk to him, I wanted to find Quinn and figure things out with her. I had hoped he would have gotten the hint to drop the idea of instigating the conversation about earlier but he doesn't catch onto things very quickly.

"So, Quinn still seems a little weird. I tried to talk to her but she's still being a distant around me." He sounded genuinely concerned for her, which made me feel bad for brushing off the conversation so quickly, but I wanted to find Quinn.

"We'll talk later okay? I said sternly and walked right by him and started searching around the store for her. I can't believe I'm wasting my break trying to find her. I didn't even do anything wrong. If she was anyone else I would have just waited for time to make things normal again, but she was one of my only real friends I had now and I felt bad.

I found her at the back of the store stocking Neosporin on the shelf. It always blew my mind how many kinds of the same item we had. Neosporin for example, had a "normal" one, a maximum strength, and another one that was scented. Why would you contemplate between the strengths if you're injured? And who gave a fuck about the scent of it? It probably smelled shitty either way.

When I neared closer to her, my confident stride slowed and I became more nervous. I still hadn't formulated something to say to her and just decided to act natural and see how it played out.

"Hey hot stuff, need some help?"

She turned to me, a small smile forming on her lips. We were close enough that making flirty jokes to each other was all in good fun, but I'm pretty sure customers usually saw it as me coming onto her or vice-versa. Usually the old customers because they didn't know any better.

"Hey Santana, you on break now?" She asked straightforwardly. I could tell something was on her mind and it probably only got worse seeing me.

"Yeah." I didn't know what else to say to her. I could ask her how her shift has been but that seemed too force and the tension was definitely present. "Is…everything okay?"

She looked away and grabbed another item off of her cart. I knew she wanted to avoid eye contact because she just stuck it on the shelf without even checking if it went there. She sighed and turned to me, "Santana, you know how I feel about him. I hate when you're so cold towards him."

"You know I'm just joking though! He knows it too, and he didn't even look offended today." My response had a hint of sass to it and I knew I had to calm down before I said something that only made things worse.

Too late.

"Just because he didn't react doesn't mean it didn't hurt his feelings. You were like this in high school too and you know how many people you hurt back then."

My eyes widened for a minute, realizing what she was implying. We only _just_ graduated high school and here she is making me feel like I'm still the heartless bitch I was. Well, I still kind of am but there's no way in hell I'm going to admit to it. Ironic, huh?

"Don't be so dramatic! Just because you're crushing on him doesn't mean that I can't be myself around him."

"But that's exactly why!" She snapped back at me, finally making eye contact with me. A few people turned to look over and I felt the heat begin to rise to my face. This wasn't exactly going as planned. "He knows we're close friends. So if you're a complete _bitch_ to him, he'll just assume I'm fine with those things and think lowly of me. I want him to respect me, not be scared of me because my friend needs to make people feel like shit to function!"

My breath hitched in my throat when I opened my mouth to respond. I had nothing to say to her because I was in complete shock at her reaction. I've never seen her get this angry over a boy before. We weren't best friends, but we were close enough that we told each other about our love interests. Even so, I had no idea she liked Finn _this_ much.

Before I got a chance to process everything she said and respond in a complete manner that wasn't full of gaps, she wheeled her cart away and headed to the stock room. Of course I would be the one to go out of my way to make things better and only succeed in fucking it up further.

Story of my life.


	5. Now I Take a Chance On

**So since I'm still new to this website I've been having trouble replacing chapters with changes on them. First of all I use the little squiggle above the 'Tab' key to make breaks/perspective changes in the story but for some reason this website doesn't recognize that symbol and I couldn't replace it so sorry if the change from Brittany to Santana last chapter was sudden and confusing!  
**

**Also, these will get longer sorry for the previous short chapters!**

**Again thank you all for reading, it really means a lot to me. And an especially big thanks to Courtney my beta reader, she's amazing :)**

* * *

The rest of the day played out in uneasiness. I tried my best to keep the line small so I didn't have to call for a second cashier and chance Quinn coming up to the front. The last thing I wanted was to have forced eye contact with her since the second register was across from the first, main one. However, it was inevitable considering how busy we were getting. Where the fuck was Finn? I know he was around but he was probably busy chatting up his boyfriend in the stockroom or something and wouldn't bother coming up.

The line was getting long and the man in front of me was digging through his pockets to see if he had any change. I swear he took his time on purpose because the frustration was notable in the body language of the customers behind him. I broke my resolve and decided to call for a second cashier. As I reached for the phone I was shocked to see Finn's blonde life partner come up to the second register.

His name was Sam. He was cool at times but he thought very highly of himself because of his "ripped abs" or whatever he always showed off. Either he was born from a bucket of bleach or he constantly dyes his hair, which just makes me laugh because of how much of a player he tries to be around female customers or his "bro" status around his guy friends. He was dyslexic apparently, which was notable since he sometimes fumbled when he read the total amount of the purchase, but he was skilled at chatting people up so they never complained about it.

"I can help the next in line." He chirped up cheerfully, almost _too_ cheerfully, at the next customer waiting in line. I rolled my eyes when I realized why he was so excited. About ten minutes ago, five girls came in with extremely short skirts and tops that made their boobs almost spill out of their shirt. Usually I wouldn't have minded that but their valley girl voices and hyena laughs made me wanna beat the shit out of them. I didn't want to stain my work clothes though, considering how much make-up they had frosted on their faces I'd end up taking some with me if I got too close.

The girls, as if they had planned it, laughed on cue when they saw Sam and walked over to him. I knew they were going to try to flirt with him by the looks in their eyes. This line was definitely not getting shorter anytime soon.

I stared at the time clock impatiently. My shift was a half hour shorter than Quinn and Finn's so I wanted to clock out before either of them came inside the hallway and forced confrontation.

3:28

Gripping the strap of my purse I thought back about today. Only eight hours has passed but so much happened. I was happy I wasn't closing tonight so I could go home and maybe even have some night life plans.

The door to the hallway beeped and my eyes shot open. I turned and looked at it, hoping it wasn't anyone I didn't want to see. I felt like a deer in headlights as the door swung open, but it was only an appropriate feeling since I was blinded by bright blonde.

"Hey, you off already!"

"In a few minutes I will be"

"Aw, lucky you."

"Yeah I guess so."

He approached the time clock and entered his code quickly - I assumed it was time for his lunch. Whenever he's with Finn his arrogance doubles or even triples, but when it's just one on one, he's tolerable. I took this opportunity to try to gather some information from him.

"So Sam, did Finn say anything about Quinn today?" I thought that since they were such close friends, they would share personal thoughts and feelings with each other about their 'girl problems.'

He looked at me curiously and raised his eyebrow. A silence took over and I realized that he wanted me to elaborate. It made me uneasy knowing that there probably were a few things Finn has said about Quinn and he wanted me to be more specific. I was getting more curious as the silence continued, our eyes locked onto each other. He was the only other person I've met, other than my grandmother, who was able to intimidate people with his eyes. We were having a silent battle between our gazes but I knew this wasn't one I was going to win because I had a goal to obtain.

"You gonna talk or just stare at me?" I suddenly snapped at him, why wasn't he answering me? It was a simple question.

He was taken aback by my sudden change in emotion and looked off to the side, curling his lower lips under his teeth in thought. I crossed my arms and exhaled in a loud, exaggerated tone. That did the trick since he finally looked back to me and answered, "Maybe that's something you should talk to Finn about? I'm not gonna play telephone between you two."

My eyes narrowed, if glares could kill. I couldn't believe what he said to me. He had the most pompous attitude I've ever seen, and that's coming from _me_.

"Whatever. I guess you and your stupid "bro code" are more important than someone's own well being." I said to Sam, attacking him with my vicious tone.

"What's up with you Santana? Is this that big of a deal? Maybe you should mind your own business, this doesn't even involve you." Sam said as he took a step toward me. My eyes flicked up his body for a moment before I mirrored his movement. We were a few feet apart now but didn't approach each other any closer, as if our tension was creating a barrier between us.

I rolled my eyes and realized that this wasn't getting anywhere, "Forget I said anything." I scoffed and stormed out the hallway, letting the door slam behind me. I froze right outside the door. I had forgotten to punch out on the time clock. _Shit._ Half-turning towards the door behind me, I inched my fingers for the door code but stopped before I hit any buttons. I always let my pride get the better of me. There was no way I was going to storm out, and then slither back in while he was still in there. It was almost like giving in, and I never wanted to show weakness around people like Sam.

Walking toward the exit, I saw that Finn was up front again. He was behind the counter reading a magazine on the side of the counter where the camera doesn't see. I was surprised the managers never figured it out.

"You leaving already?" Finn chimed up when he saw me walk by. I stopped right before I reached the exit, disappointing running through me as my hidden escape was cut short. I wasn't exactly incognito though, considering the fact that my keys jingled every time I took a step. Turning to face him, I nodded in an effort to convey my reluctance to any conversation. I was still riled up from mine with Sam, and Finn still never caught onto the obvious.

"Oh okay. I um.." He paused and looked down. He either hadn't planned what he wanted to ask me or he was nervous, and judging by his body language I assumed it was both. "Can you tell Quinn I'm sorry for whatever I did? She still hasn't spoken to me all day and usually she's always so talkative."

I furrowed my brows at him and took a step forward to the counter. It was nice to know that I still had the power of intimidation even when I wasn't feeling very fierce because Finn immediately backed up as I narrowed the gap. "You've got a brain Finn, and a mouth. Why don't you tell her yourself? I'm not going to play telephone between you two." I said coldly. His reaction was probably worth waiting for, but I was so bubbled up with rage from the past sequence of events that I wanted to just leave. It wasn't until I was out the door that I realized I had regurgitated the same words Sam used on me in the hallway.

Maybe I was no better than Sam.

.~

Later that night I was in front of my computer filing through my e-mail. It wasn't the most successful clean-up because I had facebook open in the other tab and that one was getting a little more attention. My parents were out to dinner, a routine they did every so often to try to rekindle their love or something. I know that wasn't the reason but when you're that old, was there any other reason to?

I closed my laptop and sighed loudly. Seeing all the status updates of where everyone was and what they were doing were only making me feel more alone. I was popular in high school and had a lot of friends, but they either left for college already or didn't talk to me much. I never befriended anyone a grade younger than me because it would hurt my reputation, so I had very few friends from high school that I still see on a regular basis.

Pulling out my phone, I picked the first name that came to mind when I needed someone to hang out with. I hit the dial button and listened to the ringing while staring at my ceiling.

"You've reached Mercedes Jones, I'm not here right now-"

_Click._

I put my phone down and sighed. Of course she wasn't available, it was eight thirty on a Friday night and everyone who wanted to do anything remotely fun was already out. I checked through my phone one more time, as if the more I scrolled the more names would appear in my address book.

I got out of bed, put on my sneakers and sweats and went outside. It was a beautiful night out, which was just another thing to add to the list of reasons why summer was amazing. Other than the fact that there was no school, summer nights were never too hot or too cold here in Lima. The weather was always perfect and I didn't take advantage of it enough.

I walked down my street and stared up at the sky. There were few visible stars since my street had so many streetlights that towered over me and sucked the life from the night. My mind played back the events of earlier and it only frustrated me to realize how many times I let my own hesitation ruin a chance at figuring out something. I froze while talking to Quinn, Sam, and Brittany. _Brittany._

A smile curled up on my face at the thought of her and my train of thought took a detour to venture into happier memories. Thinking of seeing her earlier made my mind race. I swear my heart could win a track meet from how fast it went from zero to a hundred miles an hour at the trigger of Brittany's smile. I've had relationships in the past, but it they were all with boys and I didn't have any deep connection to them. They all played the same game with me - just some were more clever with how they moved their pieces. It wasn't until the end of senior year that I started to get infatuated with girls.

My mind stopped wandering when I realized that I had reached the Seven Eleven near my house. I was about to head in and buy some cigarettes to ease my mind when I saw someone sitting outside. My eyes widened and my heart immediately sped up. Before I knew I even had time to get into started position, the trigger was pulled.

"Hey!"

"Uh..erm, hey!"

Brittany's smile grew even wider than when she initially saw me as she stood up and approached me. "Whatcha doin here?" Her voice was so soothing and sweet. No matter what she said it always sounded softer when the words exited through the valley of her smile. It made my mind shut off and my heart take over, which always ended up in me looking stupid.

"I was just…buying some dinner." I responded immediately with a surprisingly complete sentence. I wanted to slap myself for retreating to food as my excuse.

She must have read through my expression because she just laughed for a moment and said, "From _here?_" and pointed to the Seven Eleven as if it were the most ridiculous concept. It kind of was, but it was better than "um"s and "er"s.

Her laugh calmed me down a little more because of how infectious it was and I gained a confidence I didn't know was possible in this situation, "Well yeah! Have you had their hot dogs! They may have been out on that rotating grill all day, or even a few weeks, but they're still damn delicious!"

She tilted her head back and let out a snort, followed by another laugh.

Did she really snort? Oh my god.

"Right! Well anyway, I'm just waiting for someone to come pick me up from here." She said as she gestured to the place she was sitting. There was an Arizona can and a box of cookies next to the rest of her things. I couldn't help but smile since she bought those from my store and I looked at her. Even during night, her eyes still illuminated a beautiful shade of blue. They looked different than they did this morning - the blue was more gentle and soft. A part of me was looking forward to seeing all the different patterns and colors her eyes held captive until the right time and place.

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked back at her items on the floor since it was a little nice distraction from her mesmerizing orbs, _both_ sets of orbs actually but her eyes were the ones that caught me off guard yet again today, "So wait, did someone just abandon you here? I know you bought some food today but I don't know how long that'll last you, no matter how big those cans are. And I thought _my_ dinner choice was bad." I smirked and was happy that we had a normal conversation going, as well as my own hint of spicy humor added to it.

Brittany shook her head and laughed at my remark to her. I swear this girl either loved to laugh, or I was just that damn funny, and I don't see myself booking any comedy gigs. She looked out to the street and back at me before she answered, "No I'm not abandoned don't worry. I just have a place nearby that I go to get work done. I'm a little more productive there than I am at home."

Before I had time to respond to it, she looked back at the street again and locked her eyes onto something. I turned my head and saw a car pull into the parking lot and stop right beside us.

"Come on Britt! We were supposed to be there an hour ago!" yelled a male voice from the driver's seat. I couldn't see what he looked like because of how dark it was, but he didn't sound threatening or rude when he called her. He was calm and sweet in his tone, which irked me to think that this was possibly her boyfriend.

She turned around to grab her things and then looked at me before she headed for the car, "Sorry but I gotta go! I'll see you around?"

My heart sank a little because I didn't want this encounter to end. Everything was going well and I felt like I was making up for my awkward conversation with her this morning. I didn't want to lose an opportunity to have my questions answered though. I hated not feeling in control.

"Hey wait!" I called to Brittany before she opened the car door.

She turned to me and tilted her head in confusion with all of her items balanced perfectly in her arms, being a waitress probably helped master skills like that.

My heart started pounding again and I felt my face grow warm. The night's darkness masked my blush and I knew I had to ask her.

"How...did you know my name?"

She looked to the side for a moment in thought and then perked up with a reply.

"Brittany"

"What?"

"You know my name is Brittany, right?"

I froze. How did she know that I knew? I felt like I was stuck between two choices that I was going to inevitably regret. I didn't want to be honest because that seemed so creepy, but if I said no then I might ruin a chance at the start of something forming between us.

"Then it's not that weird, right?" She said with a nod and hopped into the car and closed the door. The car drove off before I even had a chance to process a response to her witty, yet concealed response.

She beat me at my own game.


	6. Started to Black Out

**New update! I got a lot of messages on tumblr complimenting me so thank YOU so much for taking time to read the story :)  
**

**As always, big shout out to my beta reader Courtney :)**

* * *

"So who was that?" Matt asked curiously after they pulled out of the Seven Eleven.

Brittany took a sip of her Arizona and played around with the flaps of her bag, delaying her response on purpose.

The car came to a stop at a red light. Matt turned to face Brittany and raised an eyebrow at her, "Britt? Did you hear me?"

"Yes I did." She replied, her grin growing across her face as Matt's anticipation grew with every second. She finally turned and locked eyes with him, "Santana."

"What! Are you serious!" Matt practically yelled at her. "Why didn't you say so when I got there! Should I turn around!" He looked over his shoulder to see if he had a chance of getting into the left lane.

"Matt! No, the light's green just go!" Brittany said while she slapped Matt's shoulder with her cookie box to get his attention. He grabbed it from her and snatched two cookies out from it, eating them while releasing the break and pulling through the intersection.

"Those were mine!" Brittany said with a pout across her face.

Matt tried to answer but his mouth was completely full and he ended up spitting cookie crumbs all over his dashboard.

"Ew Matt what the hell! Swallow first, that's so gross!" Brittany shrieked while covering her face to avoid any crumbs plummeting her way.

He forcefully swallowed the contents of his mouth and cranked up the volume on the radio, gesturing to his ear with his finger and mouthing the words _I can't hear you._

Brittany rolled her eyes and started dancing in the car to the music. She rolled her body to the beat of the song and ignored Matt's efforts to stop her from distracting him.

Dancing was Brittany's forte. She expressed more than power and rhythm through her moves, but she _spoke_ through her every turn, pivot, and spin. Her escape from the world and reel back into reality always included dancing - it was her own form of expression.

Matt turned down the volume and clapped his hands, "Come on girl, save it for the party!"

"Be lucky! You're getting the preview" She winked and threw her arms to the side and thrust her chest forward to the beat.

.~

_Flick._

I lit my cigarette with a match because I had forgotten my lighter at home. I was about to inhale when my phone started to buzz in my pocket. It startled me because of how loud it was compared to the quiet of the night. Looking at the caller id, I smiled and put it up to my ear answering, "Hey bitch, about time!"

"What are you doing now!" a powerful voice practically yelled through the phone. It caused me to flinch and move it away from my ear before slowly pulling it back to my face. She always needed to belt whatever she said, probably because she loved sing and had an amazing voice, but that was still no excuse for deafening me.

"Mercedes why are you yelling! Are you driving?" I asked with a little concern trailing my words. You know how sometimes you think of things when you're alone and come up with ideas? Mercedes was quite the master of that, but she always ended up driving when the revelations came. I swear, if she doesn't get into an accident I'm going to beat her up myself.

"Yeah, look a friend of mine invited me to his party tonight. It already started but its okay if we get there late. If I get to your place in twenty minutes will you be ready?"

I pondered at the idea for a moment while looking off into the sky. I was thinking of just hanging outside for the night and head home to sleep after, but something felt different about tonight - probably because of my encounter with Brittany. If I could manage to speak with her and make her laugh, then maybe tonight had more to offer.

"Sure, I'll be ready in thirty though." I said and hung up when I heard her yelling at a car that I'm assuming cut her off. She'd get the hint when she got to my house.

.~

_Honk._

Oh my god.

_Honk. Honk._

I quickly threw on my heels and snatched my purse off my desk. One last glance at myself in the mirror and I smiled. I had a slim-fitting red dress on, my hair was down, and my lips were glazed over with a shiny red lipstick. I looked hot, red was definitely my color.

I locked my door and headed for Mercedes car but not without her honking again. I rolled my eyes and hurried in.

"Damn it Lopez, what took you so long? Did you have to iron out your weave?"

"You're one to talk, did you snatch that one from Beyonce?"

She laughed and put the car in drive, turning back onto the street. Mercedes was quite a beautiful woman in every sense of the word. She had a great personality, amazing curves, and really cared for people close to her. We went to high school together and ended up bonding at a party when I threw up so much that she ended up driving me home. She was a part of the show choir club and I was a cheerleader so it seemed crazy that we'd storm down the halls together, but we were fierce.

"How was work?" She asked me, biting back a smile. She knew how much I _hated_ my job, I don't think there was a single story or situation I haven't ranted to her over the phone about. We were close, but she didn't know about my situation with Brittany.

"It was okay." I said and looked down remembering Quinn. I felt so bad for what happened and that I hadn't gotten closure with her yet.

Mercedes looked at me and then back at the road. That was all it took for her to completely see through me and read my emotions. "So, have you talked to Quinn yet?"

My eyes widened for a moment and then slumped back down, a frown appearing on my face. I wish we could have come to an agreement to not talk about it but that's not how Mercedes functioned. She didn't wait for time to heal wounds, she was the one who swatted alcohol on it whether you were ready or not.

Before I could answer, she made a sudden right turn on the street we were about to pass and pulled out her phone.

I had to grab onto the handle on the door to keep myself from slamming my side into the middle console of the car. Looking at her confused, "Mercedes, what the hell are you doing?"

"Calling Quinn" She answered with an evil smirk on her face.

I slapped my hand up to grab her phone and she pulled it away. I knew she was going to do something like this if I didn't answer how she wanted me to. I should have just lied and said everything was fine, but she would have known if I lied. She knew me too well.

"What the fuck Mercedes!" I yelled, riled up, and I slapped my hand toward her phone again, the motion caused my dress to catch on the seat belt strap and pull down a little bit.

Mercedes laughed and pushed me back against the seat with her "free" hand - the one she held the wheel with. "Whoa, San you gotta pull your shirt up, we were about to have some serious boobage up in here."

I smiled a genuine smile. She always knew what to say to calm me down and ignore my flared up anger. I leaned back and winked.

"Be happy you're lucky enough to get the preview."

.~

The house the party was on was noticeable from the main road way before you got to the street it was on. There were a lot of people walking toward it with brown bags and driving down the road, speeding toward the place with the music that was louder than their own.

We passed the house and parked onto the street a block over for safety measures. I readied myself, knowing that I would have to face Quinn now and not just hide from her in the safety of the front seat. Mercedes was the kind of person who could have a conversation with ten people at once with how loud her voice was and how her friendly personality radiated off of her. It made the situation less awkward with Quinn sitting right behind me. I had to avoid the side mirror at all costs to avoid any eye contact with her.

We all stepped out of the car and fixed ourselves up last minute. I wasn't planning on doing anything crazy because I worked tomorrow, but I was still going to have a lot of fun.

Mercedes opened her trunk and judging by the clanking sound, I assumed she grabbed alcohol. She smiled at us as she placed the six pack on the top of her car. "Okay ladies, two each and I've got some more in the back if it's not enough for you."

"Why did you buy alcohol?" I asked her curiously. We were going to a party, and a popular one by the looks of it. They probably had enough alcohol to kill off everybody's' livers.

"Because Santana needs her sprite." Mercedes said with her lips tucked into her mouth, trying to hide her pent in laughter. I stared at her dumbfounded when I heard a voice chime in I didn't expect to talk to me so soon.

"You probably don't remember do you?" Quinn said surprisingly cheerfully. She wasn't smiling like Mercedes was, but just the fact that she was talking to me made my ease up a little. "Remember Puck's party?"

I stared off to the side and pondered back to Puck's party. It was two weeks ago and my mouth curved to a smile remembering how insane that party got. He was pretty laid back at work, but when he had a few drinks in him Puck was a party animal.

Finally meeting Quinn's gaze, I shook my head. I remember a lot of crazy things had happened – I still can't find my favorite laced bra – but nothing revolving around sprite.

Mercedes shook her head and smiled handing me a bottle. "You'll probably remember, but for now, _drink!_ Who knows how long 'til a cop busts in on this party and I don't want to get in trouble for giving drinks to minors."

I scoffed at her, taking the bottle and opening it. "You're one to talk, you're only a year older than us."

"A year only yeah, but in the real world there is a huge difference between eighteen and seventeen." She handed Quinn a bottle. Quinn took it and opened it, gulping half of it down in one sip. I hope she wasn't planning on getting too trashed tonight.

I took a tip and a spark ignited in my mind. I smiled at Mercedes and started cracking up laughing, spilling some of my drink while I did it. "OH! _This_ 'sprite' is what you meant." I said, remembering the sweet lemon-lime taste in my mouth.

At Puck's party's I got so drunk that I wanted to try drinking other liquids to balance myself out, it sounded more logical at the time. I grabbed the bottle because it caught my eye first thing in the fridge when I opened it. I chugged some of it and since it tasted like soda, I thought it was sprite. The rest of the night played out in finishing three of the 'sprites' and waking up in Mercedes' room with a pounding headache.

When we finished drinking all the illegal liquids behind her car, Mercedes led the way to the house. We arrived and I already felt the combination of the different percentage levels dancing around in my brain a little. I was only tipsy now, but that wasn't going to last long.

Mercedes walked in and her smile extended to the fullest I've seen it in a while. Usually it's just a simple smile and her voice makes up for echoing her emotions properly, which only meant one thing – she saw someone she liked.

"Hey Mercedes!" called a boy whose voice was so familiar to me. I turned to look at him and was puzzled when I didn't recognize his face. Maybe because the alcohol was sinking in slowly, but I was still aware enough to know that I've heard him before.

"Matt!" She smiled and ran up to him hugging him. She laughed out loud, one of those hyena laughs I love so much, and gestured to Quinn and me, "These are my friends Santana and Quinn. They're pretty cool bitches, like seriously. Even though they're not talking now 'cause they can't drop their grudges."

I felt a little embarrassed and looked at Quinn, who shared the same feeling as me since she was looking to the side and watching some people dancing in the living room where the music was blaring from.

When I looked forward again to greet Mercedes' friend, I noticed that his eyes were already completely locked onto me. Was he checking me out? A smile slithered onto his face and he walked forward, sticking out his hand. "Hi, I'm um…I'm Matt. Nice to meet you!"

"Likewise" I responded, taking his hand. The more I listened to him the more irritated I got with the fact I couldn't recognize who he was. I decided to drop the contemplation as I let go of his hand. Mercedes latched onto his arm and smiled at us widely. She always got really happy when she was drunk, and when she spotted a cute boy she instantly clung to them. Matt was cute, but he wasn't really my type, and there was no way I would ever try to go after a guy that Mercedes was remotely interested in. She may be talented at breaking the ice and ending tension, but when she got angry your feelings were the last things you should be worried about – unless of course we were talking about the feelings in your legs.

Quinn was gone when I turned to look at her again. Where did she run off to? This party was a crazy mess and I was really started to feel the effects of my sprite. I decided I was going to find Quinn, "Hey I'm gonna go find Quinn, I'll be back okay?"

Matt looked disappointed right as I said that, but nodded and a smile appeared on his face again. "Don't run off too far now!" he said with a wink.

I raised my eyebrow and tilted my head. I was going to say something but Mercedes was already pulling him back to a group that I assumed were people she knew. I didn't recognize any of them and didn't really care to get to know them.

Walking around, I tried to find any traces of Quinn in the crowd of dancing and screaming people. Once I reached the kitchen, my hand gripped the wall. It was getting harder to walk in my heels and I regretting chugging down that bottle of wine Mercedes insisted tasted like warm sugar. Not only was it disgusting, but it was so thick that I felt like puking right after I downed it.

I found stairs and climbed them at a quick pace, avoiding the couples that were making out on the railing and throwing each other back onto the wall. I had to push few a few people to get to the top and sighed when my feet planted on the second floor. It wasn't nearly as crowded but I had a feeling that Quinn was most likely up here. Walking down the hall I saw that the bathroom was occupied and decided to check there first.

_Knock._

I knocked once and waited for someone to respond. There was a good chance people were puking in there but even a grunt was enough for me to know if it was Quinn or not.

_Knock._

I knocked harder this time and called, "Anyone in here!" I couldn't tell if I was actually knocking as hard as I felt like I was, but my voice was loud enough for someone to hear me. There was giggling going on inside and I rolled my eyes at the thought of what was possibly going on in there. I raised my hand to knock on the door right as it burst open. My mouth dropped and my heart fell right into my stomach.

Brittany emerged from the bathroom giggling and holding someone's hand. A girl's hand.

"Sorry!" She said as she looked up at me. Her pupils were completely dilated and she had a smile on her face that seemed cemented on. Her hair was tossed in a lazy ponytail and her clothes looked like they were slightly drenched – but she still looked as gorgeous as ever. "Oh! Hey!" She chirped up when she realized who I was. Her friend also shared a large grin on her face. She was an Asian girl with long black hair that had bright green extensions scattered around and makeup that was very dark and intense. She looked a little scary when she stood side by side with Brittany's pure and glowing face.

The girl walked right by me holding a bag in her hand and tugged Brittany along with her, causing Brittany to crash into me. I held onto her and planted my right foot behind me to balance both of us. I immediately wished that I hadn't had anything before the party so I could completely feel how she felt against me. She was wearing a tank-top and shorts so when I caught her, I grabbed onto her bare arms and felt her legs graze mine. It made my heart flutter to feel her in my arms.

Before I had time to fully register that she was in my arms, she leaned off me and was pulled off by her friend.

"See ya San!"

I smiled a she walked away. I didn't care that she was completely drunk, but the fact that she used a nickname on me was more than enough to make my night.

I shook myself out of my trance and continued on my quest to find Quinn. There seemed to be something going on downstairs because a lot of people headed past me to head down the stairs in excitement. There was a bedroom with its door closed and I figured I would check there. I stopped for a moment and breathed in slowly. My vision was getting blurrier every so often and I wanted to sit down but I needed to find Quinn. I started to worry a little because we were usually attached at the hip at parties and when we separated it was for a short period of time.

I let go of the wall and grabbed the handle of the door. Right when I was about to turn the handle, I heard noises on the other side of the door. Quinn.

I panicked and turned the handle, throwing the door open and was going to rush in to search the room but froze. My eyes fixated on what was going on in the middle of the room.

Maybe I should have stayed downstairs.


	7. This Thing We May Have Started

**Sorry for the delay in putting this chapter up! I was busy with finals and such but it's finally summer which means, quick updates yaaay!**

**Always a big thank you to my beta Courtney :)**

* * *

I wanted to slam the door closed and go downstairs in an attempt to erase the image that was etched into my brain but I knew it would take a lot more than diverting my eyes.

There was Quinn, lying on the bed underneath someone. Their lips were darting at each other hungrily. Her shirt was halfway off and the man above her lifted himself from her to remove his own shirt.

"Sam! Get the fuck off of her!" I screamed and I swear I had completely sobered up, now fully enraged with hate.

Both he and Quinn broke apart from each other turned to look at me quickly. Sam's appearance went from shocked to calm and a smile inched over his face. His hair was a mess and from the look in his eyes I knew he was plastered. Before he had a chance to even say anything, I was already across the room and shoved him off of her.

"Santana, what the fuck are you doing?" Quinn yelled, pulling her shirt down as she turned to hang her legs over the bed. Her face was completely flushed red, but I was so god damn thankful that she still had her skirt on, it looks like I made it just in time.

I ignored Sam for a moment, who was trying to keep himself from falling off the bed, and shot a glare at Quinn, "Stopping you from making a _really_ stupid mistake."

She rolled her eyes and that only served to fuel the fire that burned inside of me, creeping up my throat and made it difficult for me to articulate everything I wanted to say, "Finn!...you like...why Sam?"

"He doesn't like me!" Quinn yelled as she stood up and faced me, her face only inches from mine. I could feel her rage through her deep exhales and I knew she was just as angry as I was.

"You're not my mother Santana, I can do whatever I want okay!" She said slowly, but with enough bite to hitch fear into me for a moment. I couldn't let her do this to herself though, she's my friend and this wasn't right.

"Yeah you can do whatever you want Quinn, but that doesn't mean I'm going to sit back and let you make mistakes that you're going to regret!" I spewed my venom at her. I wanted it to burn her skin so she would understand what she was doing, but she was just as stubborn as I am.

She smirked and moved her head right next to my ear. My body stilled and even the sounds of the music pounding below was tuned out as all my senses were focused on Quinn's breath against my ear.

She whispered, but just low enough that it was barely audible, "I think _you_ of all people would understand that drunken sex happens."

I felt my heart sink and my body shiver at her words. Before I knew what I was doing, my anger working five steps ahead of my brain, I had slapped Quinn across the face and shoved her back, ramming her into the wall. Her eyes shot closed at the impact, but she was quick to move and push me down onto the floor. I quickly turned when she lunged down at me and spun around, wrapping my leg around her and pinning her arms down. I wanted to punch her in the face and beat the arrogance out of her but I knew I needed to stop myself.

She struggled against my grip and then calmed down, exhaling slowly and looked up at me. I figured she was about to give up and admit that what she had done was wrong but that was just wishful thinking at this point. She wasn't very drunk but Quinn had a reputation for becoming a bitch when she drank, even more of a bitch than I am.

"Oh, doesn't this look familiar?" She said with a smirk on her face. It wasn't a devilish smirk though and it faded just as quickly as it came. It was as if her own body acted before her mind had time to process the damage she was doing. She and I were always so similar.

My eyes went wide and my grip on her arms tightened, my nails digging into her skin. I couldn't believe she dug into my heart and pulled out a memory I wanted to forget.

"Fuck you Quinn." I yelled with anger that burned through my vocal chords. "Don't come back to me when he knocks you up!" when I said this, my voice was more quiet and sharp, and right then I knew I stabbed into a fragile wound that wasn't going to stop oozing. What came out wasn't blood though, it was tears. I looked down at her soaked face when Sam had grabbed a hold of my arms and pulled me off of her.

"What the fuck Santana, back off alright!" He said to me in an aggressive tone. I turned around and pulled myself out of Sam's grip. I knew that I had enough anger to do some real damage to him, but I decided to hold back against anymore fighting.

Turning, I stormed out of the room and didn't even bother to make sure Sam wasn't trying to make another pass at Quinn. I didn't even care.

Downstairs, there was a dance off in the middle of the living room where the music pounded from. I leaned against the wall and just watched as everyone circled around and cheered at the people who were center stage. I couldn't see who they were but judging by the yelling, they were probably pretty damn good.

I wanted to find Mercedes and just leave Quinn behind, but I knew Mercedes and she wouldn't have that. She was probably off with that Matt guy anyway doing god knows what.

"Yeah girl go!"

"Do you see that!"

"Oh my god she's amazing!"

My ears perked up when I realized that there was a girl in this dance battle. Usually dancing at parties I've seen are two guys break-dancing or doing something ridiculous while the girls are too drunk to do anything other than grind. But it sounded like someone was legitimately trying and I was interested.

I pushed through the crowd and I was shocked to see the girl who was dancing, no – _living_ through the music.

There was Brittany, dancing to the beat of the fast-paced song and just enjoying herself as she hit each beat on time and even added her own spicy flavor to the mix. I knew she was beautiful but she was godly when she danced. I was happy there was a crowd so my leering was acceptable, but it didn't even feel like leering now, just appreciating.

When she finished her freestyle the guy who was dancing against her was about to go but stopped when the music cut off. Yells and groaning from all the drunken audience filled the sudden silence and Matt stood on a table above us.

"I know this isn't everyone who's here but you all need to get out _now!_ Someone called the cops on us and they're apparently on my street so get your shit and leave!" He yelled and as if a bomb had gone off, everyone started yelling and scrambling to grab their possessions as they were leaving. Most of the time people took their time leaving, but the urgency in Matt's voice made me worry that there was something seriously wrong.

I contemplated getting Quinn and shook off my indecision. She was my friend and there's no way I'm abandoning her, no matter how hurtful she was to me. As I turned to shove by some people and head for the stairs, a hand grabbed my arm. I turned and saw Matt holding my arm and smiling at me lightly, completely challenging his furious face just moments ago.

I looked confused at him and he just pulled me gently, leading me to the kitchen that was cleared out now. There were still a lot of people running around to help the ones who passed out but no one was near us other than Mercedes, who was leaning against the counter holding her head.

"What's…going on?" I asked with an eyebrow raise, confused by the situation. It was good to see Mercedes again, even if she occupied herself with other people the entire time.

"No cops" Matt said with a smug look. I was even more confused at this point. We were only at this party for about twenty minutes so what was the point of calling it off?

My confusion must have been blatantly visible on my face because Matt suddenly decided to attempt an explanation, "I like more low key parties."

What the fuck?

I barely knew this guy, but I knew for a fact that he was lying right to my face. I was about to start drilling him with questions but just then someone came into the kitchen.

"And that's the last of 'em!" Brittany chimed happily as she walked towards us.

I immediately looked away so I wouldn't get lost in her eyes. _Shit_. She didn't leave? Is she in on this too? I looked to Mercedes to try to gather some assistance but she just had her head leaned up against the cupboard and her eyes were closed.

"Good, did you make sure no one is upstairs too Britt?"

My heart sank a little to hear him use a nickname on her. This guy was definitely her boyfriend. Wait, his voice. Matt's voice is exactly the same as the guy who picked up Brittany earlier. My mind was racing with so many thoughts and I just wanted to have some answers and the pounding in my head to go away.

"Yep! No one's around but us." She said and looked at me. Oh my god, I wish she wouldn't stare right at me, I was actually getting nervous. "What're the chances we'd be going to the same place huh?" She sounded so sweet when she spoke to me.

I looked at her and smiled, it was the first time tonight that I felt warm since the encounter at Seven Eleven. I wondered if this warmth was only something she could bring me, as if her own loving and happy self transferred a little of that joy into me through her eyes whenever she looked at me. I don't know if I'm being a sap or still slightly drunk, but I haven't been more honest.

"Yeah that's what I thought too." I had all my attention on her and almost forgot that Matt was there until he budded into our conversation, something I'm guessing that he loved to do.

"I could have given you a ride if I knew you were coming! I'm sorry we left in such a rush, it's just that I had to go grab some more booze and pick up this one here," he pointed to Brittany and nudged her on the shoulder, "before any of the guests had time to trash my house."

Finally getting some answered, I nodded at him and looked down at the island in the kitchen. I didn't really take in how huge and fancy his house was, it was really beautiful, especially without the cluster of people throwing around cans and bottles.

My head perked up when I remembered something Brittany had said, "Wait Brittany," I turned to her and almost choked on my words realizing this was the first time I addressed her by her name, "There wasn't anyone upstairs? No passed out blonde-haired girl or gigantic lipped boy?"

She looked at me a little confused and shook her head. There was a silence and I knew that I must have something they didn't expect. I decided to ask some more questions, despite the reaction I got because I just needed answers, "So why did you call off the party early then?"

Another silence. Was I really drunk and not saying what I thought I was? I knew I was sobered up because if I were completely wasted I would be crying hysterically, or at least that's what others have told me I was like. Matt stepped forward and I turned my attention to him, "Well...I thought that since-"

"Cause we didn't want to continue having fun if you were going to just beat people up all night."

I was shocked to hear Mercedes interject. I assumed that her eyes being shut and her silence meant she was tired or feeling ill, but I didn't realize she was just figuring out how to approach me with her newfound anger.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I hated being singled out like this. I didn't do anything wrong, I spent the entire time trying to find Quinn.

"I'm talking about the fact you beat Quinn up. Santana I know you and her were fighting, but did you have to put your hands on her and make her cry?"

All eyes were on me and I realized that this was all about now. Sam misinterpreted what happened in the worst fucking way possible. When he saw me on top of her he probably thought that her crying was because I had assaulted her and she had given up trying to fight back.

What I hated the most out of this was the shock and horror that grew on Brittany's face when she heard Mercedes. She was probably dancing when Sam 'confessed' to Mercedes and most likely took Quinn with him. I was hearing this story and living through the initial pain of it at the same time as Brittany. I hated that not only was this all a complete lie, but the look on Brittany's face was caused by her new opinion of me. I wanted to hide myself away from the judgmental looks I was getting from them all. I didn't even know Matt until tonight but he looked just as disappointed in me.

I wasn't going to let this happen to me again. I already had people judge me on a horrible accusation in the past and I wasn't going to relive that.

"This is complete bullshit Mercedes and you know it! You wanna know what _really_ went down? Quinn was going to have sex with Sam and I just went in and stopped them. He lied to get away with it." I was fuming with rage again.

"Then why was she crying?" Mercedes asked, but she wasn't yelling this time, which meant she might start to believe me now.

"Because she brought up what happened at that party last year and I brought up her…"

Mercedes sighed and shook her head as I trailed off because she knew exactly where I was going with this. "Santana…"

"Don't, okay?" I snapped back at her, "Listen, I didn't hurt her." I felt hot from the pain in my head and the pain growing in my throat. I needed some air.

Turning from the sets of curious eyes, I headed for the sliding glass door that led to the backyard. I just needed some time to think.

Once I got outside I felt a rush of relief from the cold air brushing over my skin. There were cans of beer scattered everywhere and some furniture was even out here and damaged. I made my way for a sofa that was slightly stained and sat on it, exhaling as I relaxed myself into the seat and pressed my back against it. Closing my eyes, I thought I was going to drift into sleep when I felt the couch sink for a moment, I darted my eyes quickly to the side and in a moment my entire body was at ease.

Brittany was sitting next to me and I was completely lost in her eyes yet again. I felt more able to look back at her, something about the setting didn't make gazing feel as weird or awkward. The silence was comfortable and soothing, but not as soothing as her voice when it broke through.

"Everything okay?"

I looked down immediately and sighed slowly, shaking my head, "I wish everything was honestly. You all probably think I'm some crazy person now."

"I don't" she said in a straightforward tone, but it was convincing.

It made me feel more relaxed to know that she didn't think so lowly of me, even after hearing all that and seeing me at my worst, "Well your boyfriend definitely thinks I am."

"Boyfriend? Oh, you don't mean Matt do you?" She said with a small chuckle. She wasn't her usually upbeat and giggly self, but instead she was gentle and calm with me, which was exactly what I needed.

"Yeah, I mean he picked you up and, I dunno he just seemed like it." I suddenly felt awkward inquiring her further about this.

"Everyone thinks that." She said and turned to look at me, even though my eyes were still fixated on the ground. "But you've definitely got eyes on you."

I turned to her suddenly and she winked at me. My face warmed from my blush and I had to replay what she said a few times until it sank in. Did she mean _her_? Of course not, she was talking about Matt. But why didn't she just say Matt instead of having it be so open ended? She shuffled a little in her spot when I didn't respond and looked up at the sky.

"So how do you know Matt?" I decided to try to continue the conversation a little more. I was surprised that she was sitting with me still, or that she came out here in the first place rather than Mercedes.

"He works with me." She said, still looking up at the sky, "Mercedes used to work with us too apparently. She quit before I started working though."

I gasped a little, thinking back to my senior year. I remember Mercedes telling me that she got a part-time job as a part of an assignment in her Glee club, something I still don't quite understand but I never questioned it. She didn't work there long but it explained how Mercedes knew Matt.

I wanted to keep asking her questions and talking to her but I still felt nervous. We weren't really friends, we were just people who kept accidentally running into each other. Having this many coincidences didn't seem like chance to me at this point, it felt like more. I really liked her and getting to know her only made my desire grow.

"Well I better get going, I have work tomorrow morning." She said as she put her hands on her knees and pushed herself up.

I groaned and slumped against the couch, "Same here, ugh I don't wanna go."

"But who will help out all the customers in need?" She asked with a shocked look and her hands in front of her mouth dramatically. I laughed loudly and tilted my head back, "Fuck them! They can steal everything for all I care."

"I think you secretly love your job." She teased at me

"Oh whatever!" I said in a joking tone, "I love it as much as you probably love flipping pancakes."

"I don't make the food I just serve it, and I get those flipped pancakes for free."

"Oh so you got the hookup?"

"Mhmm, but I can't share my luxuries with anyone - I run a tight business here."

"Name your price please, I'm in need!"

"Your lovely discount?"

"Oh yeah, nothings better than that fifteen percent off of shit you don't need."

"Then I'm sorry but you're gonna have to try again another day, ma'm. Your tone isn't very convincing for this business deal."

I couldn't continue and laughed, breaking our back and forth of ridiculous comebacks. Brittany laughed right when I did and wiped her eye.

She stuck her hand out towards me, "Okay, let's get going."

I stared at her hand for a moment and felt the nerves sink in slowly but I had to fight my insecurities away because this was all going so well.

"Whatever you say Ms. Pancakes." I said while grabbing her hand as she pulled me up off the couch. I didn't want to let go of her hand - it felt so soft against my skin. When she pulled away and turned I was about to give up this ridiculous crush when she suddenly spun around.

"Hey, can I get your number?"


	8. It's All Adding Up to Something

__**Hello and thank you all for reading yet again :)! I have the next part ready already so it'll also be up by tomorrow! Enjoy and as always a big thank you to Courtney. She's quite amazing**

* * *

_So were your parents suspicious at all this morning?_

_LOL yeah! It totally sucked too. My parents thought I was just at a sleepover so I had to disguise my hangover, they're kinda oblivious so it's okay_

_Lucky! My mom could smell the alcohol all over me when I got home. They don't really care too much but they teased me because they knew I worked today. I wanna go home alreadyyy_

_But the customers! They need you :D_

_Like hell, what I need is some fine dining! _

_What time is your lunch? Ms. Pancakes over here can probably hook you up with some high class meals :P_

_Like pancakes AND bacon? I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. My lunch is at seven, think you'll have your break by then?_

_My managers are really relaxed with break schedule so I'll surprise you with some food and meet you outside. Don't worry though, it'll be classier than corner store hot dogs._

I laughed out loud when I read her text response. We were texting last night and I felt uncomfortable at first with the first few texts being short and not very conversation inducing. I realized that if she built up the courage to ask for my number then I needed to also be more courageous and talk to her instead of shying away whenever I saw her. It worked out so well in the end because now it's easier to talking to her, even if it's through texts.

I looked up at the clock and my break had ended five minutes ago but I really didn't want to stop.

_Sounds good! Well gotta head back into hell, see ya soon :D_

That was the first time I used a stupid little smiley face in a text and I felt immediately ridiculous for sending it. Even though Brittany's texts were cluttered with them, but that was because that's just how she is. I couldn't believe how much of a softy I was becoming around her.

The door combination to the break room beeped and my eyes darted over to it. My happy disposition immediately faded into shock at who I saw. Quinn walked in the room and froze for a moment when she met my eyes. She didn't look as surprised as I did but she still had an uneasy look on her face.

She didn't work today, which was why I was okay with coming in and yet here she was. My defensive walls closed around me and my expression was stoic as she walked over and sat across from me at the table. There was a silence and only the light music of the store's sound system was heard.

"I'm sorry." She began while looking down at the table, her arms folded into her lap.

I had a million questions and responses running through my mind but I couldn't find the proper way to articulate my mixed feelings. I stared at her, even though her head still hung down toward the table in hopes she would elaborate.

"You were just trying to help me I know…I just felt so…"

"Full of yourself that there was no way you'd be making a completely idiotic decision?" I spewed out at her with more anger than I intended.

She quivered a bit and didn't say anything for a moment but continued, "I was making stupid decisions yes…like when I brought up the party last year."

I leaned back in my, bracing myself for the coming storm that I could sense was heading our direction.

"Why the fuck did you do that then? Yeah I know you didn't mean to bring that up, just like I didn't mean to bring up your…_situation_ last year…but Sam?"

She didn't respond yet again

"You like Finn! A lot! Yeah you got a little drink in you but there's no excuse for you to decide to jump on the biggest manwhore we both know, and Quinn would you fucking look at me? Why did you even get in that situation with-"

"Because I want someone to want me!"

She finally met my gaze, but I couldn't even call it that since her eyes were completely distorted by her tears that welled up. I didn't know what to do but to watch her, as if her eyes were controlling every muscle in my body and I had no choice but to just watch her react.

"I saw all the stupid couples at the party and it made me realize just how lonely I am and how much I want someone to want me, so I saw Sam and he went upstairs with me and…" She paused to wipe her eyes, "And when we left the party I felt so pathetic from when you stopped us before that I tried to get with him again, but he just drove me home. He probably thought I'm too dysfunctional and crazy to even be worth his time."

Her eyes snapped down, fighting back her tears from falling and I got up and walked around her chair, hugging her from behind. I leaned my head against her shoulder and held her tightly. She exhaled loudly and put her head in her hand.

"Quinn..." I wanted to comfort her but I didn't know what to say, so I just held her. I finally decided to say something to ease the tension, "Finn does like you, you just need to let him know. You can't sell yourself so short."

She laughed and shook her head. I let go of my hug and walked in front of her, kneeling down and facing her. I grabbed her chin with my hand and locked eyes with her, "Listen to me okay? We've been through a lot of shit and if I learned anything from that, it's that you're strong Quinn. You don't need a man to define you _ever_, you understand?"

She looked to the side and bit her lip in thought. I still had my hand on her chin so I lifted it up and down, forcing her to nod. She smiled and pushed my hand away while giggling, it was so refreshing to see her smile again.

"Thanks Santana…and again..I'm sorry-"

"Don't be okay? I said some horrible stuff too. Let's just forget it okay?" I said while standing up.

She nodded up at me and kept the smile on her face. It looked like she wanted to say more but her expression portrayed everything she didn't have to say.

"I better get going before Finn cries from being up there too long." I teased at her while keeping the smile on my face, "I'll see you around okay?"

Just as I turned to leave, she stood up and grabbed my hand which caused me to spin on my heel and face her again. I was pulled into a tight embrace and felt warm in her arms.

"Quinn…" I said softly and wrapped my arms around her. I hated being sappy but I felt like we really did need this. Once she let go of me, I left and headed for the front register.

I now had two things keeping my smile growing today.

.~

"What're you looking at the menu for? You know everything on it."

Brittany didn't take her eyes off the menu when the Asian girl with the colored hair extensions approached her. Her intense make-up was gone and her extension color was a light brown so it didn't stand out too much from her natural black hair.

"Tina, what's your favorite thing on the menu?" Brittany asked, ignoring her initial question. She flipped the pages and sighed, "I can't decide between breakfast food and dinner food."

"I thought you hated the dinner food we have here…and why are you asking anyway?" Tina questioned with an eyebrow raise as she hovered over Brittany. They were sitting at the counter in the kitchen which was hidden behind the wall that led to the main area of the diner.

Brittany finally diverted her attention to look at Tina and smiled, "It's for a friend of mine."

"Oh, who is this _friend_ of yours?" Tina asked with a wink as she nudged Brittany lightly.

"No it's not like that! She's the girl who works next door, the one who's always working up front." Brittany looked back at the menu and flipped the page to the breakfast foods and smiled a little at the pancake combos.

"Ohhhh _that_ girl." Tina said while looking up and crossing her arms, "the girl that Matt is obsessed with?" she asked, increasing the volume of her voice when she said the second half of her sentence.

"What about me?" Matt chimed in as he wiped his head and untied his apron, approaching them from the kitchen.

Brittany laughed and stood up, "Matt, can you do me a favor pleaaaseee?"

He cocked his head to the side and nodded without asking what it was first, "Anything for you, what's up?"

Brittany smiled and grabbed a set of crayons and a coloring book that was given to the kids who came to eat at the diner.

"Oh god, I don't even wanna know" Tina said as she bunched a hair tie in her hand and walked back around the wall.

Matt still carried the confused look on his face and asked, "Britt…what're you doing?"

"It'll be easier if I draw it for you."

.~

6:59

I sat at the bench and pulled out my phone for the third time. It's not like once the clock hit seven she was going to appear, but I still waited anxiously. I don't know why I was so nervous to see her again but for some reason I felt a little giddy inside knowing we had a time planned for this, it almost felt like a first date.

Before I could ease my nerves, Brittany appeared before me with a white styrofoam box in her hand, "Your dinner is served!" she projected toward me loudly. It caused me to burst out laughing and I leaned my head back, she was so adorable and extroverted, I loved it.

"I really hope you don't address all your customers like that." I asked as I scooted over to make room on the bench.

She sat down next to me and turned to me, "Only the ones that leave me good tips."

I raised my eyebrow and wanted to make a sexual joke at what she said but I didn't feel that close in this new friendship to start doing that just yet, despite how tempting and easy she made it.

She looked down and for the first time she looked bashful. I always thought I was the only one who got nervous around her, so it was nice to see the roles be switched for a change. That is, assuming that she was nervous about the same thing I was, which is highly unlikely because I still don't know how she feels about me.

"Promise not to laugh?" she asked as she gripped the box and looked away.

I smiled a little and shook my head, "I can't make that promise I'm sorry."

She nodded and handed me the box, looking away immediately as I opened it eagerly. My eyes widened a little and my smile from a moment ago was nothing compared to the curve that stretched over my face.

There were two pancakes side by side. One had eggs on top of it, for blonde hair, and the others had hash browns above it, for dark brown hair. There were two blueberries in the pancake with the eggs and two chocolate chips in the other one to represent eyes. They both shared a big red line of a syrup smile.

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't believe she made _us_ in pancake form, it was so adorable and sweet. I turned to her and smiled, "This is…how am I supposed to eat this!"

"Well..." she began and looked at me. I shook a little, her eyes still captivated me and it only made it worse knowing that the owner of those eyes took the time to create something like this for me. "First you get a knife and fork…"

I laughed and shoved her playfully, "Shut up! You know what I meant!"

"Okay fine I'll shut up!" she said and leaned over to slide her thumb over the 'Brittany' pancake's mouth, blending it into the pancake.

She can't be real, can she?

I laughed again and my stomach began to hurt from laughing so much. "Did you really just…?"

I looked at her and she had her hand over her mouth and nodded. I rolled my eyes and looked back down at the pancakes, "Thank you Brittany, these are so amazing."

She smiled and stood up. I knew she was about to head back to the diner but I was feeling very daring these past few days and my confidence only grew with every encounter.

"Hey, I know we just met and all but did you wanna…hang out later tonight?" I felt nervous the moment after I began the question. I only really talked to her last night before and after the party and yet here I was asking her to come over. She probably thought I was being really desperate and would get uncomfortable around me.

She smiled down at me and that's all it took for my inner self-conscious turmoil to fade away. I didn't know what this was but I loved the connection we had made. We spoke more through our smiles and our eyes than we did with our words. It was a strange friendship we were forming but I couldn't wait to see where it led.

"I promised my friend I was going to see a movie with her after work, but how about tomorrow?"

I nodded and completely understood, but still felt a little sad to get rejected by her for the first time.

"I promise I'll bring you more pancakes! And I can teach you how to eat it then too!" she teased at me as she walked away.

"You better keep your word!" I called to her and she quickly spun around and did a dramatic little salute before turning back to head inside her diner.

She was so dorky and cute. I smiled to myself as I looked back down at the food she brought me. I grabbed the knife and fork that came with the meal but couldn't cut through either of them, despite how hungry I was. I was going to be hungry for the rest of my shift rather than eat this perfectly good food in front of me because Brittany had made it cute.

What was this girl doing to me?


	9. My Heartbeat Beats Me Senselessly

**As promised, a new chapter! I hope you all are enjoying it :) **

**I'm happy I got positive feedback with the brittana pancakes haha now go make some!**

**As always and forever, thanks to my beta Courtney**

* * *

A few days had gone by and usually summer days blend together - each day seeming just like the next. They would lose their meaning and the only outcome was the warm and easygoing days. However, this summer was different. I looked forward to the days I would rendezvous with Brittany on our breaks just to chat for a little bit. It made me happy that we were bonding and creating a real friendship rather than just acquaintances who worked in the same plaza. For a while I felt weird talking to her because I didn't know how she felt about us becoming closer to each other all of a sudden, but as we spoke more my confidence grew.

I walked into the store and I had a feeling that today was going to be different. I still hadn't hung out with Brittany outside of work, despite her offer a few days ago because she got called in. She apologized so many times to me that it almost felt as nice as actually hanging out with her. She promised that we would do something tonight and I couldn't be more excited to end my shift.

My vibes of happiness immediately died down when I saw who was walking toward the door to the hallway. His bright blonde hair was quite skillful in triggering my gag reflex. I haven't seen him since the party because he had the past few days off and those days were very enjoyable. Quinn wasn't working today though so things weren't going to be quite as awkward as I thought. I wonder if they've seen each other since the party, or if anything happened that night, or…

"Hey you gotta wake up sometime girly!"

I snapped out of my daze and looked over at the source of the voice. Puck was standing behind the photo counter with a big grin on his face, "Got something on your mind?"

"Oh shut it! Who says a girl has to be thinking about someone of interest just because we're zoning out?" I snapped back but not with any hostility, just to spark some fun before the storm I knew was awaiting the hallway.

"Hey I said some_thing_ not some_one_ missy, so it looks like you do have a certain lover in mind?"

I shook my head and rolled my eyes, I hate being caught in my own sassy remarks. I've been slowly losing my touch, I blame the fact that I'm getting paid to not claw peoples' faces off every time they open their mouths at the register.

"Whatever, it doesn't matter. Who's here today?"

Puck flipped his head up quickly, gesturing down the aisle, "Finn's down there stocking some shelves. Sam's also here and so is Holly."

I couldn't help but laugh when I knew Holly was here. She was older than all of us, in her mid-forties, but she still acted like a teenager.

"Thanks, gotta go clock in now."

"Don't run into any doors while your mind is dreaming of your lover." Puck teased at me as he turned to work on some photo orders.

"If I do, I'll make sure to get them printed for you to see why they're so distracting." I winked and headed for the door. My elated feelings faded as I entered the code and opened the door. Sam turned to me and I immediately felt uncomfortable. Was it okay to act normal and act like nothing happened? I wanted to yell at him and let him know how stupid he was but at the same time I didn't want to try to take control of Quinn's life like she suggested I had been doing.

"Hey" he muttered with a voice so quiet that if I wasn't completely focused on him I know I wouldn't have heard it. It was weak but aggressive at the same time.

"Hi." I responded back just as meekly. I didn't know what to say to him, but I felt strange just standing there trying to initiate some type of conversation. The sound of the door beeped behind me and I was, for the first time, thankful to see Finn.

"Hey you guys!" Finn said with a smile as he walked to the clock-in machine and stood between Sam and I. It was as if he knew that there needed to be a physical barrier between us, and not just the invisible wall of tension.

"You missed out." Sam said with an eyebrow raise toward Finn.

"I know man you told me! You should have brought me along, there's gotta be more details rather than slutty chicks and the cops busting in on it."

I sighed and turned to go to my locker, my back facing them. I didn't know what disgusted me more. The fact they were openly talking about douche guy-like lingo in front of me like I wasn't there, or the fact that this wasn't the first time Sam told Finn about the party. He was reiterating it because I was there. He knew how to make me feel slapped in the face without even having to move and all I wanted to do was make him feel the same way.

"Nah man nothing much, just a lot of horny drunk girls but I didn't get to do much with the time I had there. They couldn't keep their hands off _any_ of me." Sam said louder than the previous statement and my anger was slowly creeping up on me again. I turned my head slightly to see their conversation, and despite the fact that I wanted to just leave the hallway altogether, I wanted to see how far Sam would go with this.

Finn must have sensed the discomfort in the air because he was also taken aback by Sam's openness about this while I was there. His eyes flickered to me and then back to Sam and he raised his eyebrow a little to show Sam that he needed to cool it. He was irritating at times, but Finn was a lot better than Sam.

"Oh um, I just meant like if there were any fights or something bro, I feel kinda weird talking about that's stuff with…" He tilted his head slightly in my direction. Finn was facing me so I knew he could see how my face altered with Sam's words. Luckily Sam's back was facing me so he was oblivious to the silent conversation Finn and I were engaged in.

"What, with her?" Sam turned his body slightly and tilted his arm over his shoulder, pointing his thumb back at me but not actually looking at me. When he finally turned to look at me he had a smug look on his face, "I doubt she'd have any problems with hearing about girls."

I felt my insides burn and my muscles become tense. The heat wasn't just rushing to my face, but throughout my entire body too. The look in his eyes and the stab in the tone of his voice enraged me and halted me all at once. How did he know enough about me to even insinuate something like that? I felt naked and fragile, a feeling that I had once in my life and built my walls twice as thick to never have that happen again.

Finn shook his head and moved to face Sam again, "Hey man, not cool come on." I know for a fact he had absolutely no idea what Sam was talking about, but he could tell that it was enough to hurt me.

"She can take it, right Santana? It's nothing she can't handle, she's a _very_ strong girl." He said back to Finn. He was pushing me until I hit my limits and I didn't know how much more I could take.

_A very strong girl._

My eyes widened when I realized what he meant. When I fought with Quinn and pushed her onto the floor. The remark she made about it, it all made sense now. Sam didn't even know what Quinn was talking about but he knew enough that it triggered something in me and he was trying to get a rise out of it now.

"You're one to talk about strong girls Sam, considering you couldn't seem to get control of Quinn properly that night, looks like you need to hit the gym more blondie." I spat out without even thinking about it.

The look on Finn's face was a mix of confusion and anger. He looked quickly at me then back at Sam and glared down at him, his eyebrows trailing near each other, "Wait...what's she talking about?"

"Oh he didn't tell you?" I walked toward them with newfound confidence and stood between them. I turned to Finn and gestured at Sam the same way he did to me with my thumb, "Mr. I can't keep the drunk ladies off me had quite some difficulty getting into Quinn's pants. He must have had to get her really drunk to get her to consent fully."

Finn looked at me angrily, but I knew his anger wasn't directed toward me, it pierced through me and pressed completely on Sam.

"Is she telling the truth?" He said and I shifted over to allow him to have a view of Sam before he was able to make him feel as naked as I felt.

"I…listen she wasn't even that drunk and we didn't do anything-"

"It doesn't matter! You know how I feel about her you asshole! If there were so many goddamn girls at that party why didn't you just leave her alone and go for them!" He was yelling and I almost felt bad for spilling the truth. Not because I felt bad for Sam, but because I didn't want to make Finn so angry.

"She's not your girl Finn! You don't have the balls to tell her how you feel so I decided I'd try it out okay!"

The door beeped and it broke their argument. Holly walked in happily swaying her arms back and forth and smiled.

"Why the long faces!"

"Why the long face?"

I smiled before I looked up, knowing who was standing before me. Brittany was hovering above me and tilted her head. I exhaled opposite of her, making a smooth line of smoke and turned back to her.

"Just a lot of drama at work."

She sat down next to me and hit her knee against mine. I know she was trying to comfort me but it made me shiver more than anything. It was hard enough avoiding Sam and trying to calm down Finn all day, but I don't think I wanted to deal with capturing butterflies as well.

"I hate that! It's irritating enough getting grumpy customers." She said and leaned back against the bench, staring into the sky. I wonder how it felt to have something as beautiful as the sky meeting her enchanting eyes, it made me feel better just thinking about things like that.

"I know exactly what you mean." I said as I inhaled my cigarette again slowly and turned my head to exhale. I normally didn't care because this was a smoking zone but I felt like I needed to be better around her with these kinds of things.

"You should stop you know."

"As if I can stop my coworkers from being immature."

"Smoking I mean."

I turned to her and brought my eyebrows together in confusion. I can't remember the last time someone tried to get me to quit smoking, even my parents gave up after a few years of nagging me about it.

She continued after reading the confusion on my face, "It's not good for you. You gotta save your lungs if you wanna be able to yell at customers better."

I wanted to laugh but I knew she was genuinely trying to make a point without making it too serious. We weren't even that close and yet she was trying to get me to quit a bad habit.

"I tried before, but it just helps me de-stress and I like how they taste." I tried not to sound crude with my answer like I always did whenever someone talked to me about smoking. She didn't talk down to me about it though, which rarely happened.

"Well, what if I found something you could occupy your mouth with?"

I froze as I brought my cigarette to my lips. My mind immediately started racing with too many thoughts for me to be able to handle. Did she really just say that? Shit. No, she must have just been joking. But that sounded way too provocative to be innocent. I gripped my knee with my free hand and didn't say anything, hoping she would elaborate before my dumbstruck self decided to respond with something I would regret.

"Like pancakes!" She chimed up happily and nudged me with her elbow playfully.

Fucking hell.

I tried to laugh it off but it came off forced and awkward. This subject needed to be changed and fast, "I think I've had enough pancakes for a while. So, um…are we still on for tonight?"

She nodded quickly, "Remember that night at the Seven Eleven?"

I tried to hide the enormous grin that was prying its way out, of course I remembered that night.

"Yes I do"

"Well remember that I said there was a spot nearby I went for alone time?"

I flicked my cigarette in my hand a little and nodded. I remembered absolutely everything about that night. If I had gone home instead of going to the party I still would have felt like I was dancing.

"I wanna go there, it's nice and cute and I think you'd like it!" She said with more excitement. This place seemed to be something worth it if she spent a lot of time there.

"Okay so what time?"

"Is eight okay? I get off at seven and I'd rather not smell like pancakes all night."

"But I can't get enough of that smell!"

"Your store sells perfume right? Go patent some pancake perfume if you love it so much!"

"Then you guys would be out of business."

She laughed which triggered my own pent in laughter. For a moment I forgot about the remarks Sam had made me and felt stressed out about. As she waved goodbye and headed back to work, I stood up and dropped my cigarette, crushing it underneath my foot.

She made me feel calm and relaxed, yet I was never sure where I was with her and felt that I was setting myself up for something that would hurt me in the long run.

She was like a cigarette.

.~

Usually when people are just becoming friends they go out to eat, hang out at their houses, or go to the mall or something. But here I was pulling into the parking lot of Seven Eleven to officially hang out with Brittany in some unknown place that only she goes to. Unique was quite an understatement for her.

I leaned against my car as I waited for her to show up. I was tempted to pull out a cigarette and wait, but that seemed redundant at this point to wait on _two_ cigarettes.

A car pulled in and my heartbeat a little faster, excited to see her again but I immediately felt stupid. This was a convenience store so of course there was going to be people pulling in often. I sighed and rested my head against the window, facing the night sky. There was still some light blue tracing through the night since the sun had not fully set yet. I loved days like these, it seemed almost perfect for seeing someone who matched its beauty.

"Don't tell me you're falling asleep on me!"

For the second time today she caught me off guard. I sprung out of my trance and looked at her, but regretting doing it so quickly because there was too much for me to take in. She had on a beautiful white and yellow summer dress. It extended down to her knees and she wore pink flip flops to complete it. I immediately felt like I underdressed even though it was just a hangout.

That's all this was right?

"Nope, just thinking about how I'm probably going to get killed considering how shady this 'place' of yours is."

She laughed and shook her head, "Come with me, I'll show you it."

She turned and headed down the street. I followed next to her until we reached a park a few blocks away. It was completely cleared out except for a few pre-teens who were sprawled all over the jungle gym and laughing out loud. That damn hyena laugh.

We walked turned into the park and stopped at a tree. She started stretching her limbs and I felt out of place, like I walked into the wrong movie theatre and everyone was captivated by a scene that I didn't understand.

"Okay here we go!"

Before I could protest, she jumped and grabbed onto a branch, swinging her leg over and climbed up. She didn't stop at the first branch that she somehow managed to get onto, but she maneuvered herself around until she was out of my sight and lost in the depths of the leaves.

I looked around again to double check if this was happening and this wasn't actually some elaborate planned prank on me. I sighed and gave in, jumping not-so-gracefully to reach the branch Brittany had started on and climbing up. I sliced my body over sharp broken pieces of bark but tried to contain my irritated complaints because I knew this was someplace special for her.

When I finally reached her I smiled at what I saw. It wasn't anything too crazy but she had a little set up made for herself in the tree. There were some books, food, a pillow that looked raggedy, and other assortments of items placed around and on the branches that had little bags hung to them for storage.

"This is awesome" I heard escape my lips before I even realized it. I genuinely meant it and I didn't need to think before I spoke my mind about this, or about anything with her really.

She nodded and leaned against the tree, "I love this. I come here to kill time and be at peace. I can't climb up here during the day though because I don't want anyone else to know about it."

"Then how come you showed me?" I asked curiously

She shrugged and smiled, "Well I mean, my friends get to see it of course!"

Friends. She considered us friends and that overwhelmed me with so much happiness. She showed me something very personal to her and made herself vulnerable to me. Even if it was indirectly and light- I felt a lot closer to her.

We talked about ourselves for a while, laughing and smiling throughout the entire time. I learned a little about her family and how she has a giant cat that's internet famous. How she loves to dance and volunteers to teach at dance classes. I knew her dancing was on another level but I had no idea she was pursuing it in a professional field. I also learned about her work and how she really loves to talk to people, even if they're being hateful and rude to her.

Hearing her voice was almost as mesmerizing as gazing into her eyes. I loved talking to her and felt so comfortable around her. I knew that if we had gone to the same high school that we would have probably been great friends. I had wished she kept talking about herself and her life because it was all so interesting and adorable to me as opposed to my boring and mundane life.

It was getting late and I needed to get going soon. My heart beat faster as she shifted and leaned her head against my shoulder and yawned, as if she could read my mind she said, "We should probably get going huh?"

"Yeah it's getting pretty late. I don't think my parents will care though, they're pretty used to it." I was so thankful that she was leaning on my right side because my heart was going to break through my chest. She smelled so nice and her skin was soft, I didn't want to leave.

"He works late shifts usually?"

It made me happy that she was asking about my life and remembered that I mentioned my dad being a doctor. It was something insignificant, but I appreciate people remembering things about me and asking about them. It made me feel like I was important in a way and that I was thought of.

"Yeah, he works late usually even if his shift is over, something I know I could never do." I said and felt rewarded from the comment by Brittany's laugh against my side.

"Thank you" I said suddenly and looked down at her. She tilted her head up to meet my gaze and I almost wanted to pull back because of how close we were to each other. This didn't feel like friendship closeness, this felt a lot more intimate.

"For everything." I concluded and she smiled up at me. Her eyes were so beautiful and I know I was staring for a long time but I couldn't help myself. She was so adorable and beautiful all at once. She had a personality that was so lovable and I didn't think I could resist.

But as always, my body works before my brain.

I leaned in and closed my eyes, my heart thrashing against my chest and I met my lips to her. I held it there and felt m body warm up and tingle. Her lips were as soft as her skin, no they were much softer. My mind was going crazy a moment ago and now everything stood still. All the sounds that could be heard were the echoes of the wind picking up.

I leaned in to deepen the kiss and throw myself into more ecstasy than I knew I could handle, but I immediately felt cold. Brittany had pulled herself away from me and her mouth was open slightly in shock as she stared at the ground.

"Santana…I…I don't…"

My face fell and I felt a wave of regret wrap across my body. I felt heavier by the moment and kept my eyes locked onto Brittany, but she didn't look at me. Why wouldn't she look at me? I felt naked and vulnerable again.

I finally had feeling in my limbs again and I bolted down the tree.

"Santana wait!"

I dropped down to the grass and ran as fast as I could to get back to my car. I wanted to drive so far away that I could outrun my embarrassment and my shame.

But it was impossible to outrun something that was trapped in my chest.


	10. Intentional or Not

It seemed like hours that I had been in my car driving aimlessly on the freeway. I didn't have a destination, but I wanted to keep going because I was too afraid to stop.

Looking over at my dashboard, I saw that I was low on gas. I was going to fill my tank before I met up with Brittany but I was too focused on what to wear and how things were going to happen that I left myself with no time to make the stop. None of that mattered now and I realized that I just needed to go home.

I wiped my eye as I exited to get some gas and make the trip back home. How could I do something so stupid and irrational? I shouldn't feel this way about her. She's a _girl_ and it's not right. I hated myself for feeling this way, but at the same time I can't help but think that I was being more honest with myself than I ever have been.

On the way back, I exited earlier than I usually did and found myself outside of Quinn's house. There was no way she was still awake, and if she was, what would I say to her? I hadn't planned this out yet, but I just felt that I needed to be with someone even if I couldn't articulate my feelings to them.

I turned my car off and called her, hoping she would answer. It rang a few times and I leaned my head back against the headrest and sighed thinking _come on Quinn. Pick up pick up pick-_

"Santana?"

"Quinn, can I…can I come over?"

There was a silence and then some rustling on the other end before Quinn answered, "Are you outside my house now?"

I looked out the passenger seat window and saw her blinds were shifted. It was too dark to see inside the room but I knew she could see my car.

"…Yes. I'll explain but please let me sleep over."

The phone clicked and I knew she hung up. After a few moments the front door opened and I got out of my car. I locked it, realizing I had brought nothing with me but my keys and my purse. My parents were probably going to be worried in the morning but I really didn't care now.

Quinn walked over to me and by the contorted look of confusion on her face I could tell that she had questions lined up to ask me but instead her face fell and she stepped close to me as her voice softened, "Have you been crying?"

Hearing her say those words almost made me burst into tears again. I had been crying but I stopped an hour ago when I felt my tear ducts were drying out. I hated showing this kind of weakness and vulnerability but that seemed to be the theme of my entire day.

I wanted to say no but I came here because I needed a friend and there was no way I could lie to her if I expected her to be there to comfort me. I nodded slowly and she stepped forward, holding me tightly. I wrapped my arms around her and it made my heart ache even worse. I wanted to have my arms wrapped around Brittany. If only she had felt the same way, if all those sparks that I took as interest were real and we had a genuine connection, then she'd be the one in my arms tonight and for a whole different reason.

Quinn broke the embrace and sighed slowly. She didn't sound frustrated or irritated, but it was more like a way of getting ready for what was to come. She took my hand and led me inside her house and upstairs to her room. It was completely silent and dark inside her house, which wasn't so surprising for one in the morning on a weeknight.

When I got to her room I headed straight for the bed and sat on it, laying back and inhaling deeply. Clothing was tossed on my chest and I sat up to look at Quinn then down at the clothing.

"You've got to be kidding me." I said when I saw the pink pajama onesie she had given me. "You actually own one of these? _and_ you want me to wear one?"

"I've got a snuggie if you'd prefer it." She responded with a smirk as she closed her door and turned her back to let me change.

"Are you serious? You don't have like a tank top and shorts or something?" I sat up and lifted the shoulders of the onesie, letting the rest of it flutter down onto the floor. It has flower petals and rainbows on it. Fucking rainbows.

She came over and sat next to me when she realized that I wasn't going to change. "So are you gonna…tell me why you're here this late?"

I had hoped that she wouldn't ask, which was stupid because the elephant was way too big to fit in this room. I looked down and contemplated telling her. I didn't want her to judge me, but at the same time I needed someone who would understand me.

"There's just….there's someone…" I wanted time to think before I pieced my thoughts together but Quinn wanted an answer immediately. She knew how my mind worked, if someone had wanted to respect my emotions and given me time to explain I would have come up with an elaborate story that only partially related to the real issue just so I wouldn't have to come clean. That's not how Quinn worked however. She gave me no time to beat around the bush and asked me straightforward to make sure she got all of the truth.

"Did something happen with them? Santana I swear if you hooked up with a random guy again-"

"I didn't! Calm the fuck down before you assume-"

My own interjection was cut off by her putting her finger to my mouth and glaring at me. I was getting loud. I don't think she was upset about me waking up her family as much as my own over emotional state breaking down my logic and letting my anger get the better of me.

"Sorry." I said with a pout as she removed her finger. I inhaled slowly and closed my eyes, bracing for what was to come. "There's this…_person_ who I like. I thought they liked me back but I guess it was just mixed signals and now I feel like an idiot."

"It happens Santana. Why were you crying though?" She paused and continued when I didn't answer her, "You've dated a lot of guys and I'm surprised that you'd get so emotional over one. It's not like you."

"I guess I just haven't been myself lately." I responded. I didn't necessarily lie, I just didn't admit to the truth. Having her judge me for being emotional over a guy was easier than her thinking I was…

"I don't think I've ever had real girl talk with you so this seems a little strange but, I'm here if you want to open up about it more." She said as she rubbed my back gently. I felt more relaxed until she scooted over and leaned her head on my shoulder. The same shoulder who someone just a couple hours ago leaned on and made me feel safe and terrified at the same time. It felt like she was probing at a fresh wound and I couldn't stand it. I shoved her off me immediately and scooted over on the bed.

Quinn looked shocked and by the look on her face I knew she felt she had done something terribly wrong. I wanted to explain to her but she wouldn't understand.

"What's going on?" She asked with a whisper as she eyed me across the bed.

I shrugged and slouched over, staring into the floor and contemplating telling her the truth or not.

"Nothing, can we just go sleep? I'm tired and I have a pounding headache." I said with a little more animosity than I have planned.

Quinn stood up and nodded. She grabbed some clothing from her closet. I knew she had extra comfortable clothing to wear. Before I knew it she started undressing right in front of me. It never was an issue between close girl friends to change around each other but she got completely naked. I felt a blush fade over my face, and I couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or something I've been in denial about.

"Quinn!" I said as I turned my head to face the bed, "A warning maybe?"

She laughed as she put on her shirt and shorts slowly and then turned to put the clothing she was wearing in the laundry basket. I was actually surprised to find her wearing normal clothing when I got to her house, I assumed she had been asleep.

"I didn't think you'd mind." She stated as she tossed her clothing into the basket and froze immediately after, realizing what she had let slip out.

I felt icy cold inside and I didn't know how to explode with anger if I had no flames to fuel. This was the second time she made a reference to the events of that night and it hurts even more hearing it when she was sober.

She turned to me quickly and walked forward, not approaching too closely however, "Santana I'm so sorry it just slipped out. I didn't mean to-"

"Imply that I'm a raging homo? Quinn I was just drunk at a party and got done fucking some random guy I didn't know. I felt like shit and was too drunk to realize it and just tried to kiss you because you were nearby okay?" I said with growing anger I didn't know was possible after all the broken feelings I had earlier.

She stared at me with wide eyes and sighed, but didn't dare to step any closer to me than she already had. "Santana, you haven't even mentioned a boy to me since then and it wasn't just me you tried to kiss that night you know."

"Yeah thanks Fabray I really wanted to remember _every _detail of that fucked up night!" I stood up and walked right up to her, our faced a few inches apart and glared her down with powerful intensity. I knew I was overreacting because I was still upset from earlier but she had no right to bring up the past like this.

She stared into my eyes and leaned her head forward so our foreheads were pressed together. She exhaled slowly, closing her eyes and brought her arms up to wrap around my neck.

"Did a…girl hurt you?" she asked softly as she reopened her eyes to meet mine. Her face became a blur to me as my eyes watered up with tears I thought I had been done with hours ago. She knew how to get me screaming on the inside without yelling at me. Quinn knew me so well that it scared me.

I nodded and leaned forward, hugging her tightly. I didn't care if she wanted the embrace or not but I just needed to feel like someone wanted me. I was so tired of being rejected and looked down upon.

For the second time that night I wished Quinn was Brittany.

.~

"Santana! Where were you?"

I entered my house, bracing myself for the worst when I heard my mother calling to me. She should be at work so why was she still here? It's like nothing was supposed to actually go right today.

"Sorry, I was at Quinn's house and my phone died." I wasn't lying but I knew it wasn't a valid excuse that my parents would take without interrogating me.

My mother approached me and had a look that consisted of concern, worry, and frustration planted on her face. She sighed as she saw me and shook her head, "Santana you could have texted me from Quinn's phone or something so I knew where you were. You had me worried sick!"

I knew where this was going and I really wasn't in the mood to discuss this right now. I didn't need more people having negative opinions about me and I just wanted to go to my room.

"I know, I'm sorry." I said without even putting up a fight. She gave me a curious look and nodded slowly, understanding everything my eyes said that I wasn't able to talk about. "I'm going to go to the store. Did you need anything?"

I shook my head. It was kind of her to not pry into my sad exterior and try to give me space but there was really nothing that could make me in a better mood at the moment. Well there was one thing but it was easier to frame it as something that will never happen.

When I went up to my room I immediately connected my phone to its charger and turned it on. Within minutes it buzzed a few times to show all the notifications I missed. I had a few texts and a voicemail from my mother and one from Quinn she must have sent after I left this morning. I gave my phone another minute to receive everything and when it buzzed again my heart fluttered. Maybe Brittany had texted me last night? Maybe she was also talking with a friend about her confused feelings? Maybe I wasn't alone with this?

Things never work out that way though, do they?

The text was from Mercedes and the reason my phone buzzed wasn't because it was an older text I was receiving now, but she actually _had_ just texted me now.

_Wanna get lunch? Call me!_

I sighed and tapped a few keys on my phone, bringing it to my ear and hearing it right. After a few rings she picked up.

"Hey you! You busy in about an hour?"

I checked the clock as if it was a schedule for what I had planned. It was eleven thirty and I knew I had nothing planned today until I worked at three.

"I'm guessing I will be." I said while walking around my room and gathering some clothing I was potentially going to change into.

"Okay good! I'll pick you up at twelve thirty. Dress cute okay!"

"Wait why?"

"Just do it okay? But don't dress cuter than me"

"How am I supposed to know what you're wearing?"

I trailed off the end of my question when I heard Mercedes laugh and then yell jokingly about someone's 'busted ass rims'. She was driving and I knew there was no point trying to further the conversation. Unlike Quinn, Mercedes was very blunt and to the point without trying to carry any emotion in her words. I don't think she understood how to have 'girl talk'.

I obviously wasn't very keen with talking to girls either.

.~

_Honk._

Oh for the love of

_HONK. HONK._

I scrambled out of my house, waving goodbye to my mother whom I still was confused about being home so early but I didn't really ponder on it too much. It was hard to ponder anything actually with Mercedes' obnoxious honking.

I stepped inside her car and immediately she whined at me

"What?" I asked as I buckled my seatbelt and put my purse on the floor of the car.

"You look hot! I said look cute not like jail bait!"

"Excuse me! It's hot and I wanna enjoy the summer day. Sorry I don't meet your fashion standards Tyra." I didn't understand why she was so hung up on looking nice. I would have just worn jeans and a t-shirt normally but she seemed adamant on looking nice. I had on a tight fitting stripped top that really accentuation my curves and a short black skirt to go with it. I had a necklace dangling around my neck that I fiddled with and black heels. Maybe I was looking a little dressier than I had planned but I really didn't care at this point, I just wanted to get out and away from everything that's been cluttering my mind.

We exchanged more back and forth comments about our outfits. It was hard to with Mercedes wearing such a fancy blue dress and a white jacket to go over it. She definitely looked nice, but she wasn't borderline slutty like my outfit was and I started to wonder more where we were going that made her so eager. I wished that I had taken a moment to ask where we were going to eat because when we made the familiar car ride towards my work my stomach dropped.

"We're eating at the diner?" I asked her with a distressed look on my face.

"Well yeah! Didn't I tell you?" She said nonchalantly as she parked into the closest spot to the restaurant and pulled out her purse from underneath the seat.

This wasn't happening. Of all the damn places why did we have to end up here? I felt like I was going to be sick.

"No you didn't tell me! Why are we going here! And why did we get dressed up!" I kept asking questions hoping to get some sort of acceptable answer but instead I got a confused look from Mercedes.

"Is there a problem San?" She asked bluntly and I shook my head, I couldn't win when my mind was all over the place.

I stepped out of the car and looked toward the diner. They were busy and I hoped that _she_ wasn't working right now, or at all today. I really wanted to avoid her at all costs and here we were going to her diner to eat.

Mercedes chained her arm around mine and tugged me toward the door. "I see him!" she chimed up excitedly and I immediately understood everything, she wanted to visit Matt.

We entered the diner and Matt was standing at the counter with a big smile plastered on his face. It didn't look fake like the smiled I gave customers, he actually looked pretty happy to see us. Or maybe just me? He kept eyeing me as we made our way to the counter but that might be because I dressed like a hooker.

"Hey ladies, to what do I owe this visit?" He said to me more than anything as he grabbed two menus from behind the counter.

"Just um…" Mercedes looked flustered and tongue-tied, which meant I had to do the talking.

"We're hungry." I said bluntly and Matt nodded with an even bigger smile. I swear anything I said made that guy smile. Maybe I should have said something offensive and seen if he smiled at it. No that's just stupid.

I eyed around the restaurant hoping not to see the person that I wanted to avoid the most. There was a lot of chatter and clamps of utensils, it was pretty busy today. I looked back to Matt who was staring at me eagerly. His gaze caused me to quickly turn to Mercedes and she had the same look on her face. Shit. They probably asked me something while I was zoning out.

"Huh?" I muttered, hoping they would stop staring at me. It worked as Matt and Mercedes laughed awkwardly and he walked us to a table by the window.

"Your server's gonna be here in a bit okay?" He said and smiled again before heading back to the front.

When I leaned back against the cushion I was greeted by Mercedes glaring at me on the other end of the table. "What?" I asked with an eyebrow raise

"I can't believe you did that!"

"Did what?"

"He said you looked beautiful and you just ignored him!"

"Oh is that what he said? Whatever I don't really care."

"But I do!"

"Why? Who gives a fuck it was just a compliment."

"But he probably was going to compliment me after if you had just responded!"

I wanted to tell her how completely illogical that was but my mind went blank when I saw our server approach us.

Fuck my life and everything in it.

"Hello ladies." Brittany said with a half smile on her face.

I leaned my face against the palm of my hand and looked down at my menu. There was no way I was going to engage in any eye contact with her at all.

Mercedes gave me a strange look and then turned to Brittany, "Hey!"

"Can I get you two started with anything?" Brittany asked as she pulled out her notepad and a pen.

Yeah. Maybe two cups of break my heart.

"Water." I said quickly as I flipped through my menu.

"I'll have water too." Mercedes said in a more cheerful tone as if she had to make up for my gloomy demeanor.

"Okay I'll be back!" Brittany said as she walked away back towards the kitchen.

"What the fuck San?" Mercedes hushed over the table so no one would hear.

"What?" I tried to sound as dumbfounded as possible.

"Why are you treating everyone here so shitty? You on your period or something?"

"Oh very nice Mercedes, you know _exactly_ how to make me feel better. Just forget it out?"

I flipped through my menu and was looking for what would be the quickest thing to eat so we could just get out of this place.

.~

"She's here!"

"What?"

"She's eating here!"

Tina looked at Brittany for a moment before it sunk in and her mouth went wide in shock. "Wait…she…she's eating here? No way, oh god did she bring it up?"

Brittany shook her head and leaned against the wall that separated the diner from the kitchen. "Matt even purposely sat them at my table because he knew that I knew Santana."

"Wait, he doesn't know what happened?" Tina stated quickly and quietly in case Matt or anyone else were to come by and hear.

"No of course not!" Brittany said loudly at first then quieted at the end to match Tina's idea of keeping other coworkers out of the conversation.

"Why not! Brittany he's like your best friend you should have told him first!" Tina started pouring drinks into their perspective cups and stacking them on the table.

"Because _he_ likes her Tina! You know he'll freak out if he knew that she…she was a…"

"Look. The stuff with Matt doesn't matter now, but you seriously need to do something about that girl. Is she like stalking you? Did you tell her to back off?"

Brittany looked hurt by what Tina said and shook her head, not identifying which question it was directed to. She didn't say anything for a moment then looked around the wall to the tables.

"She's doesn't even look like she wants to be here" She finally responded to Tina, "I think she just came with her friend. She seems to know Matt."

"Who?" Tina also peaked around the wall and smiled when she saw a familiar face, "Oh you mean Mercedes! She used to work here! She didn't work here long but she was so much fun to have around."

"I never met her, I think I was hired after her."

"Yeah well she had a really huge crush on Matt while she was here and it always made us laugh how oblivious to it he was."

"I see, well I better bring them their water. Should I say anything about…?"

"What! Brittany of course not! Just act normal okay don't force more conversation than you need to. This is already awkward enough."

"Okay good point"

Brittany started heading around the corner

"Britt!"

She spun around and headed back inside quickly, "What?"

"Waters?"

"Oh right!"

.~

I watched out of the corner of my eye as Brittany exited the kitchen and then quickly went back inside. She must have seen me looking over, this was a complete disaster.

I flipped through the menu for the fifth time without actually reading any of the items on it. I know Mercedes was getting impatient but I couldn't think straight.

"You guys ready to order?"

I jumped a little at the sudden voice that loomed over me. I didn't see her come over and that only gathered more strange looks from Mercedes.

"Yes. I'll have the lunch combo with no tomatoes please" She said as she folded her menu, shooting me another glare as she did so.

"Okay, and for you?" Brittany said as she started placing the waters on our table.

I stared blankly at the menu and I knew her eyes were drilling into me. She was probably judging me and the stupid mistake I made. I wanted to just vanish, I couldn't do this.

"Pancakes" I finally said, but it was more of a shout almost at how loud I said it. Flustered, I looked up at her gently and nodded to show her that that was all I was getting.

"What kind?" She asked me sweetly. I regretted ignoring her gaze this entire time because I immediately felt warmer.

"Um…just…uh."

Our eyes had more conversation than our voices did. She looked so gentle and understanding, I thought for a moment that maybe she wasn't judging me.

"Santana?" Mercedes said with an irritated tone.

I didn't know how long I was staring at Brittany. Staring at someone for a long period of time was only really acceptable if you were dating them. To do it with anyone else would bubble up anxiety and the person would immediately break away eye contact. It was just something that happened naturally between people so I knew by my logical part of my brain that I didn't stare at her for more than a few seconds but I really didn't want to stop. I turned to look at Mercedes when she called me and immediately felt stupid because I forgot what Brittany asked me.

"It's okay, I think I know what you want." Brittany said sweetly as she grabbed the menus and walked off.

"Santana, what's going on? First Matt, now our waitress? Can you focus at all today?" Mercedes asked with a slightly frown.

"Sorry, I just don't feel that good today okay? It's fine don't worry your boyfriend won't mind that your friend had an off day." I regretted it right when I said it. Mercedes never told me that she liked Matt, I just assumed by how she acted around him. It still didn't feel right to accuse her, especially when she wasn't in the best mood.

"Shut it Lopez, Matt is just a friend okay?" Mercedes said back and I swear I could feel the heat from the fire that radiated from her words.

"Then how come you care so much about dressing up for some stupid diner lunch date? You were all over him at the party too." I knew this conversation was going in a horrible direction but I just needed to know the truth. Talking about me was making me feel sick anyway.

"It's not even like that okay! Just because I'm nice to a guy doesn't mean I'm romantically interested. I thought you of all people would understand that physical expression doesn't always mean love." She said with an eyebrow raise.

I wanted to storm out of the booth and just walk home but I knew that I couldn't even feel my legs. I wanted to yell and scream at her but I bit my tongue and looked down, I really wasn't feeling like myself lately.

"Sorry" She chirped up quietly as I looked back up at her. "I didn't mean to say that."

"It's okay, I shouldn't have said that about Matt so we're even." I replied with a small smile forming on the corner of my lips

"What happened to you Santana, when did you start becoming such a softy?" She asked as she grabbed her water and took a large gulp from it.

"I dunno, maybe customer service is forcing me to keep my mouth shut." I lied a little in that response because I didn't really even know myself.

Within about ten minutes of more silence, but comfortable silence, Brittany approached our table. She put Mercedes food in front of her then paused before handing me my food.

"I um, tell me if you want me to change it okay?" She said to me as she lowered the plate from her tray and set it in front of me.

All the negative feelings from earlier seemed to fade away as I gazed down at two pancakes, one with blueberry eyes and the other with chocolate chip eyes. I let a giggle escape my mouth which was only being held back by a gigantic smile. As I looked up to comment on the plate she had already turned around and walked back to the kitchen.

She made me feel like running again, but this time I didn't want to run away into the night to retreat from my regret. I wanted to run to her.

So I did.


	11. Asks For Some Involvement

**Thank you for such amazing feedback from last chapter! I love the reviews you guys leave, definitely puts a huge smile on my face :)!**

**Also big shout out to Courtney for not only being my beta but also making cover art for this story! I think you can see it on the top left next where the fanfiction icons usually go haha.**

**Sorry for all the cliffhangers too! They're just to much fun hehe enjoy!**

* * *

I ran up to her without even thinking twice about what I was going to say. I didn't want to just let this go knowing that there could have been _something_ there.

"Wait!" I called as I stumbled to catch up by dodging tables and chairs.

Brittany spun around quickly and I almost crashed into her from her abrupt stop. She had a look of worry in her eyes at first from how sudden and desperate I sounded.

I stared at her and said nothing at all, the silence set in and I could feel the looks of nearby tables bearing into me but I didn't care. The only look that mattered was the owner of those crystal blue eyes that I felt more drawn to the more I looked into them.

"Yes?" Brittany finally spoke up, breaking the silence and tension that formed. She knew this was going to be more than just a customer flagging down their waitress and her expression portrayed her preparation for what was to come.

I straightened myself up and finally blurted out, "What's going on with us?"

She was taken aback by my question, or just the sheer bluntness of it, and looked down at the floor. She fidgeted with the curve of the tray she held flat against her stomach and didn't say anything. I decided to try to break the ice by continuing what I started.

"I know what I did was…" I paused and tried to string my words together in my head so that I didn't seem as crazy as I came off, but she was making me nervous and I was creating another silence with my delay, "Sudden"

She looked back up at me then she looked around for a moment before turning to me again, "Hey do you think we could talk about this later?"

She looked sincere with her request and it made me feel better knowing she wanted to have a longer span of time to discuss how ridiculous I was. I nodded to her and stepped back, turning to go back to my seat without even asking the time frame that "later" was referring to.

Mercedes opened her mouth to begin saying something to me and I shot her a look that immediately shut her up and we finished our meal in silence. I only ate the 'Santana' pancake because it still felt weird to stick a knife through Brittany, even if it was just a pancake. Despite the fact that she had already done the same thing to my rope that kept me from falling deep into feelings that I didn't want to have to deal with.

.~

After the meal Mercedes dropped me off at my home so I could start to get ready for work. We joked around and the car ride seemed normal but it wasn't like Mercedes to ignore the elephant in the room. She was the type of person who forced me to make amends with people I was upset with, even if I wasn't ready to. I don't think she knew how to react to this situation however because I have yet to tell her about my infatuation with girls. I was happy she tried to cheer me up and even offered to hang out at my house until work but I told her I just needed some alone time and she obliged without any arguing. It was nice having friends that care.

I changed into my uniform and was shocked to hear sounds echoing in my house. I was worried for a moment as I creeped out of my room to find the source of the noise. Seeing my mother walk around and fix up one of the chairs in the living room relaxed my tension and I immediately felt stupid. Her car was probably parked outside too and I just didn't notice it.

I walked to the edge of the staircase and called down to her softly, "Hey mom."

She looked up at me in the same shocked look I had when I heard the noises, she probably didn't know I was home either. It was rare that we saw each other during the day. My father was a doctor at a hospital so he usually got late shifts or even overnight ones. My mother, on the other hand, worked as a realtor on the other side of town. It's quite a commute everyday but she insists its better than getting an apartment out there. It feels like it since the only time I ever see her is on the weekend since she gets home so late from the office, so I was surprised to see her home more often. Confused to be honest.

"Hey Santana!" she said happily as she continued to maneuver chairs around the living room.

"What're you doing here?" I asked bluntly as I walked down the stairs to meet her.

She smiled again at me and each time she smiled it seemed more forced. I felt like she wanted me to leave without having to actually ask me too and it only furthered my confusion.

"Oh it's just been slow at the office this past week so I'm working from home more. Don't worry about it honey it's only temporary!" And as if she saw the disbelieving look on my face she added "I thought you'd be happy to see me more mija!" and smiled wider.

Fake smile.

I nodded decided to let it go, "I'm going to work. I'll be back tonight…" I trailed off at the end as my mother immediately went back to her task in the living room. It wasn't my place to interrogate her but something just didn't feel right. I left it alone and went to work.

.~

"Can you repeat that?"

"I said I need to talk to your manager right now!"

"No I heard that, I meant the second part."

"Oh I know, I just needed to get myself ready for it!"

I blinked at the girl who stood before me curiously and had to hold back from scowling at her because she _was_ a customer. She patted her bangs, cleared her throat, stood up straight, and repeated what she said a moment ago with much more force, "My name is Rachel Berry and I am a legend that you cannot pass up a job to!"

What the fuck?

I checked around to make sure this wasn't some elaborate prank just to mess with me and to my disappointment this was all really happening. This girl really was this crazy.

"Yeah…okay I'll call him. So sorry to make you repeat that." I said with as much sarcasm as I could but she didn't seem to catch on as she just smiled and nodded, accepting my apology.

"Mr. Schue, could you come to the front?" I announced over the pager. This Rachel girl was still standing there when I faced the counter again and I was waiting for her to say something but she just stared at me.

"Your voice is very raspy and low but carries a smooth tone, do you sing?"

"No"

"I have a keen ear for catching people's voices and can predict what a person's singing would resonate into from the vibrations in their speech."

"Fascinating."

"Isn't it! I know not many people hold that talent but I make sure to cherish it and the potential it holds, much like me."

I crossed my arms and leaned back, hoping she would get the hint to shut up but she just continued on about her 'talent' and 'potential', it was making me nauseous.

"Wait, why are you here again?" I asked, cutting her off.

"Oh was I not clear? I'll repeat it again for you if you want-"

"No, no please don't repeat it." If I had to sit through another repetition I might actually jump the counter and rip her throat out. She was so frustrating that I wasn't surprised at how fast I lost my customer service façade. I ran the statement she had repeated earlier in my head.

_My name is Rachel Berry and I am a legend that you cannot pass up a job to_

Wait.

_I am a legend that you cannot pass up a job to_

Oh god.

_A job to_

"Are you here for a job interview?" I suddenly asked, hoping I was just analyzing her words incorrectly and that she was going to leave and never be seen again.

But as life would have it, she nodded quickly and exclaimed a loud, confident "Yes!"

Before I had time to respond, Mr. Schue walked over and clapped his hands in front of him with a small smile forming on his face. "Ms. Berry…you're back!"

This wasn't her first time here?

"Yes I know and I'm quite keen to the reality that persistence is not always key, but if I could just have another chance to show you that you really do need my innovative communication skills and ability to make sales while keeping the customer pleased!" She spewed out as if it were an over-rehearsed monologue she was presenting.

Mr. Schue looked extremely overwhelmed by her outburst but he had a hard time turning people down. He put his hands up to signal her to stop, "Ms. Berry! Ms. Berry thank you that's enough. I'm a little busy today but tomorrow I can give you an interview at around ten in the morning tomorrow if that fits into your-"

"Yes!" she interjected loudly, making Mr. Schue and I step back a little in surprise, "I'll be here, thank you, you won't regret it!" she said and bowed before leaving the store.

There was a small silence that was broken by Mr. Schue's loud, stressed out sigh.

"She's a keeper!" I chimed up happily

.~

A few hours went by and I realized that Brittany and I had never made an official time to meet up. It made my heart sink when I remembered the look on her face when I asked her about us. Who was I kidding? There is no 'us' to even talk about. I should have just kept my feelings to myself so we could stay friends and now I know even that isn't possible.

I checked the clock to see how close my lunch was.

6:48

I had about ten minutes until I had to go but I was tired of over thinking and decided to go early. I paged for Quinn to come to the front and cover for me and she surprised me when she was beside me, greeting me, within seconds, "Hey!"

"Oh god, were hiding behind the counter or something?" I asked with a little more attitude than I had meant.

Quinn just laughed and shook her head, "Santana I've been stocking candy on this shelf for like five minutes. You seemed too in thought to bother you."

Feeling bad at how quick I was to pull out the rage-card, I looked down to my feet and let out a small mumbled, "Sorry I just…"

She shook her head, "Don't apologize okay? Go on your lunch before you become a _hungry_ bitch." She teased and pushed past me to stand at the register.

I appreciated her attempt at making me feel better but I still couldn't help but feel like complete crap at the fact that I couldn't ever walk by the diner again without gaining judgmental looks from her. It felt like high school all over again and it just made me sick to my stomach.

Clocking out and grabbing my bag I went outside and sat on the bench I usually sat on, but instead of eating I pulled out a cigarette. I knew I should probably be eating but I decided to face the discomfort and regret later and just relieve myself of the stress for the moment. I pulled out my phone and saw I had a text message from twenty minutes ago I didn't notice.

_Hey your lunch is still at seven right? If it is meet at the death seat._

I re-read the text a few times to make sure I was reading it correctly. I sighed in expectation of what was to come. She was going to tell me to my face that I made her completely uncomfortable and nervous and didn't want me to be around her anymore. The worst part is that if I could go back in time I wouldn't change what I did, because her lips just felt so nice. They were so right, as if they had a place right between mine.

I walked around the store toward the main street that ran alongside it. The street formed into a bridge that cascaded over the freeway below, which gives my store a really convenient location for those hopping off the freeway. As I walked over I exhaled slowly to try to calm myself down but it was hard to keep your composure when you were about to face heartache.

She was sitting on the death seat bench when I turned on the street and headed for the bridge. During our bonding time during breaks and lunches Brittany and I would wonder around and try to find interesting places in the plaza. We came across a small, chipped and faded bench that sat alone in the middle of the bridge sidewalk and decided to call it the death seat because of how easy it would be to jump off the bench into impending doom below. It seemed a little twisted but we both found humor in the isolated bench and it made me feel good to have inside jokes with her.

I approached her and she turned to me with a light smile on her face. My heart beat faster and my palms were getting a little sweaty from being clenched into fists at my side for so long. I needed to feel tension to try to strain my thoughts away from the inevitable truth I was going to face but it only resulted in my arms quivering, as well as my confidence.

She stood up from the seat and walked over to me, probably feeling awkward just sitting there and watching me walk to her. Little did she know that it's always been that way, but it was a kind gesture.

"Hey." She said quietly while staring directly into my eyes.

I kept my eyes facing the ground and didn't know what to say so I kept it as simple as she had begun it.

If only our situation had turned out that way.

"Hi." I said meekly and looked to the side, overlooking the freeway and the cars speeding by. I wondered for a moment if the cars were going as fast as my heart was pounding.

There was a silence and I felt the need to break it, but Brittany's desire was much greater because she decided to speak up before the silence went on too long.

"You look nice."

I looked up and met her eyes with confusion and bashfulness all at once. Did she just compliment me? I couldn't believe that was the first thing she wanted to say.

"Is that all you have on your mind?" I said loudly and I knew my tension was breaking through and was going to take control of my emotions. I quickly looked around to see if anyone was near but that seemed ridiculous considering there was absolutely nothing except for a few cars that zoomed by. Even the freeway seemed far away because of how high the bridge was. Despite the fact that this was a large, public and open area, it was empty and secluded.

"No it's not." She said softly. She was even beautiful when she was quiet, it was amazing and frustrating how she made everything more pure just because of how graceful she did it and without even trying.

I thought the reason she brought me here was so she could yell at me and tell me how horrible of a person I was for doing that to her. But I decided to save her the trouble and continued my outburst.

"Listen I know you probably think I'm a freak okay! Who goes around kissing girls they just met in a fucking tree even though it all felt right. I'm sorry but can you just tell me what you want so we can make this whole working-in-the-same-plaza situation as manageable as possible because quite frankly I don't know if I can handle walking by your diner anymore knowing that all you'll see is this big softball junkie lesbian strutting around!"

I had to breathe in deeply to catchy my break from the word vomit that I had thrown at Brittany. She stood there staring at me still and didn't even flinch throughout the entire rant. She kept her eyes locked and I felt immediately unworthy. It was scary how they pierced but made me feel so fluid and free all at once.

She finally spoke up after a moment passed, "You wanna know what I have on my mind?" she asked, returning to the question I initially asked her as if I didn't just yell at her.

Before I had a chance to retort to her brushing off my exclamation, she took a step and approached me slowly. Everything felt in slow motion as her gaze kept me frozen in place and she maneuvered herself closer to me. My heartbeat pounded like crazy and I felt the heat rush to my face as well as my breathing come to a complete stop in my chest.

Her face was right in front of mine, our noses almost touching, and she put her hands on my hips. With a small tug, she pulled my lower body toward her and locked our hips together, it made my heart flutter at how well they fit. She leaned in and ghosted her lips against mine, not making any contact as she said the words that broke me free from the high I was on in the moment.

"You"

She immediately pulled back from me and walked past me, heading back to the plaza.

I turned quickly snapped out of my trance and turned to look at her walk away but I knew she couldn't turn around to face me.

It wouldn't make sense for an angel to turn and face the harsh reality of the world as she ascended back to the heavens.


	12. If We Step Out On That Ledge

**Hello loveys! Update is finally here haha I know I said I'd update more since it's summer but I didn't realize how difficult my summer semester was going to be Dx Finally ahead in my classes though so updates are coming!  
****As always, much love to Courtney! Especially for making the amazing cover art for this story :)**

* * *

I stood at the same spot for a few minutes just replaying the scene in my head. It was too good to be true and I wondered for a moment if I just imagined it all. It wasn't just the way she grabbed my body towards hers and how close she got to kissing me, but it was what she said to me.

_You_

I kept replaying it over in my head and it only furthered my confusion. If she felt the same way - whatever this feeling was - then why did she pull away from me in the tree? It didn't make sense, it was all just too much.

Sighing slowly, I decided to head back to my store instead of standing at the scene of the crime. My body still felt like I was floating as I headed back to the store. I stopped right before I got inside and suddenly felt a powerful urge for more. It wasn't a craving or a desire, it was just a need for something to be in excess and it felt wrong to ignore the feeling. Turning, I ran straight for the diner without even thinking about what to say or what to do.

Running inside, I saw Brittany was back to work as well and was waiting on a table. I contemplated leaving before she saw me but I told myself to be strong and listen to my heart, despite the situations that I've been put in from doing that.

She turned to head back to the kitchen and flicked her eyes to me. She stopped for a moment, smiled sweetly, and continued her trek to the kitchen.

Was that is? She was just going to smile and walk away? No, I couldn't let that happen. I wouldn't. I-

"Hey!"

I looked over quickly and my face fell a little when I saw Matt standing behind the counter in front of me. He probably walked over while I was searching the room for Brittany and I really wasn't in the mood to have a chat with him.

"Hi" I responded with as much interest as I felt in the moment.

He tensed up a little at my rude response but kept the smile on his face a she continued, "Back already? Or did you come back for…another reason?"

I swear I saw a twinkle in his eyes when he said the last part, I felt like gagging. He couldn't seriously think I came back to talk to _him_ of all people. I tried to maintain at least semi-reasonable and not tear him down with my words.

"Yeah, I um…" I began and luckily my brain decided to work quickly, "I left something here earlier and I was gonna ask Brittany if she found it."

"What was it?" Matt asked immediately and almost sounded a bit worried.

_Fuck_. Now I have to actually think of something that was worth coming back to find. He was definitely not making this situation easier on me at all.

"It was my…phone." I spat out since it was the first thing that came to mind.

He eyed down my body to my hand that was pressed on the counter – holding my phone. His eyes wandered back up quickly and his expression said enough that he didn't even need to articulate how stupid I sounded.

"I have two." I said quickly and crossed my arms, as if hiding my phone would make my case more believable.

He didn't say anything for another moment as he registered the ridiculous scenario I just made but before he could say anything a voice echoed through the store.

"Matt! Come back the orders are piling up!"

Matt turned to the source of the call and then turned back to me, as if asking permission to leave. I nodded and he headed back to the kitchen. Was he supposed to be back there? I hope he hadn't come to the counter just to talk to me. Now that I thought about it, I realized that when he came over he only spoke to me, he didn't actually _do_ anything. I let the thoughts slip away as I saw him tap Brittany on the shoulder right before he headed inside the kitchen. He pointed toward me and then went inside as she turned to me and walked over.

I held my breath for a moment. It was only a few seconds but I needed to store as much as I could if I wanted to last through what was to come. When she got to the counter she smiled sweetly, as if she could smile any other way, and asked, "Hey, need something?"

I didn't know what to say at first. I but my bottom lip under my teeth and fidgeted with my polo collar. Of course there was something I needed. What I needed was answers, what I needed was an explanation, what I needed was the truth. But I knew that saying all those things were too vague and I just answered in the best way I knew that summed up all those desires.

"You"

She looked shocked at what I said at first but then her face calmed and she laughed a little, looking down and shaking her head slightly.

"Santana…" she began with a small sigh.

"What're you trying to accomplish here?" I asked bluntly, but not coldly, "You're playing this come here, go away game with me and I don't know where I sit with you. Do you…are we…" I got caught up in my thoughts and feelings and hoped that she would understand what I needed to hear.

"It's difficult to explain okay?" She said with a small sigh. It broke my heart to hear her sound so vulnerable, but I needed to get to the bottom of this.

"Then try! Please! This is all getting too ridiculous for me to just ignore." I begged loudly, leaning over the counter and earning a few confused glances from the customers.

Brittany turned and noticed the unwanted attention that we were creating from the scene and looked back at me with pleading eyes. I knew she wasn't going to say anything so I continued with the same authoritative tone, "I thought we were just friends and when I tried to…you pull away and then you do _that_ to me?" I kept it as vague as possible because I knew that probably most of the people could hear me but I was too worked up to quiet down.

She looked down and flicked her fingers over the edge of the counter nervously. Apologizing was the first thing that came into my mind but I knew I needed to be aggressive and try to get some answers. Some _anything_ honestly. At this rate however, I knew she wasn't going to say anything.

"Fine" I said sternly which caused her to looked back up at me with a small pout on her face. Her fucking cuteness almost won me over but I stayed strong.

I turned around, frustrated and headed for the exit when she called out to me.

"Wait!"

I turned around, finally noticing the eyes of the confused audience we had, and then looked to Brittany who walked over to me slowly, "Santana…can we talk later?"

"Will we actually talk or what?" I asked while gripping at my jean loops. Usually when I was really frustrated I throw my hands around and yell but I kept myself tame. It was killing me inside every moment I saw her eyebrows narrow in sadness.

"I promise we will okay?" She said and raised her first up, extending her pinky.

I looked at it curiously and then glanced at her. She smiled widely, her sadness fading off her face, and I couldn't help but smile myself at the adorable gesture she was attempting.

The Santana Lopez I used to be would have pushed her hand away and stormed outside without even thinking of looking back. Brittany was doing something to me and I was scared of how much it was changing me. But maybe it wasn't changing me, maybe it was just making me into a better person.

As I wrapped my pinky around hers, it took all my willpower not to kiss her again. I ached for her touch that I encountered so many times but never got to fully appreciate it. First at the party, then in the tree at the park, and then by the death seat. It was all becoming increasingly intimate and I finally understood what my need for more was coming from. I didn't want answers, I didn't want truths, I didn't want any of that.

I just wanted her.

.~

A few hours passed as I mindlessly stocked items on the shelves. Half of them were probably in the wrong spots but I honestly didn't care at this point. All this emotional turmoil was really getting to me and I just wished for a breather from all of it. But as my mother always said, be careful what you wish for.

"Hello!"

That voice.

"Excuse me?"

I tilted my head upward just enough to catch the loud brunette standing right next to me, staring down at me at my spot on the floor. I was going to say something back, but instead I just stood up from my crouched position and the height I gained over her said enough.

She faltered a little as I stared down at her but straightened up just as quickly and asked me, "I need to speak to your manager right now! My interview starts in three minutes and I don't want him to think lowly of my late arrival."

Late? But she just got here early. I decided to ignore it and pressed another issue on her, "Why are you asking me? You shoulda asked the dinosaur up front."

She tilted her head slightly in confusion. I know she knew who I meant but she probably didn't want to sound rude by replying to his pseudonym so I clarified a little better for her.

"Tall boy. Goofy smile. Spiked up hair." I was being very, _very_ generous with my description.

"Oh you mean Finn?" She chimed up with a large grin.

I raised my eyebrow and nodded slowly at the fact she knew his name. It seemed a little strange as well as creepy.

"I did ask him but he looked just told me that when girls speak to him too fast he gets confused and doesn't know how to reply without accidentally offending them so he told me to find you, Santana." She explained to me without looking away from me, the eye contact was a little scary. But not nearly as scary as how she knew my name.

"Wait, how'd you know my name?"

"I took the liberty to make note of it yesterday because I realized that when I start working it will be easier to communicate and run things smoothly if I learned all your names quickly-"

I stuck my finger up to shut her up and it worked flawlessly as she waited for me to reply but I instead just sighed loudly, "Okay, Cherry-"

"Actually my name is Rachel Berr-"

"Midget, listen here okay? I understand you've got your agenda all figured out here. My manager is most likely going to hire you because of how goddamn persistent you are and how easy going he is. But take note of this because I'm not repeating this, if you make my work place _any_ more of a living hell than it already is I'll make sure you regret applying your fucking life around this shitty job every damn day I have to waste around you, do I make myself clear?" I pulled my finger down and crossed my arms, waiting for the aftershock to hit.

Rachel stared at the ground and her shoulders bucked a few times followed by a few muffled sounds. Within a few moments she was full on crying.

Fuck.

Widening my eyes, I looked around nervously. My arms were up but I was in such a state of shock that they just waved around aimlessly as I tried to figure out what was happening. Was she actually crying? I thought she would just understand and back off.

Her crying grew louder and my heart started to race because I knew that someone was going to hear it. Should I comfort her? Oh god no I wouldn't even know where to start. I decided I should probably just leave and let her…express. But before I had a chance to move, Quinn popped around the corner hurriedly. Her face went from worry to frustration when she saw me.

"Santana! What did you do to her!" Quinn called out aggressively and walked over to Rachel. She put her arm around her and rocked her back and forth slowly.

"I didn't do anything! She just broke down crying because I laid the truth on her is all." I felt completely idiotic letting those words escape my mouth, but for a moment it did sound legitimate.

Not to Quinn though. Never to Quinn.

"Then why is she crying in front of _you_?" Quinn asked emphasizing on the very last word harshly as she cooed soft words into Rachel's ear to calm her down.

"Because she barley knows me and isn't use to how I function yet." I said straightforwardly as if it was a completely reasonable alibi.

Quinn rolled her eyes and pushed against the small of Rachel's back, leading her towards the bathrooms but not without shooting me another quick glare.

That was it, I was so sick of everything today. How is it that I've been working all day and not one instance of extreme frustration was caused by a customer? I decided it would be better if I just took my break now and cooler down a bit.

Heading to the front, I walked by Finn who looked like he wanted to ask me something but my angry trot riled up his reluctance. Stopping right next to the counter and turning to face him, I raised my eyebrow and nodded my head forward, "Yes?"

He backed up a little and looked off to the side nervously, stringing his thoughts together before asking me, "Did you see that new girl? She was looking for you."

"Oh, you mean the midget? Yeah I saw her." I caught myself before I let him know what happened after our encounter. It was bad enough that Quinn witnessed how quickly I hurt Rachel and I didn't want anyone else finding out.

"Okay cool." He said with a small smile forming. He looked a little _too_ pleased and it made me a little more curious to uncover what was going on in his head. He must have caught on because he quickly turned and ducked behind the counter, grabbing at the box cutter on his belt and opening up some boxes that lay on the floor.

I couldn't help but laugh a little at his attempt to divert himself from conversation, "I'm gonna take my fifteen now okay?" I called above him and patted the counter twice to further instate what I had said. He looked up from his position and nodded, "You mean your _twenty_?"

I rolled my eyes and headed for the front door, but not without letting my middle finger show Finn where the ceiling is located as I exited the store.

When I was outside I rounded the corner and plopped myself on the bench. It took all my willpower not to turn my gaze to the diner to try to spot Brittany through the windows. Earlier at the diner I noticed how easy it was to see this bench from the inside. It made me feel a little embarrassed since I had assumed the windows were tinted and I was never very cautious with my leering.

I dug into my bag and pulled out a box of Marlboros but my excitement faded quickly when I realized that the box was empty. With a loud sigh I tilted my head against the wall, slumped further into the bench, and closed my eyes.

I was brought back to reality when I felt a pressure against my nose. I crinkled my nose to try to push away the pressure but it only grew with each crinkle I did. I opened one eye and smirked to see Puck standing in front of me, nudging my nose with a cigarette.

I leaned my head forward and grabbed the cigarette from him quickly, "About time you paid me back!" I said with as much sweetness as I could give in the moment.

Puck leaned against a shopping cart and nodded as he pulled a lighter out of his pocket and lit the cigarette that was wedged between his lips. He chucked his lighter at me and I barley grabbed it before it slammed me in the chest. I lit the one he had given me and we were in our own cloud of euphoria. None of us said anything but I felt very comfortable in this silence. Puck was one of those guys that had a big mouth but he knew the right situations to keep it shut. I definitely appreciated a quality like that.

"Mr. Shue likes the new girl." He finally spoke up, fiddling with the metal band on the shopping cart handle.

"Are you serious?" I responded with an angry grunt following my statement. I really didn't like anything about that girl.

"Yeah, I just walked out of the office a little before you came out here and I overheard him talking about her to the other manager." He said this and wheeled the cart toward the store but didn't make the complete effort to connect it with the other carts outside.

"But she's so irritating! I would hate to have to hear that annoying ass voice every damn day I worked here." I responded and stood up. Whenever I got upset I felt the need to elevate my body and sitting just never seemed like the best position to be in when riled up.

Puck merely shrugged and inhaled more of his cigarette. He exhaled and waited a bit before finally saying, "She seemed cool."

I shot him a judgmental glare and he responded by laughing and shaking his head, "Hey hey come on, she's nothing like _Santana Lopez_ that's for sure, but she does seem to be pretty nice. I don't think that girl knows how to stop smiling."

That remark made my stomach drop a little and my head tipped down slightly. I have seen that smile fade and develop into an even worse expression. I didn't feel bad for what I said as much as how personally she had taken it. This meant that if she ended up getting hired, then I'd have to change the way I spoke around her.

As if that was going to happen.

.~

I slumped down on my bed when I arrived at home. It seemed like my summer was turning into a complete roller coaster with all these different spiraling emotions I'm forced to encounter. After my break with Puck I made sure to stay in the very back of the store in order to avoid Rachel. Even after I knew she was long gone from her interview, I still wanted to avoid Quinn for a little while to keep from being forced to listen to one of her lectures on being a better person.

The only plus side to the rest of my shift, if this can even be considered a plus, was getting a text from Brittany asking me to meet her at the Seven Eleven at ten. I knew it was pretty late to meet her and I could have postponed our discussion until tomorrow but I really needed to talk to her. It was all just so confusing because I had no idea what she was going to tell me. Is she semi-interested? Is she taken? Is she as confused as I am about this or does she have it all figured out?

The more I questioned myself the more frustrated I got. I rolled out of bed and started pulling out clothing to wear, but stopped after I glanced at myself in the mirror. I was wearing sweats and a t-shirt, the same attire I wore when I first saw her at Seven Eleven a few weeks ago. I also wasn't sporting anymore make-up, but something felt right about going to her naturally. I heard the front door slam shut, followed by loud laughter.

Curiously, I treaded out of my door to the top of the stairs and glanced over the railing. My mother was stumbling inside slowly and waved at someone before closing the door in their face. I ran downstairs and grabbed her arm, "Mom…Mom!" I had to shake her to get her to look at me but was not expecting the wave of alcohol to him me when she turned to me.

"Santanaaaaa!" She yelled with a large grin and hugged me. I stood in shock and pulled away from the hug quickly. I've seen my mother drunk and I never had a problem with it, but she was supposed to be at work today.

"Mom, didn't you have work today?" I questioned her slowly without jumping to any conclusions. I assumed whoever dropped her off was a coworker but no one from my mother's profession would let her do this to herself.

I heard a car start and drive off, however I was too focused on figuring out the situation at hand that I didn't bother trying to figure out who it was.

She nodded and stumbled back on her heel a little, causing me to lunge forward and grab her arms in an effort to stabilize her. She tilted her head back and laughed out loud before narrowing her eyes and leaning forward.

"I did earlierrr but I got off early sweetieeee…" She said, elongating every few words and tilted her body in a different direction every time she did so. It made it harder for me to keep her steady and I was slowly getting more frustrated.

She looked up at me and furrowed her eyebrows together as if contemplating something and then made her curiosity audible, "Santana hooooney, I didn't think you were home. I didn't…didn't see your car outsiiide."

I cocked my head to the side and looked out the window quickly, but it was too dark to see. I held her steady and leaned over to hit the light switch that turned on the outside lantern. My car was parked outside right where I left it when I got home.

My mother pointed out the window authoritatively and almost shouting, "See! There's only the red one outsiiide! I didn't think you were hooome so I…so I…" She looked off to the side to retrace her clearly derailed train of thought and turned back to me, "I thought it…was okay to this…come home like this."

I shook my head and stepped back from her a little. How drunk was she? The better question would be _who_ got her this drunk but I figured that I would inquire about that when she was a more able body.

"Mom…." I began slowly, trying to be as gentle as I could, "My car _is_ the red one."

She stood still for a moment then burst out laughing when the realization hit her. She shook her head and turned around, stumbling towards the couch.

Grabbing my keys, I headed out the door and stood in front of my car. Instead, I sighed and jammed the keys in my pocket and decided to walk to Seven Eleven.

I needed to clear my head.

.~

Arriving thirty minutes early, I didn't really know what to do until Brittany got there so I decided to do the best time-killing activity I could think of.

_Flick_

I inhaled slowly and sat on the curb. This wasn't only for killing time but also to get rid of the stress I had. Seeing my mother so drunk was not something I was new to, she used to always be a party animal but she cleaned up her act when she got her job. I haven't seen her drunk in years so this was still somewhat of a shock to me.

Exhaling, I looked up at the sky. There were so many stars out, it was such a beautiful night. Since it was later in the evening, there were fewer lights on so the stars were easier to make out.

I heard a car door shut and turned my head quickly to see the source of the noise. Brittany walked towards me sheepishly and had a small smile on her face. She waved her hand at me quickly and I waved right back, standing up.

There was a silence that followed all too quickly. Neither of us knew how to approach the topic and beating around the bush wasn't an option at this point. We both knew exactly why we were here.

"Follow me?" She asked quietly and slowly headed down the street.

I dropped my cigarette and crushed it beneath my shoe then hurried behind her to follow her. We walked side by side in silence and it all felt so out of place. A part of me told me to keep the quiet going to show that I was serious and upset, but the other part of me was the part that always gave into Brittany.

"How was work?" I questioned without looking at her. I keep my gaze on the floor as we headed down the sidewalk.

She seemed happy that I broke the ice because she chirped up quickly with a response, "It was pretty fun actually! We had a kid come in for his birthday party since he really loved how our cinnamon pancakes taste and they left a huge mess but were so adorable."

I smiled when she finished, it was so difficult to stay mad at her when she was so damn cute. Having her walk so close to me was making me so nervous as well and I needed to keep talking to not let my nerves get the better of me as they tend to.

"That sounds fun, I don't know how you can handle kids, they're just so obnoxious." I began and looked down at her hand. An impulsive idea sprang into my mind to grab her hand. Should I? It was so close, so inviting, but I shook my head free of the idea and continued, "W-we had a girl come in for a job interview. I think she's gonna get the job."

"Is that bad?" Brittany asked as we turned the corner and headed for the area I assumed she was leading us. The park.

"Well it is when the person applying is irritating as hell." I said with a small chuckle, but my smile faded when we were standing next to the all-too-familiar tree in silence.

I turned to Brittany and met her eyes for the first time the entire night. It made my heart skip a beat to see how intensely she was staring at me.

I cleared my throat and began, "Okay Brittany…let's get this over with okay? What…do you feel about me? I mean…I think how I feel is pretty blatant." I stick my hands in my sweatpants pockets and shuffled a little, leaning back against the tree. I was getting really anxious. "I mean I assumed you weren't interested but earlier today on the death seat…"

I kept trailing off my sentences to give her an opportunity to jump in an answer but she just stood there watching me dance in my anxiety. She took a step forward and I shot my head up to look at her. Immediately I felt my heart hammering in my chest and my limbs were paralyzed.

"Santana…" She began as she kept walking forward towards me. With every step she took, no matter how big it was, I grew more nervous, "It's hard to explain how I feel. I pulled away that other night in the tree because it was all…just happening so suddenly that I hadn't even thought of that…of _us._"

I stayed leaned against the tree watching her. Before I knew it, she was standing in front of me. She brought one hand up and ran her palm down my cheek. When she got to my jaw she used her fingers to tilt my head up and look at her. It felt like all the oxygen in the world was being sucked out of it, leaving me breathless and lost. The moment my eyes met hers though, I knew everything felt right.

"So…what now." I barley breathed out as we continued our stare-down. She didn't respond but instead leaned forward slowly. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips against mine, pushing my head back slowly until it was leaning against the tree. I felt my heart melt and reform so many times, I had wanted this for so long and now here it was. I licked her bottom lip and pulled it between my lips. We kissed for what felt like an eternity but I couldn't help myself. Her lips were so warm and wet, I just wanted to kiss them all night.

I pulled my hands out of my pockets and grabbed her cheeks, pulling her in closer and kissing her more passionately. Our tongues wrestled in our mouths and we went from sweet gentle kisses to aggressive sloppy ones. I felt my stomach flip a little and I knew I was getting so incredibly turned on. I moaned in her mouth and moved my hands to grab her hips and pull her closer to me.

She pulled away from me suddenly when I did this and I was worried that I had done something wrong or made her uncomfortable, but the sly smirk on her face made me think otherwise.

"Wanna come over?"


	13. Be So Intense With Me

**Sorry for the cliffhanger! I know I keep making those haha.**

**Enjoy ;)**

* * *

Time went by faster than I had ever known as possible and before I knew it we were at her doorstep. She lived down the street from the Seven Eleven so walking to her home took no less than ten minutes but in all honestly it felt like only a few seconds had gone by. My mind was racing with the possibility of what was going to happen.

We entered into her home and it was dead silent as we made our way inside. I assumed her family was asleep but I didn't bother to ask since she grabbed my arm and pulled me down the hall. Her house was very cute and clean, a typical one-story home but it had a cozy set up. We rounded the hallway and entered into her room. It was just as tidy as the rest of her home and looked just like a teenager girl's room should. Pink was the prominent color that was notable throughout, which was the complete opposite of my darker, meek room. She also had photos posted all over the walls.

It took me a moment to really allow the reality of the situation to sink in. Just a few weeks ago I was eyeing this girl from a bench thinking she was so adorable and now here I was in her room with her, alone.

Brittany shut the door behind her and stood in front of it for a moment before turning to face me. Her eyes were still the mystic blue they always were, but they looked a little different now. They were flickering with lust and I knew exactly what she had on her mind.

As she walked towards me, she grabbed at the waistband of my sweatpants and yanked me towards her. I had never seen her as a dominant type but I guess she had no choice in the matter because of how still I had become.

She tilted my chin up and brought her face close to mine, too close to mine. I closed my eyes and braced for another impact with her lips when suddenly she pulled away from me. I darted my eyes open and saw her wiggle her eyebrows seductively, "I'm gonna freshen up a little bit if that's okay with you?" She smiled and leaned in again before pulling back and heading into the bathroom that was connected to her room.

I exhaled loudly, feeling as if I had been holding my breath for hours. This was really happening. She had said the most cliché pre-sex line I knew and I wasn't completely sure that this was okay. We finally kissed with both sides consenting for the first time and now here we were in her room. I suddenly felt naked and vulnerable even though I was fully clothed. Maybe we were just going to kiss and then I would go home. I didn't think I wanted to do anything more. So many thoughts were running through my head that I wasn't sure what I really wanted. One thing for sure was that I wanted more time to think, but that idea was cut short when the bathroom door opened.

I turned my head and my breath hitched in my throat at the sight of her. She was wearing nothing but a pink polka dot bra and laced panties. Holy shit, she was definitely thinking about a lot more than I had planned. I tried not to look so scared and smiled lightly at her.

"Someone's looking pretty sexy." I said finally as she leaned back against the wall.

She smiled an adorable smile and it completely tore away the tension that had been created with my hesitation. She eyed me and I knew she wanted me to make a move to show just_ how_ sexy I thought she was. I could see it all in her eyes and I knew I needed to do this. I've wanted this for so long and to see that she wanted it just as much made my heart flip. All those times I was worried that she would think I'm creepy or weird were conquered by the realization that she wanted me just as much as I wanted her.

I approached her and pushed her back against the wall lightly. Whenever I had sex it was usually aggressive and rough but something about Brittany's softness made me want to be gentle and have every touch count. I stroked my hand down her chest and over her abs. I looked up at her and locked eyes with her, which triggered her to buck her hips forward into mine. I smiled and leaned in finally making the contact I had been itching to feel. My lips hungrily collided with hers. I tore my tongue through her mouth and sucked on her lips, but she was just as passionate and eager to be in control.

I felt her hands reach for the hem of my sweater and she pealed it off me slowly. I pulled back from her and helped take it off as well as my shirt. I looked down and pulled down my sweats, but as I was going to go back into the previous position she darted toward me and we toppled back onto her bed. Her legs straddled my hips and every part of me felt warm. We were both just in our bra and panties and she was on top of me, eyeing me with so much desire.

She leaned down and kissed me softly. Our lips danced together slowly and I couldn't help but grip her hips and pull them into me. She pulled away from me and smiled softly at me again. Seeing her smile between these intimate moments made me feel even giddier about the situation. I knew she wanted to be rough with me but she must have seen the reluctance in my eyes when she stepped out of the bathroom and settled on a softer approach.

She leaned down further this time and her lips kissed gentle down my neck. My body shuddered for a moment, feeling her fully against me and her lips licking and sucking down my neck and toward my collarbone. Her hips thrust into mine for a moment and I let out a quick muffled groan. She giggled a little and continued to suck along my neck, but with a little more pressure as her hand threaded over my stomach, inching lower. My mouth widened from the sensation and I let out another moan.

She was good at this and seemed to know how to tease as well as stay in control even though I was a girl. Wait, had she done this with girls before? I knew for a fact she wasn't a virgin because of how confident her advances were but thinking of her with another girl made me suddenly feel uneasy. Not only was someone dominating me something that never happens, but I figured that this would be something new for us both since I've never been with a girl. I felt embarrassed and insecure about my abilities in comparison to hers and sat up quickly.

She sat up and eyed me with a confusion and apologetic stare, "Santana…are you okay?"

I realized this was the first thing she had said to me since she got out of the bathroom and it all seemed too much for me. This was happening too quickly and I didn't think I wanted this. Well no, I did want this but I pictured it happening so differently.

I looked up at her and sighed quietly before spilling my feelings, "I'm fine yes but…Brittany you have no idea how much I've thought about this and now here we are…I…" I paused to try to gather my thoughts. She sat patiently and waited for me, rubbing her hand in circles on my shoulder to reassure that I could take my time. She didn't pressure me to answer immediately and it helped me finally piece my words properly, "It just seemed so fast and you…"

"I'm just as nervous you know." She said as her hand moved to stroke my back.

"I know I just…I never freeze up like this. I don't know why I'm being so…not sexy." I said and my face flushed a little at how open that statement became.

She giggled a little and gave me a quick peck on the cheek, "It's because I'm a girl right? No pressure San, I just got a little excited and I'm really horny so that probably didn't help." She paused and I couldn't help but smile at how adorable her statement was. She leaned in and pecked me on the lips, but this time keeping her face close to mine, "And I think you're very sexy."

I sighed lightly, feeling her light kisses made me feel better each time, "Thank you. I was worried you'd think I was lame for being so nervous. Is this your first time…" I gestured a finger between us both to try to imply what I meant.

She shook her head and looked down, scratched a spot on her bed between our legs which I assumed was a habit she had when she was getting nervous, "I've been with one girl before you. It wasn't too serious but we did date for a little while." She scratched more and then started drawing circles on the spot, "But…I have been with guys before."

I nodded and I knew by her silence that I should have answered the same question, "I've been with guys too…but never with a girl."

There was another silence that filled the room and it was a little tense as neither of us knew what to do. I wanted to keep talking about our feelings to each other but I didn't know if that was appropriate given our position. She finally shifted off of me and got off the bed. She opened her drawer and pulled out a plain white tank-top and blue shorts that had ducks on them. Seeing her adorable pajamas made me laugh a little until I realized what she was doing.

"Wait Britt," I began and waited for her to turn around. I blushed a little more because I was too nervous earlier to fully take in how gorgeous her body was, "Are you…okay with _this_?" I kept the question as vague as possible so she knew what I had meant without having to fully explain myself.

She threw her tank-top on and pulled her shorts up as I waited for her answer. She walked to her drawer again and pulled out another tank-top and a pair of shorts that had little pigs on them. I tilted my head curiously as she walked to the bed and sat cross-legged across from me, placing the clothing on my lap.

"I'm fine with whatever you're fine with," she began and played with the string of her shorts, "If you wanna do _stuff_ then I'm fine with that but if you don't feel ready then that's okay too. I don't want you to feel pressured into anything and you'd totally look awesome in my pajamas anyway."

I laughed at her comment and bunched up the clothing in my hand. I mouthed a 'thank you' to her and got off her bed, walking to the bathroom to change. After a few minutes I came back out with a large pout on my face.

"What's wrong?" She asked with a worried look. She was already settled under the covers and left a large portion of her bed for me.

"Pig pajamas? What're you implying?" I asked with a whiney tone and we both burst out into a small fit of laughter right after the words escaped my mouth. I walked towards her bed and settled in next to her. She turned to me and nudged me with her elbow, "I mean look at you! You're taking up all the space geez"

I smirked and started tickling her side, "Well if I'm so huge then I guess I gotta get you off this bed!"

She started laughing louder and I knew I had to stop incase her family were to hear us and wake up. She breathed heavily when I pulled my hands away and I laid down flat on the bed, facing the ceiling. It was hard to believe that only about five minutes ago we were about to have sex and instead of kicking me out, she let me stay over. It made me beyond happy that she put that much care into the friendship we have and the confusion I was going through.

My thoughts were interrupted as I felt a head lay on my chest. I looked down at the same time that Brittany looked up at me and she smiled. Her eyes were full of the genuine happiness I was accustomed to seeing and I was relieved that the look of lust was gone. I leaned down and kissed her forehead and laughed a little to see her pout. I leaned in again and kissed her on the lips – she was too adorable to pass up.

"Thank you" I said after a moment of silence and gazing at the ceiling.

"For what?" She asked while she snuggled closer to me

"For being…you" I said plainly as if it was the most obvious answer. I didn't know how else to word it. If I were to explain all the things I was thankful for then I know she'd probably think I was crazy or I thought about things too much. The truth was I appreciated every little thing she did for me, despite how insignificant it may seem.

She laughed a little against my chest which caused me to shiver from her warmth breath and I wrapped an arm around her back, pulling her closer to me.

I felt my eyelids get heavy and I was about to fall asleep when I heard Brittany groan. I immediately shot my eyes open and looked down at her head. She didn't turn up to meet my eyes but instead just blurted out, "We didn't turn the lights off…"

I was so tired and deep in thought that I hadn't realized the bright lights above us that were blaring down on us. I laughed and shook her a little, "Care to do the honors?"

"But you're the guest!"

"But…guests shouldn't be the ones to-"

"I don't care. You're the big piggy who needs to work out anyway."

I laughed at her comment and immediately started tickling her again. Her body jolted and she shot to the side, scrambling off the bed, "Not fair!" she groaned with a frown and I turned my body and got off the bed as well.

I walked around to her side and before she had a chance to say anything I pulled her in for a hug. It shocked me that I had never hugged her before but I knew that was definitely going to change. She was so warm and my head fit snugly in the crook of her neck. I turned my head and inhaled her scent slightly without it being too noticeable.

I felt her relax in my arms for a little while until her hands rubbed down my sides and tickled me. I pushed away from her and laughed, falling over onto her bed.

"That's not nice!" I began my rant as Brittany quickly ran to hit the light switch and run back to me, "I was trying to be all cute over here and have an emotional moment and you gotta ruin-"

I was cut off by lips being shoved into mine. I was surprised she was able to find them in the dark and I smiled into her mouth as I kissed her back. I pulled her back onto the bed but twisted myself so I was on top of her this time. Having clothing on made me feel more comfortable and I kissed her gently. I couldn't stop smiling and I knew she could tell because after a while our kissing turned into us smiling into each others' mouths and holding one anther.

I can't remember the last time I felt so happy.

.~

In the morning I awoke to a soft sensation nuzzling my nose. I smiled before I opened my eyes, remembering where I was. I lifted my arms up to try to grab whatever was above me and was confused to feel fur. The pressure on my chest wasn't very strong either and I opened my eyes to see a cat sitting on my chest pawing at my nose.

"W-What the fuck!" I yelled and sat up quickly. My suddenly movement caused the cat to scurry off of me, well considering how big it was the scurry was more of a shuffle, and leaped off the bed.

Laughing was the next thing I heard and I quickly darted my head to the side to see Brittany sitting at her desk with a bowl in her hand, giggling at my reaction. I sighed and plopped myself back onto her bed. Streams of light poured in from her curtain and her bed was so comfortable that I didn't want to get up.

"I'm sorry" I heard her say as she got up from her desk and walked over to the bed, sitting next to me and nudging me with a bowl, "it was too adorable to pass up and I wanted you two to get acquainted."

I sat back up to look into the bowl and raised my eyebrows in confusion at the contents. It was completely filled up with marshmallows, the ones that come in the Lucky Charms cereal. I probed at it with my finger and looked up at her, "Britt…why is this only marshmallows?"

Her contorted look made me regret asking her, "You know how much better this tastes without those weird grains inside of it right? Go on try it!"

I hesitated at first and then grabbed the spoon she offered with her other hand. I scooped it inside the bowl and tilted my head a little when I realized there was no milk in the bowl.

"Britt is there no milk?" I asked turned to look back to her

She nodded and smiled widely, that grin silenced me and I scooped the spoon in my mouth. If it made her happy to see me wake up and the first thing I ate was a spoonful of marshmallows then I'd do it. I couldn't believe how damn whipped I was, but I tried not to see it that way and instead saw it as a way to get that smile across her face as often as possible.

"You want more?" She asked, nudging me with the bowl more and I shook my head lightly.

"Thank you though." I responded and we stared at each other for a moment. The gaze only lasted for a few seconds as we both leaned in at the same time and kissed each other. It felt like we were dancing around the thought for a moment and now that we finally got the desire out of our system I felt a lot more at ease.

As I pulled back I caught a glimpse of her clock and did a double take, my mouth dropping.

1:35 PM

"Wait, wait its ONE? It's one in the afternoon are you serious?" I practically yelled as I leapt off her bed and ran to grab my clothing off her floor.

She got up off her bed and stood behind me as I quickly changed out of her clothing and into the clothes I wore when I came over. I scrambled to put on my shoes and finally realized that she had moved off the bed.

"Sorry, I just, I need to go" I said in between grunts as I forced my shoes on. "but I have work at three and I need to be home before work starts."

She nodded and walked to the bed to grab the bowl of 'cereal' and the spoon I had practically spilled when I got off the bed.

I paused for a moment and looked up at her, a thought running through my mind, "is anyone home?"

"My parents are at work and my sister is at a friend's house." She said, tossing marshmallows into her mouth and throwing some on the floor that the cat would paw at and then eat.

I decided to not question it and stood up when I finally got my shoes on properly, "Did they come in while I was asleep?"

Her eyes said enough when she realized what I was getting at with my question. They went from wide in understanding to gentle and she shook her head, "No they didn't don't worry."

I sighed in relief when she said that. The way that my clothing was scattered on the floor and the way we had fallen asleep would definitely look a little suspicious. I don't know anything about her parents or whether they were accepting of Brittany's sexuality but I definitely didn't want to leave a bad first impression on them. I felt bad staying the night without introducing myself but we did get back late.

She walked me downstairs and offered to drive me to my car. I thought about it for a moment and decided it would make my route a lot easier if I did, and I also wanted to spend as much time as I could with her before we had to part ways.

When we arrived at Seven Eleven I was surprised to see that my car didn't have a ticket on it. I leaned against the driver's side door and smiled at her. We stared at each other's eyes for a small period of time, unsure of how to leave each other. She stepped toward me and I looked up at her quickly. I wanted to kiss her, I really did, but I didn't know how I felt about kissing each other in public just yet. Our past situations had always been in private and now here we were at a relatively crowded public area in broad daylight and I know she wanted to kiss me goodbye.

She wasn't going to initiate it though. Ever since last night I could tell she was being more apprehensive about anything intimate. I eyed around and saw that there were people around who had a plain sight of us. As I wrestled the pros and cons of taking this chance I felt Brittany's arms wrap around me tightly.

"I'll see you soon?" She asked as she pulled away and smiled a forced smile at me.

"Of course, I'll text you when I get bored at work." I responded and felt a little guilty since my hesitation caused her to settle on a hug.

"So when you're at work then?" She teased and stood in front of me awkwardly for a moment before nodding and turning to go back to her car. She walked slowly and I knew if I just ran to her I could stop her and show her how badly I wanted to kiss her.

Instead I got into my car and waved at her as she left to go back to her house. I cursed myself for being so worried about what other people thought of me. Who cares if two girls are kissing? Even if someone had a problem with it, it wouldn't change my feelings for her. I know she wasn't disappointed in me but I hate seeing her smile when it wasn't genuine.

I pulled out of Seven Eleven and headed for my house, the more I thought about it the worse I felt and I knew no matter what it wasn't nearly as bad as I made Brittany feel.

.~

I arrived at work a few minutes before three and smiled at Finn as I walked by the register. He raised his eyebrow at me and greeted me with a side smile. I kept walking to get to the hallway and stared ahead confused at why he was looking at me like that.

I entered the office and ran into Mr. Schue who was holding some paperwork in his hand, "Santana! Just the girl I was looking for." He smiled and then his hesitated for a moment as he stared at me and then quickly continued his statement, but his hesitation was long enough to catch my attention, "Well I just wanted to let you know that all the candy we have on register one is on promotion so try to sell as much as you can today. Finn was able to sell about twenty but I know you can beat his score."

I was still confused about why he had given me that look but I just nodded at him instead, "Yeah, sure, I'll do my best." I said and he smiled, walking out the door. I stood in front of the time clock and waited for three o'clock to hit.

I heard beeping on the door and I assumed it was Mr. Schue coming back in because he forgot something but instead it was Quinn. I was happy to see her and she shared a look equally as glad until she got close to me.

"Hey…" she began and her excitement trailed off as she stared at me. I glared and my shoulder sunk.

"Why the hell is everyone looking at me like that? Is there something on my face or something?" I barked at her which caused her to jolt up a little from how loud I got.

"Calm down Santana," Quinn began and I realized that her eyes were locked onto my neck, "But it's hard not to stare at _that_." She titled her head, pointing with her nod toward the area she stared at.

Frustrated, I turned quickly and looked at the mirror we had in the office. My body froze when I saw the source of the judgmental looks.

There on my neck were two gigantic, purple bruises. I knew exactly when and who I had gotten them from and my face flushed red.

When I had got home from Brittany's I didn't have time to shower because of how long I had spent rethinking about the events of the previous night. It was still so hard to believe that we're not just friends but we're even _more_ than that. I don't know how to label the relationship we had but I knew we were definitely no longer in the friend-zone. Through all my thinking and day dreaming about Brittany, I never really took the time to clean up and take a look at myself in the mirror. My hair was a little disheveled and I probably smelled bad too.

Quinn walked over to me as I stared at myself in the mirror and smiled, "Who's the luck guy?" she began and I twisted myself to look at her. I was about to say it. _Brittany_. But I knew I shouldn't.

"Your grandma is quite the dominant woman." I began and I knew I was safe from anymore explanation as she rolled her eyes and walked over to her locker.

After I clocked in I stepped outside of the hallway and headed for the register. As I approached it I walked by an all too familiar face and stopped to make sure I was seeing it correctly. There was annoying as hell Rachel stalking items on a shelf and humming a tune.

My mouth dropped and I realized that she was actually working here now. She was going to hang around me all day and I was going to have to deal with not only customers but _her _too. I shook my head and when I reached register one I was greeted by another smile from Finn. This time he didn't look as snarky though.

"You're free to go." I said as I walked past him to stand at the register. He moved aside and looked at me. I knew that he wanted to say something so I decided to help him articulate his thoughts in the best way I knew how.

"Spit it out hulk what did you wanna say?"

He stared off to the side and looked back at me, "We're official now."

I smiled at him widely and nudged him in the side with my elbow, but my face immediately dropped when I heard him finish his statement,

"Rachel and I."


	14. I Know That I'll Regret It

**New chapter :) I hope you guys enjoy it. I got a lot of positive messages about the last chapter so thank you so much!**

Always a big thanks to my motivator and amazing beta Courtney

* * *

"Ow! Santana what the hell?"

"Are you fucking serious right now Finn?"

Finn looked down at me with one eye closed from wincing at the sudden impact. My hands were both gripping onto the collar of his polo and shoving him against the wall. I kept my glare piercing through him.

"Yes! Why are you even upset about this? It's not something _bad_, I thought you'd be happy for me!" Finn argued back, eyeing around to see if any customers had a view of our situation.

"Why the _fuck_ would I be happy about that you idiot! What about Quinn and her feelings?" I yelled even louder at him. All control in my voice and demeanor were completely shot as my blood boiled.

Finn shoved my hands off finally and glared back at me. I knew he wasn't going to attempt to do anything back to me physically so I wasn't even intimidated by his advance toward me as he tried to make his eye contact just as powerful.

Before he had a chance to say anything, a customer walked over to the counter slowly. She was a middle-aged woman who seemed to be hesitant to try to communicate with either of us. I turned to look at her and eyed back to Finn. I gave in and turned around, walking away in an attempt to get as far away from him as I could.

"What's wrong Santana? Is everything okay? I heard you yelling." I heard a voice call to me as I stormed toward the hallway and turned to see Rachel eye me with concern.

I sighed loudly. Of all the people to try to comfort me, it had to be the source of the damn problem. I slowly approached her and right before I was going to let my frustrated spit all over her confidence again I saw Holly walk down the aisle. My face immediately softened at her appearance and I knew she was the only person around that I could have a civil conversation with. I had something to discuss with her anyway and this was the perfect opportunity. Also, if I was around Rachel any longer I might do some serious damage to her face.

I pushed past Rachel and walked straight to Holly. Her face altered from excitement to confusion as I grabbed her arm and led her down the aisle to the back of the store.

"Santana what's up?" She asked as we reached an area that was relatively empty.

"I just have a lot going on right now but I did want to talk to you about something in particular." I began as I glanced over my shoulder to see if anyone was around.

"That's fine but why were you glaring at the new girl? You looked like you were going to kill her." She said with an eyebrow raise and a small smile forming on her face.

I shook my head and sighed, "Don't worry about that I'm just not the biggest fan of her at the moment but it's okay that issue isn't as important as…well…"

I eyed around again and Holly laughed at my anxiety, "Santana, no one is around unless you're worried that these cereal boxes are going to listen in on us."

A goofy grin immediately consumed my face, "They'd probably only be upset that all their marshmallows were stolen."

Did I just say that? Oh god.

Holly's face said it all as her mouth gapped open slightly and her eyes lowered into a confused stare.

"Anyway," I tried to shake off the awkward aside and get back on topic, "You're…bisexual right?" I husked, basically whispering the last part of the second.

She nodded quickly with her confusion turning into confidence as she smiled slightly. She was so proud, it made me so damn jealous.

"Well, how did you know for _sure_ that you liked girls too and weren't just attracted to one?" I asked staring at the floor nervously.

"Oh my god Santana I'm like twice your age, but I'm flattered-"

"-No! I'm not talking about you!"

"Oh here we go now we're talking, who's the lucky girl?" she said with a wink as her hand stroked the side of my neck.

My hand shot to my neck to hide the marks Brittany had left hearing the familiar phrase I had heard from Quinn just a little while ago. A blush formed across my face and I tried to think of a valid excuse but my thoughts were cut short by Holly's loud laughter.

"Oh my god! Did someone finally tame the beast?" She practically yelled as she tried to stifle her laughter but obviously was having trouble doing so.

"Stop you're not exactly being helpful!" I replied with as much frustration as I could muster under all of my embarrassment.

"Listen Santana, I can give you a long speech about feelings and emotions but let me make this simple for you okay?" She said as she stepped towards me and gripped my shoulders. It caused me to look up at her and her stare made me freeze from how serious her eyes became.

"It doesn't matter who you're attracted to, ultimately it's about who you fall in love with."

With these words she let go of me and walked away, heading back down the aisle. I stood frozen for what felt like a few minutes in complete thought. She made it seem so simple and I know Brittany probably had the same mindset. If Brittany were in my shoes I know she wouldn't have thought twice about kissing me in the parking lot.

I walked to the stock room to stop myself from over thinking everything. It seemed sudden at first to confide in Holly about this but I knew she was someone who would keep a secret to her grave and I respected that about her. Also, speaking to adults always seemed like a more reliable source, especially considering all the idiots I surround myself with. I loaded a cart with random items on the belt that was cluttered with boxes and totes. I knew I had to be on register one but there was no way in hell I was going anywhere near Finn, he could probably get his new girlfriend to cover for him.

Just the thought of that made me shutter and I threw the boxes onto my cart. How could he do that to Quinn? I knew the other day that the way Finn spoke about Rachel seemed to be laced with so much interest but I had no idea they were even on speaking terms with each other. They probably hung out outside of work or something disgusting.

I rolled my cart and looked down to see what I had piled onto it and smirked to see it mainly consisted of all the 'adult' products. I was even a pervert subconsciously. As I turned to the aisle that housed the contents of my cart my stomach dropped.

Rachel was in the aisle piling up tampons and pantiliners onto the shelves clumsily. She literally looked like she had no idea what she was doing and I didn't want to be anywhere near _her_ as well but she spotted me and smiled. I rolled my eyes and wheeled down until our carts were side by side as I turned so our backs faced each other and started ripping open boxes.

The tension was tangible and I knew Rachel was scared to say anything even though she had no idea why I was upset at her. Why was I upset? It's not like she knew anything about Quinn's feelings for Finn. It just made me sick to my stomach to know that the girl that Quinn helped through her hurricane of tears the other day now had her hands all over her man.

"These all look exactly the same really. It's funny how there's so many different types of the same thing." She spoke up suddenly in an attempt to start conversation.

I looked over my shoulder at her and shrugged, even though I knew she couldn't see me, "Yeah that's basically everything in this store. Better get used to it."

She was silenced again for a moment from the sharpness in my tone. I could tell she was thinking of a different approach to talk to me. Why was she trying so hard?

"Finn's a really sweet guy."

My shoulders slumped and I gripped on the box in my hand tightly, prying small holes into the edges. She was quiet for a moment and then elaborated on her statement, "He asked me out in the cutest way yesterday! First we went to-"

"-I honestly couldn't give less of a fuck than I do now dwarf so why don't you can it?" I snapped back at her fiercely while swinging my entire body around to accentuate my frustration.

My eyes met with Rachel's as she also turned around but with much less power. She whimpered a moment before speaking up at my outburst, "Santana why are you so upset at me? You made me cry before and now you're yelling at me because of Finn?"

I slapped my hand down on my cart and maneuvered myself around it to face Rachel. The sudden sharp movement caused Rachel to back up and cower against the aisle.

"Listen okay Rachel? You have no idea what you're getting yourself into but if you want what's best for you, you'd back up off of Finn you understand?" I spewed at her angrily, leaning forward and forcing uneasy eye contact despite her efforts to look away from me.

"T-that's not fair" she began, the anxiety in her voice seething through, "I just really like him and…and he can also sing and he's sweet and-"

"-He's using you, you know? The girl he actually wants isn't the most easy to obtain so he settled on someone easy to throw his hands all over." I snapped and I shoved the box I had been holding into her chest, "You might want these by the way, you wouldn't want to catch something." I said with most bite but less volume.

She gazed down at the box and her eyes widened in shock to understand what the meaning was behind my statement. A box of Trojan condoms was now in her possession and the victory I felt was expressed through the enormous grin plastered on my face.

"What the fuck Santana?"

Déjà vu struck me just as hard as those words as I whirled around and was greeted with Quinn baring an angry glare. She walked towards us and her expression conveyed just as much confusion as there was angry. I was standing there in front of an almost-crying Rachel as she held a box of condoms.

"What do you mean?" I began as if I had done nothing wrong, all I did was give Rachel a nice dosage of truth, "I didn't do anything-"

"-Save it!" she said reading through my expression and turning to Rachel to try to take on the emotional disaster she was witnessing.

"Q-Quinn..." Rachel said between sobs as she fought furiously to hold back tears, "I'm…I'm so sorry I feel like such an idiot."

"What're you talking about?" Quinn began, rubbing her hand across Rachel's back to soothe her.

"Quinn...am I gonna...oh god I made such a stupid mistake." she shook her head and brought the box to her face to try to hide herself.

I laughed a little at the Trojan box covering her face, I wonder if she's actually ever seen one. My thoughts were interrupted by Quinn's eyebrow raise in my direction. She gestured to Rachel, "Care to explain what you've done to her?"

"I told you Quinny I didn't do anything." I said with an over exaggerated sigh, this situation went from highly entertaining to frustrating too quickly for me.

"What kind does Finn have? Is it curable?" Rachel asked lowering the box and looking at me with pleading eyes.

Quinn looked at her, her expression showing that she was definitely deep in thought trying to figure out what Rachel meant but all she managed to respond with was a simple "What?"

"Was it Herpes? Gonorrhea? Don't say it's a mix of something! I know that sexually transmitted diseases can cause tumors and growths in your throat and that would more than damage my vocal range." Rachel responded while realizing the box was still in her hand and chucking it on the cart.

Scratch what I said earlier, this is getting interesting.

"What is she talking about?" Quinn husked while looking at me and then back to Rachel.

"The STD that Santana said he had…" Rachel said and her expression quickly turned to a pout.

"What?" Quinn turned to me swiftly and walked towards me, turning her back on Rachel so she couldn't hear what she was going to say, "Santana what're you trying to pull here?"

"I kissed him too! I really hope I didn't catch anything." Rachel blurted out with more panic than she previously had.

"You probably caught everything already!" I yelled over Quinn's shoulder

Quinn gripped my shoulders to try to grab my attention but it clearly wasn't going to be the case, this was too great of an opportunity to pass up.

Quinn looked over her shoulders while still holding me and smiled at Rachel, "You can't catch anything from kissing don't worry" she said calmly

"Except for the fact he has mono too, that'll put quite a damper on your voice Cherry." I called and the small relief in Rachel's face was quickly shot down as she gasped loudly.

Quinn shoved me against the aisle and yelled at me, "Stop it Santana! Why are you trying to hurt her?"

Ignoring her question, I was shocked at the fact that she shoved me while I was trying to fight for _her_. I shoved her right back and she tumbled against the cart, knocking over a few boxes. I walked up and got right into her face, "Wanna recreate the night at the party? Remember how _that_ little battle ended Quinntoxicated?" I smirked

"Oh my god is mono even curable? Doesn't that last months?" Rachel yelled again, not even fazed by our fighting from her own 'turmoil'.

"Don't you dare bring that up now Santana." Quinn said as she pushed me back to create a distance between us, but I didn't move back too far, "I'm just trying to keep you from breaking this girl down _again._ Why do you have such a damn problem with her huh?"

"Do you even understand why I'm doing this to her? Do you know who she's talking about?" I questioned and couldn't help but smile at Rachel continuously freaking out behind Quinn, now clutching onto her cart dramatically.

"Does it matter? It's her own personal problem and the fact you're clouding her confidence with all these lies is really messed up Santana, I thought you were better than this." Quinn stated as she looked over her shoulder for a quick glance at Rachel again, "And it does last a while but I'm sure whoever Santana is talking about doesn't have it."

'Thank you' was mouth by Rachel who seemed to have control of her emotions after Quinn's reassurance.

Quinn looked back to me, awaiting a response and the silence was cut short as I met her eyes and told her.

"It does matter, because it's Finn."

Quinn's eyes widened and her mouth opened a little from the initial shock. She kept her eyes locked onto mine but I knew that she wasn't even focused on me. She was replaying everything Rachel had said in her head until all the pieces fit together and she understood what was going on.

She quickly turned and before I knew it, she was going all Lima Height.

"You…how dare you! After helping you and being there for you, you had to go after Finn!" She yelled at Rachel, walking toward her and shoving the cart out of the way to get herself fully immersed in Rachel's vision.

"I'm..I'm so sorry-"

"-Stop! Don't apologize. You and Finn? Are you serious right now, out of all the goddamn guys you could go after, on your first day at work you have to pry your hands all over him!" She was yelling even louder and quickly grabbed her, pulling her back.

"Let go of me Santana!" She yelled, trying to get loose from my grasp.

"I want to mess her up as much as you do Quinn but back the fuck off at work!" I retorted right back at her, it was my own effort at calming her down even though I was screaming just as loud.

"Why do you both want to hurt me so bad?" Rachel had to yell to try to overpower our yelling screams.

"Because you're a little slut!" I yelled at her and her eyes shot open, tears filling them up from the impact of my words.

"Because you're throwing yourself at the first guy who gives you the time!" Quinn yelled as well, trying to pull herself away from me still.

"I just said that." I whispered and Quinn shoved me with her elbow in response

"Fuck you Fabray! I'm on your goddamn side!"

"I'm not on anyone's side Santana I'm just fucking pissed okay?"

"Ladies!"

We all looked over and our hearts sank at once to see Mr. Schue glaring down at us, a crowd of customers surrounding him in awe at the spectacle we were creating.

"Office. Now." He yelled and walked away.

I let go of Quinn, shoving her with my elbow. She quickly turned to me and I backed up with my hands up as if it were an accident.

We all headed to the office in silence.

.~

"This is bullcrap!" I yelled, standing up from the chair I was uncomfortably seated in.

"Sit down Santana, I'm not done yet." Mr. Schue stated with his arms crossed.

"She's right Mr. Schue, we don't deserve a write-up for this, we were just….expressing. We're teenage girls, we express!" Quinn said in my defense

We were all sitting in chairs side by side in the office, Mr. Schue standing in front of us with a less than friendly look on his face.

"I'm disappointed in all of you, especially you two." He said looking towards Quinn and I, "Rachel just started today and you're already picking fights with her? You know how hard it is for her already?"

"I'm sure she already knows how hard it is." I muttered under my breath and Rachel glared at me from her seat.

"Stop it Santana! I haven't even engaged in any sexual activity with him yet…or ever." Rachel said, quieting down at the last part of her statement.

"Wait, ever? Are you serious?" I said as I was intrigued by our anecdote, "How can you even function?"

"Santana now everyone needs to have sex to be happy." Quinn chimed in with blatant irritation in her voice.

"Oh is that so Quinn? I liked you better when your mouth was occupied, maybe we should call Sam in here." I said with an eyebrow raise to make my point have more burn to it.

"Ladies! Do you see what I'm talking about? Can you stop talking to each other please?" Mr. Schue interjected and we all silenced ourselves. "I need you all to get along or we're going to have a serious problem. We had so many complaints from all the yelling and inappropriate language earlier. If you all can't find common ground then I'm going to need to seriously reconsider my staff."

I looked down a little disappointed in how upset I let myself get. I managed to avoid conflict with customers and when it came to co-workers it should have been a piece of cake to get along. I wasn't going to apologize though, that's not how I rolled.

"I won't write you guys up if you promise to not argue anymore. No more yelling or even talking to each other unless it's necessary. I care about you all and I want you to all excel but not if it means you all need to be torn down before progress can be made." He stated sternly and with a little more compassion laced in his voice. Mr. Schue could never be upset at anyone for too long, which I'm pretty sure is a huge flaw for a manager but if it helped me keep my job I was more than accepting of it.

.~

"Hey!"

I looked up from my usual spot on the bench and was slightly frustrated to see Matt smiling at me. Usually it was Brittany who would save me from my stumps from work but I wasn't exactly sure if she was working today. I had sent her a text right when I got outside but I didn't get anything back yet.

"Hi." I responded with the same monotone voice he was always rewarded.

He sat next to me and pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. Oh god. I hope he didn't think we were going to bond now because we both smoked.

"I'm having another party this Saturday at seven, think you can make it?" he asked as he lit his cigarette

I shrugged, "I might be able to, depends if I work or not really." I said with about as much excitement as I felt about going. My whole impression of the party changed when I realized that Brittany might be going. A small smiled crawled over my face and I quickly turned to look at Matt. He was a little shocked at my sudden excitement in the idea.

"But if I don't work I'm so down." I said with a smirk as I inhaled my cigarette. He sat for a moment staring at me and quickly stood up, realizing his presence was becoming a little awkward.

"Okay cool! I um, you can bring some friends too if you want and…" he trailed off, looking at the ground as if it was a teleprompter for his babbling, "It really would be awesome if you could make it!"

I looked over at him and right before I was going to respond I caught sight of blonde hair in the diner window. A huge smile grew on my face as Brittany was jumping up and waving to me, almost knocking a customer's drink over. She quickly turned to them to apologize and waved at me again before walking toward the back.

I laughed a little and looked back at Matt who looked at me, confused, but eager for a response.

"What?" I sputtered out between little bursts of laughter, realizing that he probably said something I should have listened to.

"Um, nothing, I'll see you later okay?" He said with a nod and walked back to the diner.

I waved to him as he walked off and I was about to head back inside and continue the rest of my break inside when I heard a voice yell my name.

"Saaaaaaaaantaaaaaaaaaanaaaaa aaaaa!"

I looked over quickly and couldn't help but smile as Brittany came over to me with a huge dopey grin on her face.

"What's gotten into you?" I asked her with a grin equally as big, despite my efforts to control it.

She grabbed my hand and led me around the store, ignoring my question. I felt a small hint of excitement ignite in me at what she was doing. That sparkle in her eye was a look I had been slowly getting accustomed to as the look of someone who had mischievous intentions.

We rounded to the side of my store where the drive-thru window for pharmacy was, which was completely empty since it was a weekday and was five in the afternoon. She continued to lead me until we reached the dumpsters that were located across from the drive-thru. It was a small little opening that was next to the bridge that held the death seat and was the substitute hangout location if the death seat was too busy with carts and pedestrians. We didn't exactly have a name for this place other than the 'pancake graveyard' as Brittany called it since she was always in charge of dumping all the excess pancakes into these bins.

She let go of me as we stood behind one of the dumpsters and turned to face me. Her eyes did their job perfectly in captivating me yet again. She always found a way to make every location and setting seem more enticing as long as those crystal blue eyes were on me while we were there. Hell, we were behind a dumpster and she still made my heart skip.

She walked toward me and toys with the collar of my polo as she stared at the space between us, "I missed you today." She said with a small pout.

My heart skipped at those words. She missed me? Hearing the reality of those words made me shiver. If only she know how much I always missed her. Actually, she deserves to know.

"Please, as if I go a day without missing you!" I said with a smile as I leaned in so my forehead was placed against hers.

She leaned in and pecked my lips, teasing me as she pulled away right when I leaned in to deepen it. I grabbed onto her hips and pulled her into me, smiling against her cheek as she nuzzled into my neck. I gasped out as her smile quickly turned into her sucking against my neck.

"Oh god, these are pretty big." Brittany said as she looked at the hickeys on my neck. I blushed and turned away from her so she didn't see. She noticed my head turn away and leaned over to catch my eyes, "don't be embarrassed! It's totally cute!" She said with a huge smile.

"Oh you think it's cute huh?" I said back and pushed her back lightly against the wall across from the back of the dumpsters and sucked on her neck. I pushed my legs between hers to try to create more friction and in reaction she bucked her hips forward. Her hands ran up the back of my polo and curved to stroke across my stomach. I bit on her neck lightly and slid my tongue over it, needing to taste her as well as give a little bit of revenge.

"S-San" she moaned and it made my stomach flip from how throaty it was. She gripped onto my shirt and attempted to turn her head away to escape my mouth but she unintentionally - or intentionally - exposed more of her neck to me and I took full advantage of it, tracing my kisses down her neck and nibbling along the way.

"T-they're gonna see it." She said through a gasp and I pulled away.

I smiled at her and licked my lips, "I guess you have a point, it would seem suspicious to go on break and come back with bruises down your neck."

"Unless I got into a fight with another pole, that's happened before." She stated with so much seriousness that I felt bad when a laugh found its way out.

"W-Wait…a pole?" I repeated and tilted my head in confusion

"Yeah, it was kinda traumatizing" She nodded and shrugged it off. I couldn't help but smile, seeing this goofy side of Brittany that I hadn't known before. It must have meant she felt comfortable with me if she was showing more of her true colors around me.

I looked up at her and pecked her back on the lips, gripping her hands and interlocking our fingers, "You're so silly you know?" I said with a giggle

"You love it though, at least I hope you do." She said with a hint of worry and I responded by pulled our interlocked fingers behind me, yanking her into me and kissing her deeply.

Right when I was going to deepen it even further by letting my tongue greet hers, I felt a vibration in my pocket. I sighed and pulled away, pulling my phone out of my pocket.

"Unknown number" I said and looked back up at Brittany.

"Answer it!" She chimed up while nodding her head forward.

"But I'd rather kiss you." I said back, my cheeks reddening a little at how quickly I said that out loud.

She noticed and poked my nose, "And I would too, but answer it!"

I nodded and turned around, trying to hide the enormous grin on my face from how cute she was at handling every situation. I clicked the green button and pulled the phone to my ear, "yes?"

"Is this Santana Lopez?"

"Yes this is her."

"Your mother Maribel Lopez listened your number as an emergency contact-"

"-Emergency? What's going on?"

Brittany walked around to face me and her face was covered in shock from how serious this conversation had gotten. She put her hand on my shoulder and rubbed it to try to comfort me through whatever was happening.

"She's in the hospital. She's being taken to the ER right now."


	15. All This Unpredictability

**Well I owe all of you an apology Dx  
****I'm sorry I've been gone, especially on a cliff hanger! As many of you may know from my authors note in chapter 1, this story was based on my life at the time and my interested in someone. However I lost all motivation to write when I found out that the certain someone already was in a relationship. It bummed me out and I didn't have the desire to keep writing.  
****Time has passed and I did find someone, she's amazing and I love her with all my heart :) I thought I'd at least put up this update and see if I can get back on track. I'm so sorry for the delay, hope you like this update!**

* * *

"Where is she?"

"Santana calm down. They're not gonna let us in if-"

"-Where is she!"

I was pulled back by both Quinn and Brittany as I slammed my hand on the counter. The nurse gave me a quizzical look but didn't raise her voice at me considering she was probably used to people entering the hospital in a panic.

"Listen to your friend, calm down and please tell me the last name of the patient you'd like to visit." The nurse stated calmly as she turned to the computer, ready to search for a name.

I inhaled slowly but it didn't help from my heart hammering in my chest at all the horrible predicaments I pictured my mother in. I tried to push the thoughts away so I could get to her as quickly as possible.

"Lopez, first name Maribel."

The woman typed away on the keyboard, waiting a moment before turning to face me. Her face faltered a little and I felt my heart sink from the look on her face.

"She's in the emergency room still. The doctors are working on her at the moment and haven't released any information about her current state. You can't see her until she is in the post-operation room but we'll give you updates. Please, take a seat." The nurse said as kindly as she could, but no matter how soft her tone was it didn't stop the reality of the situation from tearing me apart on the inside.

I nodded and sat down in the waiting area that wasn't surrounded by too many people. I didn't even realize that Quinn had held my hand to the seat and helped me down. My legs didn't feel like they were there and my body was shaking. My mother was in the emergency room and they were operating on her. I thought of all the horrible things that could have happened and cursed myself for not noticing the signs sooner.

She was home all the time, always acting suspicious and even on that night she got home drunk I didn't even bother to question her about it. I was so comfortable in my ignorance that I was oblivious to a problem that might have been going on.

My hands were shaking when I looked down at them and my throat was dry. I felt lightheaded and sick at the same time. The smell of the hospital wasn't helping with my uneasiness in my stomach and I felt like I was going to puke at any moment. The rustling of people running around the hospital and talking over each other frantically was making my head pound even more.

"We should get her water." Quinn said as she stroked my back, crouching in from of me and eyeing me up and down.

"I'll go get it."

I looked up to hear the source of the voice and was shocked to see Brittany was here too. I barely remember anything between the phone call and arriving here. All I know is that Quinn drove me and I spent the entire ride calling my mother's cell phone. I hadn't realized that Brittany came along with us and I felt even more naked than I had a moment ago as she saw me at my worst.

She smiled at me lightly before turning and walking away. I exhaled loudly and leaded my head back against the wall. I close my eyes and all my worries and anxieties poured back into my head. Why hadn't I just asked her? I didn't even bother to see where she was or how she was recovering when I got home today from Brittany's. I just ignored her and now here I am regretting every decision I had made. I felt my stomach churn again.

"Hey, Santana it's going to be okay." I heard Quinn whisper softly as she stroked my arm gently to comfort me. I looked over at her and she must have seen the worry in my eyes because she gripped my wrist tightly and yanked me forward, pulling me into a tight embrace. I gripped her back tightly and then everything came out.

Tears streamed down my face and I sobbed loudly into Quinn's ear as I pulled her into me as tightly as I could. I didn't even make out complete words, I just blurted everything I felt inside of her ear. My tears wiped all over her neck and cheek but she just continued to hold me until I calmed down.

"Santana….shhh it'll be okay. I'm here for you, no matter what okay?" She said softly to be between my loud gasps. It was all too much for me, I just wanted to run away and escape from all of this.

"Is Santana Lopez here?"

I let go of Quinn and looked over to the source and saw a woman in a white coat looking around. I stood up slowly, using Quinn's shoulder for support and waved my hand over so the lady would see me. When she spotted me, she gestured for me to follow her.

I hadn't noticed that Brittany was standing there until I turned to look at Quinn. She was holding a cup of water and smiled meekly at me. I figured that she didn't want to disturb me from the emotional spill I had a moment ago. I nodded to her to show my appreciation and looked at Quinn who stood up and held my hand.

As the three of us walked over, the woman stopped us and said, "I'm sorry but only Santana can continue past here. You two can wait out here unless you are also a family member or someone whom Mrs. Lopez listed as an emergency contact."

Quinn and Brittany looked at each other and then both stared at me. I turned to them both and gave them quick hugs before briskly heading through the double doors, following after the woman.

"My name is Doctor Reese, I'm going to take you to your mother now okay?" She said in an uneasy voice as she pulled out a card form her pocket and pressed it against a machine next to another pair of doors. Within a few moments the door swung open and she started going inside.

I didn't respond to her, or to the calls of people asking me to move out of the way, or to anything really. I just trudged on forward mindlessly, hoping that following the white coat in front of me would make everything better.

.~

Quinn slumped down on the chair and sighed, looking at Brittany as she gulped down the water and sat next to her.

"I feel so bad." Brittany said with a pout on her face. She slid her foot back and forth on the tile floor as her shoulders slumped forward.

Quinn nodded in agreement even though Brittany wasn't looking at her. She wasn't exactly sure what to say, "Yeah I do too. At least she has us here." She said and turned to look at Brittany. Her mouth opened and closed, trying to find the right words to ask without being offensive. She bit her lip and finally decided to be blunt.

"Not to be rude but, who are you?"

Brittany looked from the floor to Quinn and realized that she had just as little idea of who she was as well. She's heard Santana talk about her a lot during their breaks so she figured that they were close friends. After the initial news about her mother, Santana couldn't even walk from how shocked she was so Brittany took her to her store and Quinn immediately spotted them as they entered. Quinn didn't question who she was or why Santana was crying, she just heard Santana blurt out about her mother and Brittany told her that she needed to get to the hospital. They decided to leave and told Mr. Schue it was an emergency and Brittany told the diner she had to leave because she felt sick, which wasn't completely a lie. Seeing Santana so hurt and scared made her feel so powerless and useless. She just wanted to see Santana smile.

"I'm Brittany, Santana's…" Brittany paused to try to figure out how to word what she was to Santana. Friend was definitely an understatement at this point but ever since last night they never even spoke about the status of their relationship. She knew that if she said she was her girlfriend, than Quinn would probably respect her more and accept the fact that she accompanied them. However, she didn't want to out Santana if she was still keeping it a secret.

"…friend."

Quinn raised an eyebrow at Brittany's response. Quinn was sharp and noticed a lot of subtle details that others would look over and not question. The delay in Brittany's response was definitely suspicious, especially considering how she settled on calling her a friend. She shook her head, maybe she was over thinking this and Brittany was nervous to call her Santana's friend if she wasn't close to her. However, why would she be so adamant on coming along if they weren't close?

Quinn closed her eyes and tried to ignore her clouded thoughts. Right now all that mattered was Santana and making sure she was going to be okay.

"I see, I'm glad she has someone else here for her who cares for her so much." Quinn said as she leaned back and stared at the ceiling.

Brittany froze for a moment, wondering if Quinn's choice of words were trying to imply that she knew, but she ignored it and stared at the clock.

It was almost six and she had a nervous feeling it was only the beginning of a long night.

.~

"Are you going to tell me to just make me walk across this entire goddamn hospital?"

"Please, Santana was it? I need you to calm down." Doctor Reese replied with a frustrated sigh.

We turned another corner and entered a room that was full of beds that were covered with long draped curtains to cover each patient. My heart fluttered for a moment seeing all the wide smiles and laughter that filled the room. Even though a lot of the patients didn't look like they were in the best condition, their expression showed hope and relief. Seeing all the families together and embracing each other with their warmth made me feel so much more relieved to be able to feel that in just a few moments.

The warmth died faster than I knew was possible as we walked straight through the room and out another pair of double doors.

"Wait!" I called and grabbed the doctor's hand quickly to stop her. She was taken aback by my sudden action and turned to meet my panic. I saw that behind her led to less welcoming rooms and I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay where the joy was tangible and the smell of flowers encompassed the air.

"Where are we going? I thought she was going to be in post-op." I said quietly, trying to contain my emotions so I could get a straight answer from her.

She sighed lightly, looking over to the side and pondering what she was going to tell me. I wanted to yell and shake her to try and make her explain to me what was going on but instead I stood in front of her and waited. I felt so powerless, I hated feeling like this.

"Just follow me okay? We're almost there and I'll explain everything when we get there." She reassured me and turned around, heading through another set of doors that required her card.

When we entered the room we stopped outside a door and she pointed to the window that was wedged in the middle of the door so you could see inside. I hesitated at first and then approached the window slowly, peaking inside.

I felt sick to my stomach.

There was my mother lying on the bed, completely wired up and bandaged. I could see tubes connected to her arms and a large cast wrapped around her leg. The most horrifying part of what I saw was her head. She had so much covering on the right side and her right cheek was completely flared up and bruised.

I tried to connect the dots in my head to figure out what was wrong but Doctor Reese's arm on my shoulder shook me out of my trance. I turned to her and her face was sweet and full of care. It was right then that I knew everything wasn't going to be okay.

"She was in a car accident. There was someone else with her in the vehicle but they didn't suffer as much damage as she did. The impact was too strong for the spinal fluid around her brain to cushion, and she suffered heavy brain damage from her brain colliding with her skull."

I stared at her, registering everything she was saying and with every word my heart beat faster and I felt more lightheaded. My hands were shaking again and I really wished that Quinn or Brittany were here with me so I didn't have to go through this alone. I felt so vulnerable but I had no choice but to listen as she continued.

"We were able to get to her in time and treat her wounds so her concussion was not as damaging, but during the impact her cerebral cortex, the neural tissue on the outside of the brain, suffered a massive injury so-"

"-So what? Can you stop beating around the damn bush and tell me!" I yelled, my worry quickly escalating into anger. Her expression didn't change and I quickly calmed myself down. I had to calm myself down or she wasn't going to tell me, "I know you have to explain the logistics of it and all but, can you just tell me what this all means?" I said quietly as I met her eyes.

"She's comatose." Doctor Reese said bluntly at my request.

I felt my heart drop, my entire feeling in my body along with it. I stared at her but I wasn't looking at her, I wasn't looking at anything. My eyes were wide in shock and my mouth hung open at these words. It all happened so fast that this didn't seem like it was my reality. My whole body began shaking and Doctor Reese quickly wrapped her arms around me. I heard her call something over to someone else but I didn't care what she said at this point. She said everything I wanted to hear and everything I feared hearing. My vision was fading in and out and I thought I was going to burst from all these different reactions occurring all over my body.

And it was all too much, so my body shut off.

.~

"Santana!"

I opened my eyes and was in a dark room. Where was this place? And who was calling me? I spun around to try to navigate by my body was so weak. I must have fainted earlier, but that doesn't explain why I was alone now.

"Santana."

The voice called again but this time it wasn't as loud. I turned my head and finally navigated off the comforter I was on and down the hallway. It took me a moment to realize I was in my own home, minus a lot of furniture. It was very empty and the darkness that consumed was probably because all the windows were blocked off. Why were they blocked off?

"Santana…"

I followed the voice as it called a third time, but this time it was much quieter, I must be getting closer. My hand trailed along the wall to make sure I wasn't going to bump into anything. I went into what should have been my room but instead it was a bar. My mother was at the counter laughing loudly next to a man whose face I couldn't see.

My body froze, what was going on here? Why is there a bar in my damn house? But most importantly, why is my mom awake when she was just in the hospital moments ago?

I approached her but the closer I got to her, the louder the room got and she started tipping back shots of alcohol as the people in the bar cheered her on. I tried to yell to tell her to stop because of the condition she was just under but my attempt were no use against the growing sound in the room. The sound was loud a piercing in my ears and even elevated over the yells of the people around the bar. I was frozen and the sound started resemble a siren. It grew closer to me and suddenly I heard a yell.

"Fuck!"

My eyes shot open. I was in the back of a car. My head ached and my body felt weak and tired. Was that all a dream? The noise was still increasing in volume. I turned my head to see Quinn in the driver seat. My confusion slowly dissipated when I pieced together what the sound was. I sat up and gripped the side of my neck immediately. I didn't know how long I had been lying like that but I ignored it and turned around.

Just as I thought.

There was a police car behind us with its lights flashing and siren going off. That would make sense as to why I heard it in my dream, or nightmare rather.

"Santana, you're up!"

I spun my head around a little too quickly and yelped in pain, gripping it tighter with my hand and looked up to the passenger seat. I couldn't help but smile a little seeing Brittany staring at me with the most ecstatic expression on her face. I don't know how long I had been passed out for, but probably long enough to make them worry.

"Yeah, where are we going?" I asked as I searched around and saw that we were actually on the freeway, it was dark out, and Quinn was vigorously trying to maneuver the car into the right-hand lane.

Brittany looked over at Quinn then back at me with a nervous smile, "Well…we left the hospital half an hour ago and now we're…being pulled over." She cautiously said the last words as to not further panic Quinn.

But it wasn't Quinn she should be worried about panicking because right as Brittany finished talking, my heartbeat sped up and everything came rushing back to me. My mom was in the hospital still, and we were heading back.

Brittany noticed the panic on my face and immediately rotated herself all the way in her seat to try to hold my hand and comfort me. "Santana, it's gonna be okay." She said as she gripped my hand tighter.

I looked at her and calmed down a little. Judging from the situation, it seemed like Brittany didn't want to add anymore anxiety to this situation considering we were being pulled over.

We got into the right lane finally and came to a stop. Quinn turned her car off and slumped back in her seat. She let out a frustrated sigh and leaned her head forward onto the steering wheel. Brittany shuffled a little in her seat and spoke softly to Quinn, "Did you want me to grab your registration from the glove department?"

Quinn nodded and Brittany leaned forward to open the glove department. She pushed through some papers inside of it and took out a small slip of paper.

Within a few moments the cop walked out of his car and shone his flashlight inside the car as Quinn rolled down the window.

"Hello ladies." The cop said sweetly and shone his light around the car to see how many people were in the car. He looked back at Quinn as she gripped onto her license and registration.

"You've got a busted tail light." The cop said and the frustration between the three of us in the car was almost tangible. I can't believe he pulled us over and threw his sirens on full blast just to tell us that.

"Sorry sir." Quinn muttered nicely which actually surprised me.

The cop said a few more things but I tuned it out to look at my phone. It was three in the morning, so it probably made sense that he pulled us over for something like that since he was getting bored on his shift.

The cop walked away holding Quinn's license and registration and there was an uncomfortable silence between us.

"Is she okay?" I muttered and I saw Quinn and Brittany freeze up at the question. They exchanged glances between each other, almost as if they were having a silent conversation through their eyes and then Quinn turned to look at me.

"Santana she…" Quinn began, "You fainted and we spent a few more hours in the hospital but they told us to leave since she was being put under some treatments and tests."

A smile grew on my face at her words, "Wait, so she's awake? She's okay?" My voice cracked as the volume of my voice increased with each question. I hadn't spoken much higher than a whisper the entire time I was awake.

They exchanged another look and my heart fell.

"Your mom is…" Quinn began until she noticed the cop come back and give her back her things. She took them and shoved them in the middle console of her car as the cop told her that she had to get her light fixed soon. Quinn swore she would get them done in the morning and with that the cop walked back to his car.

As Quinn started the car we continued the drive back in silence. Quinn never revisited what she was going to tell me but a part of me was too scared to know the truth, and I was also just too damn tired. I leaned back and closed my eyes, and within moments I was back to sleep.

.~

"Hey, hey wake up."

I groaned and opened my eyes, looking at Brittany who was turned around in her seat shaking me. I rubbed my eyes and looked outside to see where we were. It was still dark out, and the neighborhood we were in was slightly familiar to me.

"Where are we?" I asked as I unbuckled the seat belt and stretched my arms out. My neck ached again and I gripped it with my hand.

Brittany pouted a bit seeing the pain cross my face and said, "We're at my house. Quinn is dropping us off here."

Us?

I looked over at Quinn as she climbed out of the car. She opened my door for me and I raised my eyebrow at her surprisingly kind gesture. She held her hand out for me and when I leaned forward and opened my mouth to make a snarky comment, I felt pain seer through me.

"Ouch! Fuck!" I yelled and both Brittany and Quinn shushed me at the same time. I looked down and saw bandages wrapped around my left foot. When I looked up at Quinn, she spoke over my potential question, "You hit your foot when you fainted." She said bluntly and leaned forward to grab my hand and help me out.

Walking on it only hurt a little so I knew it wasn't severely damaged, but it still shocked me that it took me this long to realize this was on my foot. Brittany got out of the car and held my hand. I couldn't help but smile a little at the gesture. When Quinn did it, it was also sweet but having Brittany take care of me had a different impact on me.

Brittany walked me to the door and quickly ran back to Quinn and exchanged a few words with her. I looked back at my phone and finally realized that I had a few voicemails. I was probably going to check them in the morning because I definitely didn't want to do anything right now but sleep.

Brittany waved to Quinn as she pulled out of the driveway and drove off. We went inside her house quietly, and she helped me into her kitchen. The last time I entered her house, we were also being very quiet but with the intention of doing something completely different than just sleeping.

I sat at the kitchen table and watched Brittany pour us both a cup of water and sat at the table with me.

"Hungry or anything?" She asked quickly and eyed around the kitchen.

"No I'm okay." I replied and a silence took over. It was far from uncomfortable though. I felt at peace around Brittany.

I took a sip of the water she gave me and then set the cup back down. "Brittany…" I began and looked up to meet her eyes. I felt a shiver run through me when I saw them. They looked just as beautiful as they always did, I wondered if I would ever get used to their effect on me. "Thank you for being there for me today."

Brittany smiled and played around with the handle of her cup, "Quinn was there too." She said and took a cup of her water.

"Yeah but I've known Quinn forever." I began and tried to hold back a laugh when some water dribbled down her cheek, "But you…we've only gotten to know each other a few weeks ago and you're already taking time to be there for me and care for me and…" I trailed off since my sentence was turning into a jumble of words that probably weren't accurately expressing how I really felt.

She smiled and wiped her chin, "Santana, it doesn't matter how long you've known someone, it matters how strong your bond is. Yeah I don't know everything about you like your favorite song or favorite place to kiss, which is up for debate actually." My face flushed red at her statement and I giggled as she continued, "But what's important is how we spend the time we have together, and I feel like we're getting so much closer every time we hang out. I like being around you and there was no way I was going to just ditch you."

I looked down and then stood up from my seat. She was caught off guard by this and looked up at me suddenly as I walked over to her. I leaned down and cupped her face, pulling her into a long and tender kiss. Her lips were always so soft and it made my heart flutter to feel her smile into the kiss. I pulled back and smiled down at her, "Thank you." I said softly as she stood up.

She walked toward me and put her hands on my hips, leaning her forehead down against mine and locked eyes with me.

I leaned forward and pushed her head back to lay my head against her chest. My throat felt dry and I started hiccupping and gasping. I felt my eyes water and Brittany gripped her arms around me, holding me close to her.

"She's still in the hospital isn't she?" I muttered against her chest as the tears poured down my face and I grabbed her hips, her back, just anything to keep her close to me. I felt so vulnerable and scared and I needed her to be my guardian.

She didn't answer for a little while and then finally husked, "Yeah.", which triggered into her holding me tighter as I gasped out a muffled moan and felt my heart sink.

"What if she doesn't wake up? What if we never talk again? I don't want her to die Brittany! I don't want her to go without telling her everything she deserves to know! She can't leave when we have so much more to live through together, I love her and need her! I need my mom, I need her right now!" I cried into her chest and gripped her sides harder. I felt like I was hurting her but Brittany didn't complain. She just held onto me with the same protective grip she had around me.

Never in my life have I felt so vulnerable and safe than I did in Brittany's arms right then.


End file.
